Formal Notice

[The Rev]

awesome, man! Good to hear it!

Thanks. For all this time my self worth has taken quite a beating.

From having to repeat and spell out in excruciating detail exactly how disabled you are? I went through something very similar, over the course of the past five years, it's absolutely fucking destructive to your self image, I know exactly what you mean. Creeps up on you, too. Normally I cope with optimism and focusing on the positive, being confident and not giving up--but if you show that to the officials, they won't take you seriously. Instead, you need to dig up that vulnerable self, expose it to the world and amplify that by 10, to have a chance.

You know those confidence-boosting exercises? Imagine a situation in your past where you felt confident, make it bigger, exaggerate, brighten, vivid colours, etc etc. This shit actually works, it can even bring lasting change if you do it right. Now these fuckers want you to do the exact opposite. Over the course of several years, explain to us in forms, and writing, and letters and personal interviews just exactly how worthless you are. And if you don't bring it bad enough, grovel deep enough, appear as an absolutely worthless incapable heap of trash, back to square one, try again, but this time write a sadder story.

Of course I'm lucky that I live in a place where I get access to this kind of aid, but the whole process actually kind of sort of worsened my condition, exactly what you say Charlie, on the self-worth aspect. Cold ruthless bureaucracy and very personal issues are a bad mix.

Well the good thing is that it's over, we can return to our confident ass-kicking selves again, it may take some time, but we know it can be done, right?

Physically I am fucked. What little walking I do must be done with a cane. Everything else requires a wheelchair. The last surgery damaged a lot of nerves so there is so I have no idea when I have to go to the bathroom, and my prostate is also numb, rendering me sexually impotent.

I am forced to self cath about 5 times a day. My lower back is FUBAR, so is my left shoulder. I have to wear diapers now too. The meds I am on reduce me to a babbling idiot at times.

The self image damage came from Terri having to continue to work in spite of degenerative disc disease due to me being unable to work. It broke my heart to see her come home barely able to even walk from pain. Monday she is putting in her two week notice.

Suddenly I find myself smiling, and I like that. Yes, my confidence is returning by leaps and bounds right now. I am happy...

[Triple Zero]

Wow yeah. I didn't mean to say I know exactly what you mean--even though that's what I said, wrong words.

That's terrible, you have to deal with all of that ... But great that things are looking up now! Is the disability claim enough to support both of you then?

[The Rev]

Wow yeah. I didn't mean to say I know exactly what you mean--even though that's what I said, wrong words.

That's terrible, you have to deal with all of that ... But great that things are looking up now! Is the disability claim enough to support both of you then?

I took no offense Trip! We all have our crosses to bear.

Yes, we can actually live fairly decently on the income I will be receiving. Living in a motorhome will eliminate a lot of expenses. We have already researched being campground hosts, which comes with free camping and in some cases minimum wage. The bulk settlement will allow us to purchase outright a fairly nice motorhome ans still leave a few thousand in the bank. A year and a half of back pay makes a tidy sum.

[The Rev]

awesome, man! Good to hear it!

Thanks. For all this time my self worth has taken quite a beating.

From having to repeat and spell out in excruciating detail exactly how disabled you are? I went through something very similar, over the course of the past five years, it's absolutely fucking destructive to your self image, I know exactly what you mean. Creeps up on you, too. Normally I cope with optimism and focusing on the positive, being confident and not giving up--but if you show that to the officials, they won't take you seriously. Instead, you need to dig up that vulnerable self, expose it to the world and amplify that by 10, to have a chance.

You know those confidence-boosting exercises? Imagine a situation in your past where you felt confident, make it bigger, exaggerate, brighten, vivid colours, etc etc. This shit actually works, it can even bring lasting change if you do it right. Now these fuckers want you to do the exact opposite. Over the course of several years, explain to us in forms, and writing, and letters and personal interviews just exactly how worthless you are. And if you don't bring it bad enough, grovel deep enough, appear as an absolutely worthless incapable heap of trash, back to square one, try again, but this time write a sadder story.

Of course I'm lucky that I live in a place where I get access to this kind of aid, but the whole process actually kind of sort of worsened my condition, exactly what you say Charlie, on the self-worth aspect. Cold ruthless bureaucracy and very personal issues are a bad mix.

Well the good thing is that it's over, we can return to our confident ass-kicking selves again, it may take some time, but we know it can be done, right?

I am sorry you have to wade through this as well. The weight can be overbearing. I like that you are trying to stay positive though, some days it's just damn near impossible, isn't it? Well, if you ever need an ear look me up!

(on my 4th read this hit me, sorry for the delay)

PILLZ HERE

[Triple Zero]

It's okay, I got my approval a few months ago, the most emotionally difficult bits are behind me (as far as I know). So I'm getting money, and I'll be enrolling in a sort of program soon that'll get me work with added coaching or something and I'll slowly expand my activities to see at what level qua stress/endurance I can function (hard to explain). Fortunately, with my background in computers, I don't need that many hours in the week to get a decent pay, so maybe I won't need the aid any more at some point, but that'll be some years from now.

[The Rev]

Motorhome shopping is fun! Looked at two today. One was a giant NO, the other was a little too much money. Onward and upward.

[Bruno]

Are you shopping on craigslist, or going to dealerships?

[The Rev]

Are you shopping on craigslist, or going to dealerships?

Yes and Yes. Newspaper, etc. If we can't find what we want here we will go to Denver.

[The Rev]

We put a deposit down on this today.


http://www.rvusa.com/rvinventory_item.aspx?id=432716


Home Sweet Home

[Luna]

We put a deposit down on this today.


http://www.rvusa.com/rvinventory_item.aspx?id=432716


Home Sweet Home

Congrats, awesome!

[The Rev]

We put a deposit down on this today.


http://www.rvusa.com/rvinventory_item.aspx?id=432716


Home Sweet Home

Congrats, awesome!

Thanks, the disability money needs to show up this week though...

[Telarus]

Nice one. Crossing fingers for you!