Renamed: GOD. DAMN. IT.

[Freeky]

So today's agenda sees me going to the child support enforcement office, cuz it'' be quicker than waiting 4-6 weeks, and is only 25 bucks.

I'm debating going to the courts and putting in an application for custoday as well, because when the shit hits the fan the ex is gonna go ballistic and probably not let me see the monkey.

How is he gonna do that?  He can't even manage the kid on the weekends he agreed to.  

Remember what his ex did to him? Took off with the kids for two years, he didn't know if they were alive or dead. That's one of the reasons I believe him, I think he wants to make someone else suffer for what that twat did to him and his kids.

He's already propositioned two friends to take him, and pay them what he ought to give me, just so that I can't say I have him full time. Oh, he might say that it's so I can get a job/work, but that's the upside for him. I don't have him as often, ergo I don't have a valid claim, possibly in his mind. Definitely in mine. And he's MY fucking kid, I don't want to share him if it isn't necessary!

@Jenne: Yeah, I hear you. I asked myself and thought about it, and in the end, I decided that it was possibly the worst thing to do, and not just because I am afraid of the dark, and being outside at night, and being alone in the dark outside at night. Which is what the job basically entails. There was also he could control how many hours I get, so if I did something that pissed him off he could cut me off and then call me an unfit mother, financially at least, he can control what days I work, which considering that my mom has point blank refused to watch him all the time he could use this to his advantage, and a whole host of horrible shit could go down. So I really didn't need to ask. But it gives my mom justification to say that I only go for jobs that I want. :/

[Jenne]

NOTHING wrong with going for the jobs you want.  You tell your mother that that's how people who keep their jobs choose them.  Presumably her helping you is not predicated on you taking any shit-flinging job available, correct?  Otherwise the luxury of staying with her and her husband is nullified and you might as well be on the street.  Especially if she's not offering help with daycare.

The sooner you're out of your mother's clutches, the better.  Best not to put yourself right back into your EX'S clutches in the pursuit of doing so, however.

[Freeky]

According to him, it's either I get my shit together (and what, pray tell, is wrong with me going to school full time and having a roomie or two whilst I get child support?) and get a job or I can move back in with him, or he gets custody.   

[Jenne]

No no no, he can't dictate shit to you like that.  Blow raspberries in his face when he does that to you.  He's talking out of his ass.  Complete and utter lies, being used to force you to do something his way.   Tell him to talk to your hand and that emotional blackmail is not going to work here.

Or, just tell him the batcave called and wants its guano back.

[Freeky]

No no no, he can't dictate shit to you like that.  Blow raspberries in his face when he does that to you.  He's talking out of his ass.  Complete and utter lies, being used to force you to do something his way.   Tell him to talk to your hand and that emotional blackmail is not going to work here.

Or, just tell him the batcave called and wants its guano back.

HAH! 

I continue to do what I can, but in baby steps. This afternoon didn't go as planned, as apparently I need a case already opened for this stuff at the Child support enforcement office. It's gonna be pretty hard to think of a good reason where he'll give me his social and crap.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

You should try to get some legal aid.
Sometimes they offer free attorneys for this kind of carp
At least they do in this state. Don't know about yours.

[Freeky]

You should try to get some legal aid.
Sometimes they offer free attorneys for this kind of carp
At least they do in this state. Don't know about yours.

They do, but it'll take 4-6 weeks just to get a call for an appointment to come in and fill out the paperwork. I tried that route a few days ago. I'll have to go down to the courthouse myself, I suppose, and get the custody stuff in, at least. I feel that I'd be better off putting in the paperwork before he does, rather than he go after me. I don't really see the difference, but I'll feel better for it.

Where are you, anyway?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So today's agenda sees me going to the child support enforcement office, cuz it'' be quicker than waiting 4-6 weeks, and is only 25 bucks.

I'm debating going to the courts and putting in an application for custoday as well, because when the shit hits the fan the ex is gonna go ballistic and probably not let me see the monkey.

Anyone know if working at the same place he does where he would be my boss is a bad idea?

He can't just take the kid and not let you see him, that's kidnapping.

And no, you should not work for your ex.

Definitely go to the courts and file for custody. If you have had your son the majority of the time until now, your ex doesn't have a chance.

[Freeky]

So today's agenda sees me going to the child support enforcement office, cuz it'' be quicker than waiting 4-6 weeks, and is only 25 bucks.

