ITT: Pickup Lines

[Dimocritus]

Cram and Kai win this thread.

One that actually worked for me once:

Do you want to go back to my place and play some strip arm wrestling?

[Mangrove]

Your dress looks good on you. But it'd look better on me while I talk about my father and weep openly.

Did you steal that one from Marvin Gaye?

[Cramulus]

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

oh excuse me, I just wanted to jerk off on your shoes.



Do you want to come back to my place and find out why they call me the "potato assassin"?




If it was illegal to grope you with my eyes, I'd be getting banged in prison by now.

[Cramulus]

Do you know karate? Cos damn honey, your body belongs in Karate Kid II.



If you don't wanna have kids with me, then why don't we reenact the erotic civil war?



Would you rather have sex with a pig or a dog? Good, becaues the pig outfit is still at the drycleaner.




Have you ever seen Muppet Treasure Island and would you like to have sex with my couch?



Let's cut to the chase. My testicles emit light.

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

"I'll let you access my mountpoint if you fsck my superblock."

[Cramulus]

Do you want to see my Abraham Lincoln impression and then shoot me in the back?



Don't look now, but the jizz truck is backing up. Beep! .. Beep! .. Beep! That'll be $60.



Is your name really Facial, or is this going to be a happy coincidence?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Two pickup lines that I've used that worked:

"Want to come over and make sandwiches? I mean, watch a movie?"

(when offered a strand of beads) "Do I have to show you my tits? No? Can I anyway?"

[East Coast Hustle]

Worst line I've ever used that worked: "So, you know, if your boyfriend is boring you we could go upstairs and fuck in my friend's mom's room. She has nice sheets."

Worst line I've ever used that didn't: "So...you wanna go halves on a bastard?"

Worst line I've ever heard used by someone else that worked: "Well, I've got another girl on my boat right now but we could go fuck in that boat over there while the crew is busy clearing customs."

Worst line I've ever heard, period: "Hey there, you sure do got a nice shitter!"

[Mangrove]

Worst line I've ever used that worked: "So, you know, if your boyfriend is boring you we could go upstairs and fuck in my friend's mom's room. She has nice sheets."

Worst line I've ever used that didn't: "So...you wanna go halves on a bastard?"

Worst line I've ever heard used by someone else that worked: "Well, I've got another girl on my boat right now but we could go fuck in that boat over there while the crew is busy clearing customs."

Worst line I've ever heard, period: "Hey there, you sure do got a nice shitter!"

Your post failed to address the question as to whether this line worked or not.

[East Coast Hustle]

It did, in a sense.

The girl it was used on was at the bar with me in a supposedly platonic sense. After that creepo laid that line on her, she grabbed me and started making out with me just so he'd get the hint and fuck off. So it worked for me, just not for him.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

this thread made my stomach clench.
then i pooped and laughed.

[East Coast Hustle]

at the same time?

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

"If I told you that you had a beautiful body, were you running through my head? Wait, I fucked that up...

... Hey, wanna buy me a beer?"



"I'm not wearing panties."




...but the most effective line ever is saying, "Hi," and talking to the person like a normal human being.

[Brotep]

 

this whole thread is


I like to use pickup lines on girls I already know. Can't think of anything good atm, but...
Back when I worked food service, this woman at my register asked if I was included with the meal

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

at the same time?

YES!!