Author Topic: Safeway Chick  (Read 5820 times)

Penumbral

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Safeway Chick
« on: October 06, 2010, 07:30:32 pm »
Today while preparing to make my purchase at the local Safeway I saw a woman who instantly gave me that feeling of irritation and lost hope in humanity. Before me stood an overweight, middle-aged, blond wearing a floral pink button up. The only things she was purchasing were the TV-guide and chocolate chip mint ice cream bars. Already she had her icecream out and was making a loud mess in front of me. She couldn’t even wait until after she bought them. I ignored her attacks. Beside the obese woman things went smoothly at the checkout while I gazed into infinity. Leaving the store I was inspired by chance as it provided that our cars be parked right next to each other. Her large red SUV provided excellent cover as I gagged her. Quickly I tied her hands and pushed her into my trunk. I have had it with complacent ignorance. Tonight she would see what people of intelligence did with there time. Even if it had to be against her will.
I returned home and explained the situation to my roommate. He helped me drag the Safeway chick downstairs as we started into our nightly discussion. She would listen as we rambled almost endlessly about philosophy, politics, or religion. She had too.

---

“No, what I am talking about here is not nihilism. In fact I don’t even believe nihilism exists. But if it did exist it would tell us that life can not have meaning, because meaning can not exist. What I am saying is that there is no inherent subjective meaning to the world or life. However humanity or a human has the ability to create, for themselves, meaning.”

“Ok, but since that meaning is contrived by the individual does that meaning really have bearing on reality?”

“Well absolutely, a person believes something so it affects the way they choose to live, and therefore affects everyone else, if only in a small way. For example, Ayn Rand professed to believe that if a person acted in the way that benefited them most, then they where doing the morally correct thing. If even a few people believed this, it possibly changed their actions and would have an affect on what you call reality.”

“So basically you are preaching solipsism, saying that Ayn had her believes and they are true to her, but they are not an overall moral truth. You are saying there are no moral truths unless a person creates them.”

“The point I was getting at is that life is absurd, and whatever meaning you do find is irrelevant. Even if it is true to you. Even if you create a ‘moral truth’ it is not one outside your own personal existence. Life is just the random happenings of chance and there can be no good or evil unless a person desides something is good or evil, and if a person does deside something is outright evil it does not make that thing evil any further then that persons reach of influence. There is no intrinsic evil.”

“What about inhibiting others freedoms of choice, or their freedom of choosing for themselves what is moral? I know I have heard you say ‘As long as a person doesn’t take away the personal freedoms of others that person can’t be doing anything morally wrong.’ Now you seem to be saying nothing can be morally wrong.”

“I am speaking in terms of metaphysics, as in we are just the random creation of time and probability, and how we exist has no meaning beyond that somehow we do exist. What we do with this knowledge, such as setting up a system or social contract that attempts to stop people from harming each other is a completely different matter.”

“So whats the  point to living?”

“Decidedly nothing. Unless of course you like it, then perhaps that should be enough.”

“What do you think Safeway chick?”

“Well I see a few problems in your logic here. First what Ayn Rand taught as on a metaphysical level was objectivism which goes in line with much of what you said, and really negates none of it. The only reason she brings in ethical egoism is in order to try and deal with the matter of as you said it ‘setting up a system.’ So using her as an example of subjective meaning is a little absurd. However what you guys are talking about does seem to go in line with absurdism more then anything else. To preach absurdism with a passion like you just seemed to is also baffling because what you are saying is nothing truly exists for sure, yet defining that creates an existence of that theory. Which according to you cannot be true overall simply because it is true to you. Whatever really how does any of this mental masturbation accomplish anything worth getting done? Can you please take me home already, I am going to miss my show.”

---

I now have a little green ice cream stain on my carpet from that crazy Safeway chick.

Doktor Howl

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Re: Safeway Chick
« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2010, 07:34:20 pm »
Owned.

 :lulz:
Molon Lube

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Re: Safeway Chick
« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2010, 07:35:24 pm »
 :?


 :horrormirth:

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Re: Safeway Chick
« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2010, 07:45:35 pm »
Fucking YEAH!!!

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Dysfunctional Cunt

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Re: Safeway Chick
« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2010, 07:47:47 pm »
 :lulz:

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Re: Safeway Chick
« Reply #5 on: October 06, 2010, 08:18:59 pm »
Hell yes!  :lulz:

Cramulus

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Re: Safeway Chick
« Reply #6 on: October 07, 2010, 06:28:57 pm »
I really like this  :lulz:

I love how the philosophical discussion feels, how it is the opposite of the impression you gave us of the safeway chick at the beginning. And then she turns out to have her shit together, thereby schooling the narrator for being so judgmental and condescending. She seems to say, "Okay if the only meaning is subjective meaning, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH BEING FAT AND EATING ICE CREAM YOU PRICKS?"

Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

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Re: Safeway Chick
« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2010, 06:43:39 pm »
WIN and MITTENS
- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

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Re: Safeway Chick
« Reply #8 on: October 07, 2010, 06:57:41 pm »
I really like this  :lulz:

I love how the philosophical discussion feels, how it is the opposite of the impression you gave us of the safeway chick at the beginning. And then she turns out to have her shit together, thereby schooling the narrator for being so judgmental and condescending. She seems to say, "Okay if the only meaning is subjective meaning, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH BEING FAT AND EATING ICE CREAM YOU PRICKS?"

Also the idea that, "you're sitting around judging me because I eat ice cream and watch TV, all the while, you're sitting around and talking about philosophy and not doing anything productive either."
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Reginald Ret

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Re: Safeway Chick
« Reply #9 on: October 07, 2010, 09:24:02 pm »
Nice!
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

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Re: Safeway Chick
« Reply #10 on: October 07, 2010, 09:32:13 pm »
I feel like this piece needs, in a big bad way, to become an anchor piece in the next Discordian volume that gets produced, if Penumbral is willing. It's fucking excellent and addresses  the intellectual elitism trap SO WELL.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Penumbral

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Re: Safeway Chick
« Reply #11 on: October 08, 2010, 04:27:16 am »
I feel like this piece needs, in a big bad way, to become an anchor piece in the next Discordian volume that gets produced, if Penumbral is willing. It's fucking excellent and addresses  the intellectual elitism trap SO WELL.

I would be honored. If this is to be published though I would want some forewarning so I could do a little clean up.

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Re: Safeway Chick
« Reply #12 on: October 08, 2010, 05:14:13 am »
Quite excellent.

:mittens:
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Re: Safeway Chick
« Reply #13 on: October 08, 2010, 05:56:35 am »
:mittens:

premium quality discordian meats, ITT.
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Doktor Howl

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Re: Safeway Chick
« Reply #14 on: October 08, 2010, 02:01:47 pm »
I feel like this piece needs, in a big bad way, to become an anchor piece in the next Discordian volume that gets produced, if Penumbral is willing. It's fucking excellent and addresses  the intellectual elitism trap SO WELL.

I would be honored. If this is to be published though I would want some forewarning so I could do a little clean up.

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