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Scenes from Coney Island, part IV of V

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, November 03, 2011, 04:12:24 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

November 03, 2011, 04:12:24 PM
Coney Island may have started out as a place, but it's become a state of mind.  It's that person who thinks watching Faces of Death is entertainment.  It's the jackass who HAW HAWs at someone else's break up.  It's the fat fucking face of Po'buckerism all over America, in every bar, workplace, chat room, whatever, all around us.  The really fun part is that people think they're being bad or rebellious when they do this sort of shit, while in reality, they're just part of The Machine.

Just look around you.  Look at the cow-faced masses of people who worry about what Lindsay Lohan is up to, or who take a little extra time out to make some stranger's day just a little bit longer.  You know who I'm talking about...The jackass who purposefully tries to pace you on the highway, so you can't change lanes.  The low-foreheaded, moronic kids who "stick it to the man" by hassling any passers-by that don't look ready to beat their fucking asses.  The clerk at the DMV who lives to send people back to the end of the line.

The fact that these people live long enough to breed is, in my opinion, proof of a malevolent god.  The fact that so many of them live long enough to justify programming decisions like Dancing With the Stars is proof that primates weren't the way to go with intelligent life.  We're just a little too smart to die out, and just a little too dumb to do anything more worthwhile than tormenting anyone that comes within arm's reach.

And THAT, RIGHT FUCKING THERE, is Coney Island.  It's what made it possible, it's why the place has stayed in existence for 146 years.  It's the normal state of existence for domesticated primates (with some exceptions, which will be dealt with in part V), and it's why most people should be sewn into sacks with politicians and be thrown in the ocean.  For their own good.

Well, no, scratch that.  It's obviously not to their benefit.  It's to everyone else's benefit.  By this I mean "me", though a few of you may also be exceptions.  Christ.  Everyone get the fuck off of my planet.  I hate you all.

Or Kill me.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#1
November 03, 2011, 08:32:59 PM
Guess this series died under its own weight.   :lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#2
November 03, 2011, 08:48:30 PM
:mittens:

Just saw this. Seriously, I know the assholes you mean... they're EVERYWHERE.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#3
November 03, 2011, 08:54:08 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 03, 2011, 08:48:30 PM
:mittens:

Just saw this. Seriously, I know the assholes you mean... they're EVERYWHERE.

Well, the last installment - tomorrow - is a bit more upbeat, but it required the illustration of the ocean of human assholes we float in.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#4
November 03, 2011, 08:59:35 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 03, 2011, 08:54:08 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 03, 2011, 08:48:30 PM
:mittens:

Just saw this. Seriously, I know the assholes you mean... they're EVERYWHERE.

Well, the last installment - tomorrow - is a bit more upbeat, but it required the illustration of the ocean of human assholes we float in.

It's like a human Great Garbage Patch!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
November 03, 2011, 09:03:58 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 03, 2011, 08:59:35 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 03, 2011, 08:54:08 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 03, 2011, 08:48:30 PM
:mittens:

Just saw this. Seriously, I know the assholes you mean... they're EVERYWHERE.

Well, the last installment - tomorrow - is a bit more upbeat, but it required the illustration of the ocean of human assholes we float in.

It's like a human Great Garbage Patch!

Except instead of it being in the pacific, it's right in your town.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Luna

#6
November 03, 2011, 09:06:44 PM
This one calls for something meaningful in response, but I'm still reeling...
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Freeky

#7
November 03, 2011, 10:32:53 PM
I came back on looking for this one specially.  I look forward to tomorrow's one. :)

Richter

#8
November 03, 2011, 10:53:51 PM
:mittens:

This makes me feel like either of the main characters at the end of "Martrys"
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat
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