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Thought experiment upgrade

Started by P3nT4gR4m, June 05, 2010, 04:31:39 PM

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P3nT4gR4m

Fucked if I know where this belongs (if anywhere) but I've fucking written it now and, goddammit, you fucks are going to read it. Or so help me  :argh!:

The "Infinite Number of Monkeys" thought experiment doesn't even scratch the surface. For one thing it's been proven and we didn't even need an infinite number. All it took was a finite number and a couple of million years. Lo and behold the monkeys evolved and, sure enough, one of them wrote all the works of Shakespeare. His name was even Shakespeare. Spooky huh? The bugger didn't even need a typewriter he scratched it out in ink. With a fucking feather! What's the chances? Well they're not infinite, that's for sure.

You want to know what would happen if you had an infinite number of monkeys? Well, for a kick off, a couple of billion of them would grow perfectly cut diamonds for teeth. They'd feel superior to the couple of billion who only grew rough diamonds for teeth and a war would break out until a couple of billion monkeys who grew Kalashnikovs instead of arms would mobilise a peace-keeping force, eventually forcing all the diamond toothed monkeys into slavery where, guess what? They'd be forced to type out the complete works of William Shakespeare, until their fingers were worn down to bloody stumps

-Yes I really am that bored right now!

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
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Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
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walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Rumckle

Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on June 05, 2010, 04:31:39 PM
Fucked if I know where this belongs (if anywhere) but I've fucking written it now and, goddammit, you fucks are going to read it. Or so help me  :argh!:

The "Infinite Number of Monkeys" thought experiment doesn't even scratch the surface. For one thing it's been proven and we didn't even need an infinite number. All it took was a finite number and a couple of million years. Lo and behold the monkeys evolved and, sure enough, one of them wrote all the works of Shakespeare. His name was even Shakespeare. Spooky huh? The bugger didn't even need a typewriter he scratched it out in ink. With a fucking feather! What's the chances? Well they're not infinite, that's for sure.

You want to know what would happen if you had an infinite number of monkeys? Well, for a kick off, a couple of billion of them would grow perfectly cut diamonds for teeth. They'd feel superior to the couple of billion who only grew rough diamonds for teeth and a war would break out until a couple of billion monkeys who grew Kalashnikovs instead of arms would mobilise a peace-keeping force, eventually forcing all the diamond toothed monkeys into slavery where, guess what? They'd be forced to type out repetitive sitcoms and ideas for reality TV shows, until their fingers were worn down to bloody stumps

-Yes I really am that bored right now!

fixt that for you

Also, wouldn't breeding be rather awkward if you had kalishnikovs instead of arms? Then again, I guess there are some monkeys that are into gun-play.
It's not trolling, it's just satire.