Financial fuckery thread

[BabylonHoruv]

Lemme check that SEO list of "catchy headline formats"

how about "Why are bankers arming themselves to defend from *** ?" <--- need a good phrase there. but the idea is by asking why, you step past the question whether they are or not.

"Are bankers arming themselves to defend against us?"

[Cain]

I can't wait until a bank hires Blackwater to defend its upper management.

It will be like a perfect storm of entitled fuckups who should be in jail.

[Cain]

http://www.zerohedge.com/article/grayson-rips-bernanke-over-latest-aig-bailout-insinuates-attempted-irs-fraud-grossly-illegal

Is AIG attempting fraud on the IRS?  Alan Grayson thinks so.

http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/economics/article6945979.ece

UK government runs out of the imaginary money it magics out of thin air

http://www.pivotcapital.com/research.html

Is China's spending bubble about to collapse?  Looks possible.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/225781

Surprise!  Goldman Sachs wrote 9 pages of proposed changes to derivatives legislation.

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/InfectiousGreed/~3/PYP6oMSVjG0/the_trouble_wit_61.html

And Paul Kedrosky has written a haiku about the financial crisis:

AIG bankrupt;
your taxes gone to Greenwich;
no one hears your screams

[Cain]

http://www.ajc.com/business/house-scales-back-proposed-236793.html

WASHINGTON — House Democrats head into the final stretch on a long-awaited Wall Street regulation bill with two crucial and contentious votes looming before they can declare victory on one of President Barack Obama's legislative priorities.

The sweeping regulatory overhaul aims to address the myriad conditions that led to last year's financial crisis.

Test votes during two days of debate indicate that Democratic support for the underlying legislation will hold in final passage. Prodded by moderates, however, nearly half the Democrats teamed up with Republicans late Thursday to loosen restrictions on derivatives and reject tougher regulations.

[...]

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce has been an aggressive opponent of the legislation, running television ads against the proposed consumer agency and pressuring lawmakers to vote to eliminate it and to ease the derivatives regulations.

The legislation still imposes restrictions on derivatives, aiming to prevent manipulation in and bring transparency to a $600 trillion global market. An amendment by New York Democrat Scott Murphy, adopted 304-124 Thursday night, exempted businesses that trade in derivatives, not as financial speculators, but to hedge against market fluctuations such as currency rates or gasoline prices. The amendment also provided an exception for businesses that are not considered too big to be a risk to the financial system.

A Democratic effort to make more companies subject to derivatives regulation failed 279-150.

Let's party like its 1999!

[Elder Iptuous]

Not entirely related, in that its an anecdote about a personal experience posted on another board rather than a story about the fuckers in charge at the banks, but funny none the less...

Have a friend that is having some problems right now. He was laid off from his job and is on unemployment.

As are most he lives paycheck to paycheck and has a significant amount of consumer debt. He lacks the ability to pay anything other than his mortgage. Has not made any payments on credit cards for about 3 months now.

Capital One called him today and as usual he gave them the story of his inability to make any payments at this time. Caller asked him to hold for a supervisor. Turns out the supervisor was basically a solution provider.

They started out by suggesting he work with his utility company to get on a hardship plan and try reworking some auto loans. Supposedly, this was to free up other obligations so he could pay Capital One a little bit to keep his accounts from going to charge off status.

This is where it gets good. The next thing the lady from Capital One asked was if he was in good health. He responded with a yes. She then suggested that he could sell blood to a plasma bank and for that he would be able to get $200 a month by doing that on a regular basis and that would help him to get back on track.

I couldn't believe it when he told me that. He has assured me that it is 100% accurate as to how the whole thing went down.

By the way, I advised him to just ignore all requests for payment and let them go to collections as their is not much else he can do. If he gets back on his feet maybe he can rework something then.

Has anybody here heard that these credit card companies are actually doing this as a common practice?

perhaps a red flag should have come up when his loan officer introduced himself as Shylock! 

[Cain]

Wow.

How long before they accept organ donations?  I'm giving it a year.  I reckon if I sell a kidney and part of my liver, I could probably pay off all my student debt.

[Elder Iptuous]

another tertiarily related note:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/suffolk/8410453.stm
Guy with a Whack-a-mole game in his Suffolk arcade turns it into a whack-a-banker game. proves to be popular....
this should be done with realistic bankers images and every so often one should pop up with a little pistol in his hand and if you whack it, receive a penalty.  some mention of prole uprising should be mentioned.

[Cain]

Six months and a couple of geeks and you could easily rewrite that Kill George W Bush Game that Al-Qaeda put out (seriously, look it up) with bankers, and set it in New York and London instead of Iraq.

