TGRR's New-Style Discordianism™ Without Eris

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'm sometimes tempted to say "Goddess" when I'd say "oh my god", "thank god", "god knows", etc. in a sense that would fit Eris better than the traditional Christian god or Jesus or such. I usually end up not doing it because I don't want to sound like a Wiccan, yeah. But it shouldn't matter because I'd be using it to add more nuance, instead of trying to sound edgy.

I'd kinda hope most folks on this board would understand it in a similar matter, but I also know where that sort of optimism usually gets me

I KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE THINGS WORSE...

...and I know what takes to put a nigger in a hearse.

Can't not finish!

I'M ON CRACK!

Incidentally, it's "nigga".  Not that it makes any difference.

[Freeky]

I'm sometimes tempted to say "Goddess" when I'd say "oh my god", "thank god", "god knows", etc. in a sense that would fit Eris better than the traditional Christian god or Jesus or such. I usually end up not doing it because I don't want to sound like a Wiccan, yeah. But it shouldn't matter because I'd be using it to add more nuance, instead of trying to sound edgy.

I'd kinda hope most folks on this board would understand it in a similar matter, but I also know where that sort of optimism usually gets me

I KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE THINGS WORSE...

...and I know what takes to put a nigger in a hearse.

Can't not finish!

I'M ON CRACK!

Incidentally, it's "nigga".  Not that it makes any difference.

Break it down.  Break, break, break   break it down.

And now that song is stuck in my head.  Good thing it's awesome.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'm sometimes tempted to say "Goddess" when I'd say "oh my god", "thank god", "god knows", etc. in a sense that would fit Eris better than the traditional Christian god or Jesus or such. I usually end up not doing it because I don't want to sound like a Wiccan, yeah. But it shouldn't matter because I'd be using it to add more nuance, instead of trying to sound edgy.

I'd kinda hope most folks on this board would understand it in a similar matter, but I also know where that sort of optimism usually gets me

I KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE THINGS WORSE...

...and I know what takes to put a nigger in a hearse.

Can't not finish!

I'M ON CRACK!

Incidentally, it's "nigga".  Not that it makes any difference.

Break it down.  Break, break, break   break it down.

And now that song is stuck in my head.  Good thing it's awesome.

Asian people love golf.

[Freeky]

Asian people love golf.

WHAT?!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Asian people love golf.

WHAT?!

ASIAN PEOPLE LOVE GOLF!

That song is perfect for the 21st Century.  It's like a black velvet painting of Auschwitz.

[Freeky]

Asian people love golf.

WHAT?!

ASIAN PEOPLE LOVE GOLF!

That song is perfect for the 21st Century.  It's like a black velvet painting of Auschwitz.

It is perfect.  All that shiny good good on my eyes, and then switch to what everyone else sees. 

And how did I forget the bit where he blows up a fishbowl with himself swimming around in it? 

[Faust]

Okay, something's been bugging me for a while, and I thought I'd just puke it out and leave the mess for someone else.

Erisians piss me off.  There, I said it.  I get pissy when people say "Oh my Goddess".  It's fucking pretentious as hell.  "GOD" IS A GENDER-NEUTRAL TERM.  And if it ISN'T, it SHOULD BE.  There is no need to say "Goddess" unless your point is to show how fucking edgy you are, what a Real Discordian™ you are.  "Hey, everyone, look!  I'm different than all the Pinkboys and Po'buckers!  Look at meeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Suckers.

That, taken together with "Eris loves us" or "Fuck you, Eris", puts you squarely in the Wiccan camp...ie, you've just taken Christianity and pasted a new header on it.  Eris doesn't do shit for or to you.  At best (worst, really), she has historically given people what they thought they wanted, and then sat back and watched civilizations burn to the ground.

The fact is, Discordianism doesn't require a God.  I mean, sure, you can have one, but you don't NEED one, and you sure as fuck don't need to tell us all about it or make sure we all know.  As far as I'm concerned, you can worship the good old-fashioned patriarchal Jehovah, and still be a Discordian, because Discordia isn't about which god you worship, it's about being a walking glitch.  Or hell, it's just about acknowledging that order and disorder are both omnipresent and that both are the correct tool for different jobs.

