I have a name for that...

[Cain]

This reads like a cross between a Daily Mail editorial and some Horatio Alger bullshit.

[Darth Cupcake]

I am going to, for a moment, interrupt the stream of mittens to say only this:

I get wary when we begin to celebrate too much "BACK IN MY DAY....!" and "BY JOVE WE HAD RULES! WE HAD ORDER! WE HAD DISCIPLINE!"

It is a slippery slope that is easy to get started on. "Why, if those whippersnappers had RULES and DISCIPLINE...!" And then who else needs rules and discipline? Etc.

Not to say that I don't agree that there is some real fuckedupness in some of the behavior of kids/society/lack of personal responsibility. But I get jumpy about these things sometimes.

Anyways, it is no longer between the hours of 9-5 on Monday through Friday, so I don't think I'm even supposed to be here anymore.

[Cainad (dec.)]

While I'm leaving my mittens up, I have to take D-Cup's side on this.

I know there's a pretty strong vibe among people here that modern psychiatry has gone overboard and Big Pharma uses modern beliefs about mental disorders to make money, and I think there are definitely cases where this line of thought is justified.

However, can we agree that lumping everyone with a mental problem into the categories of "Insane" and "Retarded" is a bad idea, as is confinement in Loony Bins and whippings to "straighten 'em out"? Kthx.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

However, can we agree that lumping everyone with a mental problem into the categories of "Insane" and "Retarded" is a bad idea, as is confinement in Loony Bins and whippings to "straighten 'em out"? Kthx.

Actually, I'd just add one more catagory, and call it a day.

Mental problems can also include "Well adjusted people in a terminally ill-adjusted world."

[Cain]

While I'm leaving my mittens up, I have to take D-Cup's side on this.

I know there's a pretty strong vibe among people here that modern psychiatry has gone overboard and Big Pharma uses modern beliefs about mental disorders to make money, and I think there are definitely cases where this line of thought is justified.

However, can we agree that lumping everyone with a mental problem into the categories of "Insane" and "Retarded" is a bad idea, as is confinement in Loony Bins and whippings to "straighten 'em out"? Kthx.

Exactly.  Denying environmental and social factors = exactly the same sort of stupidity that blames everything on environmental and social actors.  It just happens that in the former case it also gives you a good opportunity to wash your hands of the problem entirely and lay it at the feet of people who may not be responsible for their predicament.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I just feel that there needs to be a better balance of social support and personal responsibility.

I'm also dismayed at the direction social support is going in these days, from medical diagnoses to the way schools handle difficult children. I've just known too many cases where schools refuse to give a student the (very simple) accommodations he needs unless he has an official diagnosis. Every kid should be treated as an individual and have their individual needs met wherever possible, regardless of a "diagnosis" that legally mandates accommodation.

I'm not talking about expensive or time-consuming stuff, either; I'm talking about stuff like one kid really needed to sit in the front row so he was in plain sight of the teacher to defray his temptation to get into trouble. Another kid needed to be LEFT THE FUCK ALONE because it makes him severely anxious when attention is directed at him. My son has a hard time finishing his work if other kids talk to him, so he asked to be seated alone at a table in the corner when it's time to do stuff that requires his focus. His teacher was happy to accommodate him, but a substitute refused... and then gave him demerits when he didn't get his work done. He came out of the classroom crying. I wanted to punch that bitch in the face.

KIDS ARE NOT ALL THE SAME.

Anyway, that's a different rant. I just don't think people should HAVE to get diagnosed with, say, ADD so that the people they deal with are forced by law to grant them reasonable accommodations. They also shouldn't use it as an excuse for bad behavior. My son probably qualifies for a diagnosis of ADHD, but I would far rather teach him the creative coping skills that I've learned so that he can take as much responsibility as possible for managing his own behavior, instead of learning to be dependent on other people bringing solutions to him, or blaming poor behavior on ADD.

[Darth Cupcake]

Anyway, that's a different rant. I just don't think people should HAVE to get diagnosed with, say, ADD so that the people they deal with are forced by law to grant them reasonable accommodations. They also shouldn't use it as an excuse for bad behavior. My son probably qualifies for a diagnosis of ADHD, but I would far rather teach him the creative coping skills that I've learned so that he can take as much responsibility as possible for managing his own behavior, instead of learning to be dependent on other people bringing solutions to him, or blaming poor behavior on ADD.

I think you summed it up well right there.

Your son realizes that he can't work as well around others so he takes responsibility by requesting to work alone so he can focus. He took responsibility for himself and his difficulties. It is then up to others to listen to him.

People need to meet each other half way--society shouldn't coddle people with whatever x y or z problem without the person contributing a bit to it, as your son did.

And I 100% think you teaching him creative coping solutions is awesome.  I hate people using ADD as an excuse. While I definitely fervently agree with TGRR about sometimes a problem can be a well-adjusted person in a maladjusted world, that doesn't change the fact that sometimes we have to be able to play the game, push the buttons, etc, to make things happen, so even if it maybe ISN'T YOUR FAULT that the system doesn't work for you, it's still worth the effort to learn to work with the system, because if you can work from the inside, you can generally get a lot done. If you know how it works, if you can play the game, you can also play WITH the game and subvert from the inside out. I am a fan of staying below the radar, manipulating the system for your own benefit as you feel so inclined, and generally changing things by knowing how it works, which means being able to play the game.

Or at least, that is how I see it.