Intermittens #5

[Triple Zero]

because making interesting observations is the entire point of ranting, as your post so clearly demonstrates

I really hate it when people make compound statements that are half-true.

i'll remember that for the next time i want to make a monkey dance.

I would not qualify my post as a "rant," and I don't think any reasonable person would either.  So when you say my post clearly demonstrates the
point of ranting, you're basically just being a fucking dick and mischaracterizing my post so you can set yourself up for a lame put-down.

well, yeah.

that's what you get for acting like you deserve being a dick to

(sorry i'm no native speaker, i couldnt figure out how to fix it, so i hope it doesn't offend you when i do that thing you're not supposed to end a sentence with)

But yes, the point of a rant is to make interesting and humorous observations about the things that annoy us.  It is the interesting observations, the telling truths that make us laugh or smile in recognition, that make a rant worth reading.

please do continue lecturing us about the only proper way to write a good rant worthy of your time.

would you like another semicolon, perchance?

Without interesting observations, the rant becomes sound and fury signifying nothing, it's just some blowhard making a lot of noise about something annoying, which is generally as annoying as whatever they are ranting about.  Take the observation out of Nigel's post, and what's left?  "People talk, it annoys me, I want to hurt them."  Kind of pointless and not particularly interesting to read. Certainly not anything worth publishing.

i disagree with this on the grounds of what LMNO said.

additionally, like Operation:Mindfuck, ranting can also be seen as one of the Discordian holy acts, or religious acts, in a sermon-like context, regarding the expression of strife and discord. In a similar way, a Christian wouldn't whine about a similar sermon that, if he wanted to be really anal about it, could be said to add nothing to some witty phrase by Douglas Adams, apart from a really well expressed message of Christian love (or whatever). Which is why we have a special subforum for messages of Discordian HATE, called "Or Kill Me".

but, being the self-proclaimed smartest person on this forum, you must have already easily come to this conclusion. therefore I must assume you're making these remarks for the sole purpose of being a fucking arrogant piece of slimy crawling puss-infected cholera spray hose tube worm poop that is not even worth forming an opinion about Nigel's discarded toenail clippings LET ALONE HER LITERARY SKILLS.

and hence my previous (and continued) dickishness.

[P3nT4gR4m]

P3nt:

FUCK YUO, MY MOTHER WAS GANGRAPED TO DEATH BY KARL MARX 

[Sheered Völva]

P3nt:

FUCK YUO, MY MOTHER WAS GANGRAPED TO DEATH BY KARL MARX 

My mother was Karl Marx!


But she got better.

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

On the note of DK's and LMNO's posts, I agree fully with every statement in both (despite the fact that they are totally contradicting each other). However, I should point out that InterMittens has absolutely no requirement to use any particular (or general) criteria (or any criteria at all) to determine the quality and publishing-worthyness of a given thing. I don't know how the rant especially relates to the law of fives, but I'm sure that it can be worked in somehow if you want, and furthermore, it's up to whoever the editor is to determine whether or not it will fit, how to fit it, and whether or not it fits (to hir). I certainly did not agree with or like every single article in the first two IM issues, but they were worth downloading and reading, and I found even the stuff I disliked worth reading.

If you want a counterexample to the idea that things need to be worth publishing to be put into IM, check out the WOMPings of caped unicorns performing fellatio juxtaposed with men in hats yelling ambiguous meat categories intermingled with the text of a rant about politics.

[Jenne]

So, Khara and I are STILL out of idears for this issue. 

And no one has offered any help (that I can find)...so...   (anyone?  anyone?  Buehler?)

Should we put our stuff from the aborted-for-now-4 in here instead?  HELP!  SOS!  QUIT IGNORING ME!  /bawww

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

The speaking as a mother thing?

If you want to tie into the theme, why not go over parenting techniques that relate to recasting? I mean, it's kind of a classic technique. Take the following cliched interactions:

- I don't want my brocolli!
- The kids in <insert third world nation/continent> would be greatful to have broccoli!

- I don't want to goto school!
- You'll make friends in school. Here, you'll just end up hanging around with me all day.

- Why should I learn to cook?
- If you can cook, girls will be more likely to want to marry you.

[Jenne]

The speaking as a mother thing?

If you want to tie into the theme, why not go over parenting techniques that relate to recasting[/img]? I mean, it's kind of a classic technique. Take the following cliched interactions:

- I don't want my brocolli!
- The kids in <insert third world nation/continent> would be greatful to have broccoli!

- I don't want to goto school!
- You'll make friends in school. Here, you'll just end up hanging around with me all day.

- Why should I learn to cook?
- If you can cook, girls will be more likely to want to marry you.

Ah.  Old Wives' Tales seems to be a good place to start!    Exactly the brain-jog I needed, thanks, Enki!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Srsly, can a mod split this off and throw it in Or Kill Me?

This is a good plan. Put it in the STFU thread, even, because at least it's relevant there.

Done.  Relevant section sent to extract of DK fail in apple talk.

I checked, but if I missed anything and killed a relevant post, let me know and I'll place it back in.

Unless you happen to be DK, in which case you can eat a dick and stop fucking up the actual content boards.  Your childish bullshit will be tolerated in Apple Talk only.  If you fuck up threads here, I - or one of the other mods - will simply bulk move all of your crap, and laugh at the time you have wasted.

[Reginald Ret]

Burns and me are working on something for issue 5, i hope you are still accepting. ETA next time i talk to/hear from Burns + a couple of hours, unless he posts it first or i get inspiration aids.

Its a conspiracy theory revolving around how aliens took over france to force the concept of police on us poor humans.

[hooplala]

Burns and me are working on something for issue 5, i hope you are still accepting. ETA next time i talk to/hear from Burns + a couple of hours, unless he posts it first or i get inspiration aids.

Its a conspiracy theory revolving around how aliens took over france to force the concept of police on us poor humans.

Still accepting.

[hooplala]

Scratch that - not interested in participating anymore.

Someone else can handle issue 5.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Heeeeere's Spaggy!
  \


I'll see if I can hack something together.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Not including the cover and table of contents, I have about 10 pages poomped out.

So far I have included:

"Message From the SSOOKN Regarding the Law of Fives" by LMNO
"The Rich Eat First" by Sepia/brennschluss
"Law of Fives Kabalistic Numeral Madgiiiqckue" by Telarus
"Argyle" by The Dreadful Hours
"You Are All Equal" by Thurnez Isa
"DO Take This Personal" by RWHN
"Shut The Fuck Up" by Nigel

along with "Letters to the Editor" about Issue #4 (by various people), a scattering of memebombs, pictures, and stupid stuff.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

That sounds kick-ass!

[Telarus]

YES IT DOES!