OK Cupid: Round IVXXXIX

[Doktor Howl]

That would just be rude to the smalldick community.

You wouldn't BELIEVE the idea I have.   

[Ben Shapiro]

That would just be rude to the smalldick community.

True....

[President Television]

Last Saturday, I lost my virginity. Thanks, okcupid!

Ok, some elaboration: Last week, I messaged and met up with a very nice girl. We liked each other and spent most of the week hanging out downtown. Eventually, the subject of sex came up, and it was something we both wanted to do, so we made plans and did it at the end of the week. It turns out we're really compatible, and it went well. Neither of us is really in a position for a romantic relationship, but I think we basically have the ideal kind of friendship with benefits. We're both really open about sex with each other, but it's far from the central reason we have anything to do with each other.

I've always been kinda terrified of the prospect of encroaching on someone else's boundaries or being creepy and predatory, and that's the main reason I hadn't really made a move with anyone before. I'm glad my first time turned out to be about as thoroughly consensual as humanly possible.

[Doktor Howl]

but I think we basically have the ideal kind of friendship with benefits.

This rarely works.  It sounds like you like each other.  Dive in headfirst.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

hxxp://www.okcupid.com/profile/boxer4you12

I didn't message him, I didn't look at his profile, I didn't do shit. This is what he dumped in my inbox as the very first interaction.

I'm thinking you and me.. we meet up in the woods and kiss eachother. Just enjoying the warmth of making out eyes closed lip biting with every fourth kiss..Feeling your head tilt back with me kissing your neck inch by inch by inch peck by peck till I'm at your ear..I'll grab your hair and pull your head back while I tease your ear lobe and nibble / suck..telling you "I want you..your skin tastes so great..I'm going to take my big cock and Fuck you over and over till your dripping"

Then I'll let my grip off of your pony tail and stand behind you. I'll push you forcefully to the closest tree. Your hands grasping the trunk. You breathing heavily as I lift your skirt up and smack your ass red.

You'll be enjoying the pain holding tighter against the tree almost hurting your hands. Then I'll rip your blouse off and unstrap your bra so your breasts hang there. You'll try to cover them and push you back to the tree and slap your ass even harder as punishment..

You'll be breathing heavy scared but excited for what's next. This time I'll place my hands against the back of your neck and slide them down your spine softly feeling the softness of your skin..then I'll reach your ass and slide down your thong. With my left hand I'll splice open your pussy and send two fingers deep in you..

Letting you enjoy the feeling as I explore your pussy feeling all inside. You'll feel my right hand in front of your thiegh reaching between your legs and rubbing your clit at the same time. Hands to the tree and moaning with each stroke of my fingers into you. Barely holding on your slip to the tree and I reposition you right away and continue finger fucking you until you shake..your legs barely hold and you cum..

Soaked in cum I pull out my left hand and use the right now in you. Going fast hard and making you moan with each push. My cock is throbbing hard waiting for you and now that you've finished you have a job i pull you too me and my hands soaked in your cum I massage your tits with them getting them wett and tease your nipples..you can't handle it so I pull with two fingers on each one n snap just a little..enough to make you whine because of how good it feels. Your turned around now staring in my eyes we kiss..lips pursed and my cock pushed to your clit. Body's close warmth exhanged and my eyes confident into you.. I lift you up onto me pushed against the tree and suck your left breast..enjoying the taste of your cum on them.. sucking soft then hard leaving hickies all over each one..I'll go to the right one next and as I'm teasing your nipple your head keeps falling back in enjoyment.. I can't stop I need more

Your a very lucky little girl I say to you and you smirk but are scared

I put you back down lay onto the ground and tell you to unzip my jeans..you do as your told then I have you position yourself opposite of me and make you suck me off. I'm staring into your soaked pussy and I can't help myself. It feels so good that your face first all the way onto my Dick and I start licking your clit focusing on the top.

Iicking into your pussy for that sweet cum I love then I spit on it and start sucking your clit just enough pressure to keep suction on it while I slap my tounge left and right on your clit pressing that ball that makes you choke on my cock from the pleasure of getting off

Your so wett and you reach your orgasm.. I'm ready to cum in your mouth but I reach up with my tongue force it into you and rub your clit fast as i taste all of you

So your watching my starving cock throb sucking and licking it. I pull you up with your hair and make you turn to me

Your sitting on my abs and I prop you up letting your pussy lips rest against the tip of my cock... I push you onto me even tho there not fully in.. I pull you up more and let you adjust so I can slide smoothly into you

Slowly letting you pump my cock bouncing on it as it sinks deep into you with each wrench.. then when your going fast ill pull you too me from your waste and start sucking your breasts

I'll grab your hips and force you onto me while my ass in is the air meeting you slamming down on me.. when your fully in ill slide you back into the air and out of me.. ill slam your pussy back onto me and force you closer to me so that your clit splays and rubs against me.. youll whine with the feeling of your clit being pushed back and forth. My cock only moving less than an inch out of you at a time I'll force you to sit fully up hands on my chest while I'm pushing your hips to slide back and forth from my legs sliding your pussy against my skin while it sinks back and forth past your g spot

Getting faster and faster it starts burning your clit like friction from rubing so hard. Then you reach it as your clit is numb and you squeeze my cock so hard as you release that I shove it deeper and cum into you.. I'll put your hand on your clit to rub the rest out as you squeeze my cock hard and I finish inside you

I let you fall on me and we lay there in the woods naked to eachothr skin pressed flat and making out as the warm wind of beach sways into the forrest

Cock still in you the whole time we pass out and wake up hours later inside you...

I need an adult

Can I write the response?

This is the only possible correct course of action.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Last Saturday, I lost my virginity. Thanks, okcupid!

Ok, some elaboration: Last week, I messaged and met up with a very nice girl. We liked each other and spent most of the week hanging out downtown. Eventually, the subject of sex came up, and it was something we both wanted to do, so we made plans and did it at the end of the week. It turns out we're really compatible, and it went well. Neither of us is really in a position for a romantic relationship, but I think we basically have the ideal kind of friendship with benefits. We're both really open about sex with each other, but it's far from the central reason we have anything to do with each other.

I've always been kinda terrified of the prospect of encroaching on someone else's boundaries or being creepy and predatory, and that's the main reason I hadn't really made a move with anyone before. I'm glad my first time turned out to be about as thoroughly consensual as humanly possible.

YAY! Way to go!