REAL DISCORDIANS

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

What in the hell is wrong with you? I,Äôm SERIOUS, I mean YOU, ya freaking pathetic excuse for a Discordian! You,Äôve READ all the books about memes and programming and imprinting. You KNOW how quickly our brains can go on autopilot. You,Äôve done the experiments and realized how easily our minds can be tricked into confusing IDEAS and TRUTHS. Dear Goddess, you,Äôve mind fucked with the best of them and somehow, in some BIZARRE twist of neurology, your ROBOT still goes rampaging across your consciousness!!!

I understand it can be difficult to KEEP THE ROBOT IN LINE. We all screw up and act like COSMIC SCHMUCKS sometimes, but when was the last time you looked at your actions, beliefs or opinions and said ,ÄúBy the Black VOID Itself, I,Äôm being a Goddess-Damned Cosmic Schmuck,Äù? If you haven,Äôt thought that in awhile, STOP whatever you,Äôre doing and look closely at YOUR current STATE of BEING. Look at that rant you just typed. What about when you blasted that n00b from here to the Void because they just discovered ,Äò42,Äô and you THINK its old hat? OR that piece of shit explanation about the Significance of 23 plastered all over your ,Äòmainstream, gadget filled, looks as crappy as every other,Äô MySpace account? Have you really not figured out that 23 is just another example of robotic PROGRAMMING? Don,Äôt tell me that Twenty-Three actually has some OCCULT significance and DO NOT even think of saying that it,Äôs true because RAW said so. RAW said a lot of things and most of them were intended to fuck with your BRAIN. He was a Discordian, they do that.

While I,Äôm ranting, what the FUCK do you think you,Äôre doing trying to tie some MORALITY, ETHICS or other LIBERAL PC bullshit to Our Lady of Chaos? If you want to INTERPRET it that way for yourself, be my guest,Ķ I,Äôll even defend your right to believe such NONSENSE. But, if you tell me that all REAL Discordians accept Chaos and are thus mirthful and NEVER MEAN and always ACCEPTING of others, I,Äôll be more than happy to drop you into Baghdad, wearing an American flag and a caricature mask of Mohammad. I,Äôll bet there will be RAINBOWS and CANDY while you,Äôre having fun in that Chaos, punk. If you don,Äôt get the fact that Chaos can be positive, negative, fun and silly, or scary as hell,Ķ then, your robot has RUN OFF WITH YOUR SENSES, go find it, beat it into submission and come back.

Do you think that Eris is always the happy, hippy, friendly Lady that shows up in the PD? Go do some homework boy-o. Eris has been known to ride on the back of Ares chariot, laughing at the chaos of War, LAUGHING while men kill men and while other men, sitting safe in their strongholds, send yet more young men to their deaths. Don,Äôt get me wrong, she,Äôs as likely to show up to a War PROTEST as she is to a BATTLEFIELD, especially if the War Protest will cause more UNREST, more confusion and more chaos here at home. You think that because she said pretty words to Mal-2 and Omar that she MEANT it? Go read the Sermon on Ethics and Love, I,Äôll wait,Ķ.

Now, where did Eris endorse PEACE? Did she ever say ,ÄúDon,Äôt fight?,Äù Hell NO, in fact, when Mal-2 was so upset about the whole problem of WAR, she asked ,ÄúWhat is wrong with that, if it,Äôs what YOU want to do?,Äù Mal-2 was the one that wanted peace and love, not Eris,Ķ She just wanted people to do what they WANTED to do.

Don,Äôt get me wrong, I,Äôm not telling you to like the War. I,Äôm not telling you to cease your protests, your activism, your FNORDFESTS, documentation of the 23 Enigma or any other endeavor you want to engage in. I do not want you to STOP, I want you to realize that its ALL play,Ķ 23 is play, Fnord is play, Life is the FUCKING ART of Playing Games. YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO, but realize that every other Discordian is also free to DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO, they can order things or disorder things. If a Discordian wants to embrace Dada, then SHUT the fuck up about it not really being the Discordian thing to do. If a Discordian rants about the idiotic beliefs of other religions, or doesn,Äôt make nice in the world of political correctness, then SHUT THE FUCK up with your BS about REAL DISCORDIANS WANTING Peace and Love. Every Man, Woman and Child is an Infallible POPE of the Discordian Movement, from the Cabal you pal around with to the most infuriating Erisian on *insert website here*. Whatever the hell Discordia means to you, is great for you. Don,Äôt try to IMPOSE it on everyone else though, ya goddamned monkeys!

And thus saying, Ratatosk went off to see if perhaps some Robotic Program might have caused him to write this RANT.

[Suu]

This rant has just given me the vision of a groovy Eris. And I don't like it. 

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

This rant has just given me the vision of a groovy Eris. And I don't like it. 

I am not responsible for your visions.

[hunter s.durden]

I want to impose my views.

[Cramulus]

Hail Yes
Hail Eris
and Hail No I Won't Go




someone's attacking tribal circuitry ITT

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

I want to impose my views.

As long as you don't demand that they are the REALLY REAL views of ALL TRUE Discordians... I don't have a problem with that

[PeregrineBF]

All Discordians have views. Well, sometimes. Sort of.

Anyone who thinks that definite, non-statistical things can be said about a religion of chaos is rather silly. We can catalogue commonly held beliefs, we can analyze their probability of occurring and such, but none of us all have the same belief (though there is a probability, however small, that we may hold the same belief for a time, because chaos is like that.)

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

All Discordians have views. Well, sometimes. Sort of.

Anyone who thinks that definite, non-statistical things can be said about a religion of chaos is rather silly. We can catalogue commonly held beliefs, we can analyze their probability of occurring and such, but none of us all have the same belief (though there is a probability, however small, that we may hold the same belief for a time, because chaos is like that.)

Indubitably!

[Suu]

FUCK YOU ALL. MY AUNT DIED OF BEING A REAL DISCORDIAN.

[Darth Cupcake]

I dig the stuff you write, Rat.

I need to do a little digestion on this, but it resonates with me pretty well so far.

[Pope Cornholio Barfmaster]

FUCK YOU ALL. MY AUNT DIED OF BEING A REAL DISCORDIAN.

Poor woman..
My hamster died the same way

[Lies]

I want to impose my views.

As long as you don't demand that they are the REALLY REAL views of ALL TRUE Discordians... I don't have a problem with that

Yeah, thing is, Hunter isn't a discordian, he just thinks we're a good laugh for him and his superior understanding of whatever it is hunter claims to be but won't tell us.

[Cain]

I like this.  Mainly because it aims at everyone, in order to shake them up.

[Darth Cupcake]

I like this.  Mainly because it aims at everyone, in order to shake them up.

Thank you, Cain, for pinning down what felt so satisfying about this post that I couldn't put my finger on.

So, agreed!

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

I like this.  Mainly because it aims at everyone, in order to shake them up.

Well, that was the aim... I guess I need to have more infuriating conference calls at the office