Attn, Nurse Mayhem, I hear this shit every day.

[Doktor Howl]

"Roger, I'm sick of your shit."

Well, I'll have you all know that my shit is prized as a valuable defense commodity.  Sprayed over a tank, it makes the vehicle both shell-proof and immune to infantry assaults.  When applied to infantrymen, it protects them from IEDs.

In some cultures, my shit is collected and kept in special huts.  The tribe possessing the biggest pile of my excrement is the object of every other tribe's envy, and they laugh at the other tribes' puny piles.  Rumors have it that the least of my butt nuggets can be used to dowry off three ugly daughters.

Also, the last time I was constipated was November of 2008, and the economy is still, well, in the crapper.  I have heard that there is a movement - if you'll pardon the expression - to take America off of fiat currency, and put it on the poop standard.

So I trust we'll hear no more complaints when I befoul your toilet to such an extent that the house takes serious structural damage.  Just think of your bathroom as sitting on a gold mine.  And you can always get more cats.

Nobody is sick of my shit.

Okay for now,
Dok

[Elder Iptuous]

Dok, your poop standard is the perfect monetary system!

the GDP as a measure of the monkey behavior of the masses is directly tied to the hate you build up, and therefore the amount of excrement you produce. this then, would be an automatic balance between the monetary base, and the monetary requirement, making unstable deflation and inflation impossible...
As the dollar collapses, your excrement will shine brightly as the obvious choice for our nations finances to rest.

Added to the industrial uses of your poop, i have been convinced to sell my shares of the GLD ETF and instead go long on DOKTRD....

[Jenne]

I think those "sick of your shit" are just missing a great marketing opportunity for industrial waste uh products, uses and services.

With talent like that, this "shit" should not be wasted on mere toilet facilities.  Instead, it should be held aloft as THE material that will shape, change and MOVE the world in ways that the human mind could not POSSIBLY imagine.

Simply put, Rog, your shit is THE SHIT, and should be treated with precious respect, as we are all beholden to its gifts and purposes.



*bows in abeyant supplication*

[Doktor Howl]

I think those "sick of your shit" are just missing a great marketing opportunity for industrial waste uh products, uses and services.

With talent like that, this "shit" should not be wasted on mere toilet facilities.  Instead, it should be held aloft as THE material that will shape, change and MOVE the world in ways that the human mind could not POSSIBLY imagine.

Simply put, Rog, your shit is THE SHIT, and should be treated with precious respect, as we are all beholden to its gifts and purposes.



*bows in abeyant supplication*

When fed the correct diet, my ejecta can also be used to deflect/destroy incoming asteroids.  169% fact.  This is why it is illegal in the state of Arizona for me to eat grits without an order from the governor...They're still pissed about me practicing on Piccachu Peak.

[Doktor Howl]

Dok, your poop standard is the perfect monetary system!

the GDP as a measure of the monkey behavior of the masses is directly tied to the hate you build up, and therefore the amount of excrement you produce. this then, would be an automatic balance between the monetary base, and the monetary requirement, making unstable deflation and inflation impossible...
As the dollar collapses, your excrement will shine brightly as the obvious choice for our nations finances to rest.

Added to the industrial uses of your poop, i have been convinced to sell my shares of the GLD ETF and instead go long on DOKTRD....

Also, you can predict the stock market more accurately by counting the undigested corn, oats, and peanuts in my waste. 

Hey, it can't be worse than what our so-called "economists" do.

[Richter]

My coworkers gave me the same Bs today.

"Do you want anything from Lucky Chinese Kitchen"

"Yes, every doorknob, item of cuttlery, and beer on the premises.  In a canvas duffle."

"Rich, cut the crap."

"Then how the hell am I supposed to havea  good weekend?"

"..."


It is the curse of the exceptional to suffer from the mediocre expectations and hang ups of the prosaic. 
But their enlightenment shall eb compulsory, and Teh Fun brought before them.  Angels get their wings when the moneky stops screaming and starts laughing. 
I owe it to them, I owe i to Science!, and this race as a whole deserves better than it's doing.

[Doktor Howl]

It is the curse of the exceptional to suffer from the mediocre expectations and hang ups of the prosaic. 
But their enlightenment shall eb compulsory, and Teh Fun brought before them.  Angels get their wings when the moneky stops screaming and starts laughing. 

Yes.

and this race as a whole deserves better than it's doing.

Yeah, in the same way I "deserve" a pre-owned Lexus.   

Dok,
Thinks we haven't gotten half the kicking around we deserve.

[Richter]

I never said they'll LIKE getting it.  those that will not allow hteir brains to be banged into shape will get a more literal kicking.  There are standards to uphold.

(No Lexii please.  Something heinously durable with a good supply of spare parts.  No goddamn black box engines or weird palstic cowlings either.  An alternator has no reason tog et dressed up like a dildo.)

[Doktor Howl]

I never said they'll LIKE getting it.  those that will not allow hteir brains to be banged into shape will get a more literal kicking.  There are standards to uphold.

(No Lexii please.  Something heinously durable with a good supply of spare parts.  No goddamn black box engines or weird palstic cowlings either.  An alternator has no reason tog et dressed up like a dildo.)

But you DESERVE a pre-owned Lexus, Richter.  That guy with the sticky voice said so, on the radio.  You and I  DESERVE it.  What you or I did to merit this, however, has not been made clear.

[Richter]

I know the people who drive those.  

Sick fucks want us to prostrate ourselves for a "Luxury" vehicle secondhand so we can marvel at the disreputable stains they'v doen in the back.  A pre -owned Lexus is like getting offered sloppy 3rd's from Reagan and Iacocca.

Edit:  The cubes around me jsut got some compliemntary dissarticulate howling.

[Payne]

I'll tell you what I deserve.

To get crucified in 7 years (at the soonest) and then a few thousand years of obeisance from millions BILLIONS of devoted and loving adherants.

[Doktor Howl]

I know the people who drive those.  

Sick fucks want us to prostrate ourselves for a "Luxury" vehicle secondhand so we can marvel at the disreputable stains they'v doen in the back.  A pre -owned Lexus is like getting offered sloppy 3rd's from Reagan and Iacocca.

Richter, you DESERVE the cast-offs that the rich have already covered in their vile effluents.  There's a message in there, but my head is a little too jumbled to pick it out.

Edit:  The cubes around me jsut got some compliemntary dissarticulate howling.

Good.  It does them good to have their primal fear response triggered occasionally.

[Doktor Howl]

I'll tell you what I deserve.

To get crucified in 7 years (at the soonest) and then a few thousand years of obeisance from millions BILLIONS of devoted and loving adherants.

You need to write more parables, then.  You can't have your message warped by millions if you don't have parables.

[Payne]

I'll tell you what I deserve.

To get crucified in 7 years (at the soonest) and then a few thousand years of obeisance from millions BILLIONS of devoted and loving adherants.

You need to write more parables, then.  You can't have your message warped by millions if you don't have parables.

You see into the heart of the problem, as ever Roger.

More parables it is.

[-Kel-]

note: haven't read the thread yet, but i hope your feeling better. <3