Sarah Palin on God's cleverness

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I  love liver, when it's prepared well.

[Kurt Christ]

Livers are too gross for me- not anything to do with the taste or texture, it's just that thinking about the function of livers makes me kind of disgusted while eating.

[Cain]

A review of Sarah Palin's book that is doing the rounds on the internet:

First let me say, great blog! Second, let me say I wish I had read it first before buying this book.

I stood in line to get my copy of this book from the local bookstore fearing it might be sold out early. Hot chick on the cover, so far so good. Then I opened it and started reading.

To my chagrin it didn't start out well. I thought well at some point this has to get better. But guess what it doesn't! There's nothing at all about dex rolls, dps builds, searching for traps, sneak attacks, assassins, +4 daggers or anything!

All it is some woman whining about how everyone in her party wouldn't let her make any decisions, about how something called a Couric made her look like a complete idiot (I couldn't find it in the monster manual but, I'm guessing it must be like a Sphinx), and how her group leader McCain wouldn't let her be rogue enough.

Well, I don't even know where to start addressing this stuff. She doesn't even have any daggers! I mean, that's hardly the group leader's fault! She should have loaded out before the quest started!

Plus, on every single page she bemoans her 8 INT build and blames her horrible playing on everyone else! It's her fault for putting all her stat points into Charisma!

To sum up, this book is terrible. It's anti-rogue if anything. If you want a book on how not to be a rogue this has got to be the bible.

I'm going back to the store now to see if I can get my hard earned cash back for this awful drek.

Even Oklahoma readers are making fun of Palin:

Sarah Palin will visit Norman next month for a book signing at Hastings.

"She wanted to come into smaller towns," Hastings store manager Rob Wood said, adding that Norman will be Palin's only Oklahoma stop on her book tour.

The former vice-presidential hopeful and governor of Alaska will sign copies of her memoir, "Going Rogue: An American Life," which hits shelves Tuesday. The event will be 7 p.m. Dec. 3. at Hastings Books, 2300 W. Main St.

[...]

"Basically how it's working is they have to purchase their book from the store," he said. Customers can buy their books from Hastings in advance and bring them to be signed as long as they bring their Hastings receipt. Wood said he expects many people to purchase more than one book to have Palin sign and then send to family members.

"It's going to be a massive event," he said. Crowd control measures will be in place, he said, but as this was recently finalized he didn't know yet exactly what those would be.

"There's obviously gonna be people protesting, there's gonna be people against and for her," Wood said.

Norman resident Mark Campbell said he was thrilled to find out Palin would make a stop in Norman.

"I'm tickled that she's coming," he said. "And Hastings has a wonderful magazine selection for her to choose from," he added in reference to Palin's Katie Couric interview.

This book almost certainly sinks any chance of a 2012 run.  It is AWESOME.

[Iason Ouabache]

A review of Sarah Palin's book that is doing the rounds on the internet:

First let me say, great blog! Second, let me say I wish I had read it first before buying this book.

I stood in line to get my copy of this book from the local bookstore fearing it might be sold out early. Hot chick on the cover, so far so good. Then I opened it and started reading.

To my chagrin it didn't start out well. I thought well at some point this has to get better. But guess what it doesn't! There's nothing at all about dex rolls, dps builds, searching for traps, sneak attacks, assassins, +4 daggers or anything!

All it is some woman whining about how everyone in her party wouldn't let her make any decisions, about how something called a Couric made her look like a complete idiot (I couldn't find it in the monster manual but, I'm guessing it must be like a Sphinx), and how her group leader McCain wouldn't let her be rogue enough.

Well, I don't even know where to start addressing this stuff. She doesn't even have any daggers! I mean, that's hardly the group leader's fault! She should have loaded out before the quest started!

Plus, on every single page she bemoans her 8 INT build and blames her horrible playing on everyone else! It's her fault for putting all her stat points into Charisma!

To sum up, this book is terrible. It's anti-rogue if anything. If you want a book on how not to be a rogue this has got to be the bible.

I'm going back to the store now to see if I can get my hard earned cash back for this awful drek.

 And remember that you can't spell paladin without Palin.

[LMNO]

Incidentally, a challenge for Cain.

[Cain]

Answered in thread.