[Cain]

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601039&sid=a48c8UpUMxKQ

[Barney Frank's bill, H.R. 4173] supports the biggest banks. It authorizes Federal Reserve banks to provide as much as $4 trillion in emergency funding the next time Wall Street crashes. So much for "no-more-bailouts" talk. That is more than twice what the Fed pumped into markets this time around.

Best of all, the bill contains a provision that, in the event of another government request for emergency aid to prop up the financial system, debate in Congress be limited to just 10 hours.

The next crisis is around the corner, and this is the financial equivalent of buying a Honda full of silver and an AK-47.  Someone is going to be left footing the bill, but it sure as hell aint going to be the biggest banks and financial service providers.

[Elder Iptuous]

Commas and Zeros
commas and zeros
they casually slip in orders of magnitude while we are still reeling from the shock of innumeracy brought on by the previous insult to us.

It works. i fail to be shocked by this newsbit.
in the midst of the last crisis the rally cry was denial, only after the delta minuses started looking around and saying that we're fucked did they let slip to term "recession", then they screamed economic doom if we don't polish the crooks knobs.
rinse, repeat.
green shoots.
saved the day.
pat on the back, Geithner.
anyone who's following this shit knows that we've got another lump coming up, looking significantly larger than the last.  So now they lay the groundwork for more shock doctrine robbery... 

Jesus christ...
i gotta step up the preps.

[Cain]

The only reason America hasn't already flamed out is because the rest of the world is doing its best to stop an American collapse. If you do a comparison between the US economy now and the Argentinian economy before the crash, Argentina was actually performing better.  I think just the other day, the US suggested China buy more US dollar reserves and China said it had bought everything it could find. 

Speaking of which, funny how just a day or two after that, a report came out blaming China for the global economic crisis.

[Elder Iptuous]

heh... yeppa.
the Argentine peso wasn't the worlds reserve currency, so it collapsed unsupported.
We can export our inflation, though, so the rest of the world has to suck down our incompetence and hubris until they are full up before we collapse. (which doesn't look too far off)
Regional currencies are on the rise, and central banks are buying gold like its vaporizing despite the record prices. 

[Elder Iptuous]

Cain,
Curious what you think.  A member at my other pet forum posted this:

To foretell the future, think like a banker
________________________________________
To extort the maximum value from a population, when one has control of monetary system, leverage the laws of supply and demand. Use deflation, inflation, and hyperinflation all as tools to transfer wealth. All have a place and a purpose.

The banker's guide to owning it all
1.   Become majority lender in an economy of people with assets you want.
2.   Encourage indebtedness by loaning generously while securing on assets of interest.
3.   Loosen lending standards until the assets you seek to capture are attached.
(this makes the economy debt dependent)
4.   Once debts are significant for the bulk of the population, sharply tighten lending standards. <-- Economic shock - Onset of deflation
5.   Backstop losses with public guarantees if possible. This is gravy if one can get it.
(Fannie and Freddie guarantees, for example)
6.   Permit default 'without risk' on the assets you wish to sieze to maximize wealth transfer.
(stall foreclosure, stay repossession orders etc)
7.   Stall the economy to maximize default positions and deplete private liquidity. <-- We are here
8.   Successively ratchet the economy downhill, while bettering secured positions.
9.   In a series of large actions, sieze all security for default. Target the assets of greatest interest first.
(This deals a heavy economic blow and can help cause the ratcheting required for step 8.)
10.   Transfer asset ownership, but retain prior owners as renters where possible.
(This reduces public lashback and helps maintain the asset for resale)
11.   Once the bulk of assets of transferred, write them down to leverage the public financial backstop.
12.   Buy up as many remaining assets on the cheap as possible. Hide this action.
13.   Hyperinflate to destroy the external claims on wealth. <-- Onset of hyperinflation
(This destroys treasuries, gov't bonds, currency. Ensures free title on new assets. May cause war.)
14.   Stabilize the currency or devise a new one, resume lending at a reasonable pace. Sell the assets back, secured of course, at your chosen price in new currency.

Hyperinflation is only a risk to the wealthy if the population has the assets.
Make note of that statement. It is key to timing the shift from deflation to hyperinflation.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------



It echos a quote that is a favorite of that forum:

Thomas Jefferson;

I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around [the banks] will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered. The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people, to whom

[Cain]

9 is actually starting to happen, to a degree.

Overall, while I am not an economist, politically it makes perfect sense.  I'm not sure about the curreny destruction part, but the rest all seems plausible enough.

[Elder Iptuous]

What large security grabs have you seen?
i think we haven't seen anything yet.  just a trickle.  Commercial real estate and second wave of residential real estate crapout is going to hit this year...
there will be big grabs then maybe...

incidentally, if you want to take a good position in this ride, one should clear any secured debt and build up a cash position in anticipation of step 12 or so, when things are bargain basement.
better we buy them than the bankers....