I'm debating going to the courts and putting in an application for custoday as well, because when the shit hits the fan the ex is gonna go ballistic and probably not let me see the monkey.

Anyone know if working at the same place he does where he would be my boss is a bad idea?

He can't just take the kid and not let you see him, that's kidnapping.

And no, you should not work for your ex.

Definitely go to the courts and file for custody. If you have had your son the majority of the time until now, your ex doesn't have a chance.

In the interest of fairness, I will say this: He tries to see him as often as possible. I think. Originally, I had him one week, ex would watch him most Fridays and Saturdays so I could get to do stuff, I take him Sundays so he can bowl, and then the next week he takes monkey nights. After one go round of this, I get a call that his boss said he can't be doing that, or his paycheck would suffer. I remember typing this out, I think... But since then, I have had to seriously fanagle to get him to take the monkey on weekends, and only one weekend at that, and week nights are spotty at best. He's supposed to get him tomorrow cuz I haven't slept in a week, practically, and also for the next two weekends.

But I still think that him paying our friends to sit during the day during the week is just so that I can't see the monkey as often!!!!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

According to him, it's either I get my shit together (and what, pray tell, is wrong with me going to school full time and having a roomie or two whilst I get child support?) and get a job or I can move back in with him, or he gets custody.   

There is nothing wrong with it, his threats are empty, and taking and pawning off the kid on babysitters just so you don't have him is not going to do him any good in court... and you need to fight it ASAP. You need to go to the welfare office first thing in the morning next chance you get, explain your situation, and see what help is available. It is paramount that you go first thing in the morning because they really do give preference to people who show up early (because it shows they're motivated) and it's equally imperative that you go in person because you can't get much help on the phone. When you're in front of them, they help you. Likewise when you do make it to  the courthouse.

Are you familiar with this website? http://www.singlemomfinancialhelp.com/blog/state-assistance-programs-for-single-mothers/arizona/

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

You should try to get some legal aid.
Sometimes they offer free attorneys for this kind of carp
At least they do in this state. Don't know about yours.

They do, but it'll take 4-6 weeks just to get a call for an appointment to come in and fill out the paperwork. I tried that route a few days ago. I'll have to go down to the courthouse myself, I suppose, and get the custody stuff in, at least. I feel that I'd be better off putting in the paperwork before he does, rather than he go after me. I don't really see the difference, but I'll feel better for it.

Where are you, anyway?

I'm in Florida.
Do what you have to do no matter how long it takes. It's worth it. In the mean time don't sit around waiting. Take Nigel's advice, get your balls rolling. The lady knows what she's talking about.
You wouldn't believe the amount of help that's out there waiting for you. You just have to work to get it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So today's agenda sees me going to the child support enforcement office, cuz it'' be quicker than waiting 4-6 weeks, and is only 25 bucks.

I'm debating going to the courts and putting in an application for custoday as well, because when the shit hits the fan the ex is gonna go ballistic and probably not let me see the monkey.

How is he gonna do that?  He can't even manage the kid on the weekends he agreed to.  

Remember what his ex did to him? Took off with the kids for two years, he didn't know if they were alive or dead. That's one of the reasons I believe him, I think he wants to make someone else suffer for what that twat did to him and his kids.

He's already propositioned two friends to take him, and pay them what he ought to give me, just so that I can't say I have him full time.

1.  Won't work.  Remember what I showed you on the az.gov site? 

2.  He's gonna have lots of friends left if this keeps up.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

No no no, he can't dictate shit to you like that.  Blow raspberries in his face when he does that to you.  He's talking out of his ass.  Complete and utter lies, being used to force you to do something his way.   Tell him to talk to your hand and that emotional blackmail is not going to work here.

Or, just tell him the batcave called and wants its guano back.

HAH! 

I continue to do what I can, but in baby steps. This afternoon didn't go as planned, as apparently I need a case already opened for this stuff at the Child support enforcement office. It's gonna be pretty hard to think of a good reason where he'll give me his social and crap.

Taxes.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

According to him, it's either I get my shit together (and what, pray tell, is wrong with me going to school full time and having a roomie or two whilst I get child support?) and get a job or I can move back in with him, or he gets custody.   

Why the fuck are you listening to him?

[Freeky]

Why the fuck are you listening to him?

I listen to everybody, but not him so much anymore. It didn't bother me as much as the first time, really.

Taxes.

I'll try it.

2.  He's gonna have lots of friends left if this keeps up.

. Right? He won't have much of a gaming group left if this keeps up.