Man faces charges for having sex with picnic table

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

The umbrella stand hole seems like a painful choice to me.

I think it said it was metal. If it were wood, certainly not a great choice.

Ummm... Metal sounds no more inviting than wood!

With wood you can get splinters in your junk.

vs metal scraping off a couple layers of skin?

Either way, that sounds painful.