Contest entry: Straight Edge...not hardly

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

Straight Edge...not hardly

(Turd, I thought you might appreciate this true-as-I-remember-it story more than a rant )

I worked at a bar called Mickey's one summer.  It is long gone now.  The building, that summer, those size 7 jeans.  Anyway, there was the guy I was living with, went by the name of Uncle Drug.  On this particular night, it was my night off, we ended up at Mickey's with another couple.  Time has removed their names, I'll just call them the nurse and the moron.  Keep in mind I am not a needle freak, but the other 3 are.  It's not part of this story, but it explains why I am calling the nurse's husband a moron.  The nurse almost lost her job and resorted to shooting up between her toes to hide the tracks.  The moron lost his business a little at a time.  He sold shares to his partner for money for drugs.  Uncle Drug was a Marine who had been to 'Nam, this will come into the story later.  

It was a busy night, even though it wasn't Friday.  I was talking with the moron at the bar getting another round.  Uncle Drug was talking with the nurse across the room.  The moron and I came to the conclusion that men that have hooked up by closing time never start bar fights, it is the guys who are going home alone that start the fights.  Uncle Drug and the nurse were walking towards the other room when some idiot tried to grab her to hit on her. Uncle Drug brushed him aside.  That's about the time I see a beer bottle hit Uncle Drug in the back of the head.  He wasn't even phased, he just turned around as if someone had tapped him on the shoulder.  I didn't realise until later that he had actually been hit on the back of the head or that the bottle broke.  I didn't realise until later that his training kicked in and he stuck his thumb in the guy's eye.

Well, from there things went fast, with tables and chairs flying and everyone ending up outside.  It was just the 2 guys rolling around on the ground, punching each other now and then.  This was one of those times I wished the guy with the nose was there.  The guy who was always in a suit.  Him and that really big guy that was always with him.  Funny, later that summer when everyone seemed to be getting busted for drug offenses, he stopped wearing a suit and I usually saw him in paint splattered overalls.  I never learned what happened to the big guy, I think he went back to Florida.  

Uncle Drug was on the bottom for most of the time, but ended up with just a few scratches from rolling around on the gravel and a few cuts on the back of his head from the broken glass.  The next day, he couldn't remember much of what happened after the bottle broke on his head.  When he went to the bar people were surprised to see him in such good shape, he didn't look like he had been in a fight.  The other guy had been in earlier and well, for one thing his eye was swollen shut.  That's when Uncle Drug realised he must have jammed his thumb in it out of reflex, The other thing is, the other guy generally looked like he had been beat up.  

The moral of the story is, if you hook up before closing time, go home and get laid.  Those unlucky fuckers are going to be out to get you.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

"Fazed".

Unless he happens to be an electric motor.

[East Coast Hustle]

read and scored.