Another review of Going Rogue http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/WhiskeyFire/~3/5imoxQuEINY/return-after-reading.html

The most unbelievable thing about Going Rogue, by the author-function "Sarah Palin," is that it's supposed to be self-serving. The problem a self-serving narrative about Sarah Palin confronts is that it's about Sarah Palin, whose entire life, it appears, consists of worse and worse attempts to create self-serving narratives explaining away bigger and bigger fuck-ups. Going Rogue's burden is that it must claim to be the definitive, encyclopedic explanation, the final excuse, for a long history of failure begat by failure; it's an epic of failure, if you will, and if the goal here is some kind of ultimate vindication, well, it is monumentally unsuccessful. Going Rogue is, at bottom, the story of every one of Sarah Palin's projects ending in grotesque catastrophe; it is only self-serving in the sense that these catastrophes either prove benign or turn out to be some other schlub's fault. If everything I knew about Sarah Palin came from this book (and basically it does), I would say her life has been like a play in which a deus-ex-machina descends at the end of every act to bestow peace and harmony, except the deus forgot to put on pants and everyone's just standing around going "uhhhh..." and then the lights go out and the scene changes.

When Palin wraps up her tenure as Wasilla mayor, everyone she knows hates her, and she's jobless. Then she gets a job! But then she quits. When she completes her first annual budget as Governor, she alienates the entire Alaska legislature because some "legislative director" forgot to send a letter explaining her "funding criteria" to the legislators. Then a budget passes! And the legislature still hates her. At the end of her pregnancy with Trig, she "confessed to Todd that [she] may not have handled the whole pregnancy announcement thing right." Not to mention the whole delivery thing. But then of course Trig is delivered safely into the cruel cruel world of moose chili and having your image "desecrated" on the internet. Over and over again Palin lives this story of confounding and infuriating everyone around her, generating whole collective atmospheres of absurd malevolence and malevolent absurdity. And then everything just gets resolved. How? I don't know--it's a mystery! But maybe it's the magic of NO ABORTIONS EVER???

Finally, in the "Going Rogue" chapter, the intermittent (and increasingly frequent) cracklings of bald absurdity and maximum roguishness just break through the signal of normalcy once and for all, setting in for the entire period between August 29 and November 4, 2008. In theory this is the part that people read the book for, but as I came to this point my desire to continue was tempered by my desire to light myself on fire. The only benefit I got from this section was that it reminded me just how asinine the McCain campaign was. (Remember when Palin's Yahoo account was hacked?) One big reveal: Steve Schmidt apparently thought Palin's brain wasn't getting enough carbohydrates to function properly, which is why we've been hearing Palin complain about being told what to eat. Palin relates on page 285:

He then launched into a discussion of nutrition physiology, holding forth on the importance of carbohydrates to cognitive connections and blah-blah-blah.

And in one sublime sentence, an agglomeration of comedy gold on the scale of Scrooge McDuck's money bin, in which Palin says Steve Schmidt is a dick for suggesting she can't make cognitive connections while making a cognitive connection with "blah-blah-blah," we discern the yawning abyss of stupid through which Sarah Palin stumbles as she fails at everything, I can't take any more, the end.

[LMNO]

Wow.  That was awesome. 

[LMNO]

An extract from "Going Rogue", Sarah Palin's "biography":

If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?

Given John Cleese believes Sarah Palin may be a malfunctioning Monty Python experiment gotten loose, it seems plausible she would also steal his joke.

Incidentally, someone on NPR just pointed out that, using the above logic, humans are "made of meat" as well...

[Cain]

Oh yes, that has been mentioned a lot.

Well, it can't rain moose chilli every day....

[LMNO]

IT'S RAINING MOOSE!  HALLELUIAH!
  \

[Telarus]

 

[Brotep]

 

Do you guys remember the recurring Tonight Show segment with William Shatner reciting Palin like a beat poet?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mF_t1A8LGzg

[Iason Ouabache]

Palin just flip-flopped on climate change, saying

"Copenhgen=arrogance of man2think we can change nature's ways.MUST b good stewards of God's earth,but arrogant&naive2say man overpwers nature"

A bit ironic for someone from Alaska saying that man can't "overpwer" nature. Then again, she might not have been there during Exxon Valdez.

[Cain]

If "not wanting to live on a dying planet where the final days will be marked by resource wars that will make WWII look like a playground scuffle" makes someone arrogant, then yeah, I'm arrogant.

Also, the Iranian President is still smarter than Palin.

[Iason Ouabache]

If "not wanting to live on a dying planet where the final days will be marked by resource wars that will make WWII look like a playground scuffle" makes someone arrogant, then yeah, I'm arrogant.

You are forgetting the fact that Palin wants the Apocalypse to happen soon so Jesus will come in on his White Horse at the last minute to save us all. Yay, Jesus!!!