Nopants the Monk Explains Destiny

[Remington]

Nopants the Monk explains Destiny:


One day, a young man set out to understand the mystery of destiny. He went to visit many wise men, but none of them could answer his questions. So it continued, until the day he visited the Discordian monk Nopants.

"Master," the young man said, "Can you tell me the mysteries of destiny?"

Nopants smiled. "Destiny, you say?" The elderly monk stood up and brushed the dirt from his knees. He pointed up, at one of the many leaves that hung above his head. "What is this leaf's destiny?"

The young man looked at it. It was a broad, strong leaf, vibrantly green with life. He thought for a few moments, before saying: "To provide food for the tree that bears it, and to shade any who might come under it."

Nopants nodded approvingly. Reaching up, he plucked the leaf and twirled it in his fingers. Then suddenly, to the young man's horror, Nopants dropped his pants, reached around, and began to wipe his ass with the leaf vigorously. The man could only watch in ever-growing shock as the monk continued to desecrate the beautiful leaf, using it as he would a normal piece of toilet paper. When he was finished, Nopants tossed the leaf to the ground with an irreverent flick of his wrist.

"You were right," Nopants said, "That leaf's destiny was to live quietly and peacefully." He pointed down at the leaf. "But what good has it's destiny done it? Look at it now. It lies crumpled and broken on the ground, covered in someone else's shit. Such is the way of the world."

And the young man was enlightened.

[Remington]

Nopants the Monk explains Enlightenment:



One day, Nopants the monk was visited by a young Discordian scholar, who had come seeking his counsel.

"Master," the scholar said, "I am uncertain, and I had hoped that you could help me." The young man described all of the Discordian works he had read, such as the Principia, the Illuminatus Trilogy, and the Black Iron Prison. He told tales of the Popes he had learned from, and the many thousands of people he had mindfucked. He continued in this manner for half an hour, explaining how he had done everything a proper young Discordian should do.

"But Master," the young scholar said at the end of the half hour, "You must tell me this, for I am uncertain: Am I enlightened?"

Nopants smiled sadly. "My son," he said, "Enlightenment is like virginity. If you have to ask, the answer is no."

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I don't get it.

[Remington]

It's based on a little story in the BIP that I liked...
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/bip/8.php

First one is about how the idea of destiny is either bullshit or meaningless, second one is a one-liner with context.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Huh?

[the last yatto]

picture him as mal3 and it makes sense

[Remington]

Should I have posted this in "Think for yourself, Schmuck" instead?

[the last yatto]

i would have hijacked a BIP topic or bumped an old one myself

[the last yatto]

i mean dont start a topic, if theres one you can borrow. the first post in a topic theres soo much pressure to do this or that

[the last yatto]

i mean the fucking hoops these spags have around have, 

[the last yatto]

and their high horses

[Captain Utopia]

The first one seems to be a riff on the uncertainty of destiny. That the student was wrong in his assumptions. That the student was responsible for the destiny of the leaf by asking the question of the master. I don't see much more in it though I did find it a little amusing.

The second one I think suffers from "virginity" jokes being not terribly funny in general. Personally, I'd go for a last line something like "You tell me", which isn't resolvable as true or false in any sense as its meaning is suitably ambiguous. Unless you do think you have an insight into enlightenment, in which case I'll see you in the first principles thread

[Cramulus]

honest mode
because good writing always needs revision
and good revision demands honest feedback

the moral of Nopants the Monk explains Enlightenment seems to read: there is no proper way to be a discordian
     which isn't terribly original

the moral of the second one seems to be: when you're enlightened, you know it
      there aren't a lot of zen stories where the master answers the monk's question directly like that

the moral of a story is a great place for a meme bomb
but this one is a little weak

I find it a little straightforward.

[the last yatto]

waiting for a street light?

[Remington]

honest mode
because good writing always needs revision
and good revision demands honest feedback

the moral of Nopants the Monk explains Enlightenment seems to read: there is no proper way to be a discordian
     which isn't terribly original

the moral of the second one seems to be: when you're enlightened, you know it
      there aren't a lot of zen stories where the master answers the monk's question directly like that

the moral of a story is a great place for a meme bomb
but this one is a little weak

I find it a little straightforward.

Well, honest feedback is always good, I appreciate it
I haven't taken too much of a look at PD's Discordian philosophy side, I'm still digesting the Principia itself... this one was kind of experimental. The moral of the 1st one was supposed to be that the idea of a pre-ordained destiny is bullcrap, because some asshole can come along and mess it up very easily.