The ONLY thing that makes US right and THEM wrong is that we know how the universe works.  We know about the subjective reality fallacy and we know that imposing order or chaos results in a corresponding amount of the opposite quality.  We're just as stupid as they are, but we KNOW it and they don't.  And if we go haring off after silly-assed hipster shit, making DAMN GOOD AND SURE that everyone knows what we think we are, then we may as well just put on a wife beater, pop open a Coors Lite, and hop in the sty with all the other piggies.

So just shut up.  All of you.

Or Kill Me.

This is exactly how Eris would like to be worshipped.

[Richter]

I'm sometimes tempted to say "Goddess" when I'd say "oh my god", "thank god", "god knows", etc. in a sense that would fit Eris better than the traditional Christian god or Jesus or such. I usually end up not doing it because I don't want to sound like a Wiccan, yeah. But it shouldn't matter because I'd be using it to add more nuance, instead of trying to sound edgy.

I'd kinda hope most folks on this board would understand it in a similar matter, but I also know where that sort of optimism usually gets me

I KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE THINGS WORSE...

...and I know what takes to put a nigger in a hearse.

Can't not finish!

I'M ON CRACK!

Incidentally, it's "nigga".  Not that it makes any difference.

Break it down.  Break, break, break   break it down.

And now that song is stuck in my head.  Good thing it's awesome.

This has enriched my morning, and woken up my roommates.

Anyways, handling Eris like a deity in the sense of any other religion is ignoring what separates discordia from them in the first place.

"Um.. you HAVE a deity right?
"Yes, it's Eris, that must mean we're bad or crazy.  You're precious, fuck off now."

[Cramulus]

Erisians piss me off.  There, I said it.  I get pissy when people say "Oh my Goddess".  It's fucking pretentious as hell.  "GOD" IS A GENDER-NEUTRAL TERM.  And if it ISN'T, it SHOULD BE.  There is no need to say "Goddess" unless your point is to show how fucking edgy you are, what a Real Discordian™ you are.  "Hey, everyone, look!  I'm different than all the Pinkboys and Po'buckers!  Look at meeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

hurk, I'm with you... the expression is "oh my God" ... "oh my Goddess" sounds like somebody's been eating too many pixie sticks.

The fact is, Discordianism doesn't require a God.  I mean, sure, you can have one, but you don't NEED one, and you sure as fuck don't need to tell us all about it or make sure we all know.  As far as I'm concerned, you can worship the good old-fashioned patriarchal Jehovah, and still be a Discordian, because Discordia isn't about which god you worship, it's about being a walking glitch.  Or hell, it's just about acknowledging that order and disorder are both omnipresent and that both are the correct tool for different jobs.

FUCK YES

And this is the main reason why I don't consider myself a pagan -- Discordia isn't just an alternative religion - it's alternative TO religion.

In my Discordia, Eris is more like a mascot. She's a metaphor for a complex network of ideas.

One of the subtle benefits of personifying Discordia into something-like-a-person is that it lets you process Discordia using the social parts of your brain. We've got a lot of hardware for social interactions, that may be a slice of why people think they can just fold their hands and have a one-on-one chat with the universe. It's hard to know what the Universe wants you to do, but if you shrink it down to an invisible gaseous male vertebrate, you can think about in terms like "Is this guy pissed at me?" Our brains are able to process "how to stay on god's good side" a bit easier than the more abstract "how to live good and die right".

You can ask yourself "What's the Discordian thing to do right here" and "What would Eris think of this?" and get more or less the same answer.

So I think about Eris, mostly when I'm writing about Discordia, but I don't "believe" in her. She's a construct which is useful now and then, but I think it's absolutely bonkers to chat her up and offer her tea and scones like pagans do.

The ONLY thing that makes US right and THEM wrong is that we know how the universe works.

I think this is where our paths differ

because I don't think that We Discordians have stumbled upon the TRUTH, I think We and They are are just stupid in different ways.

If anything, Discordia's made me skeptical of THE TRUTH and the people that think they see it. I mean, if our schools and government cabinets were stocked with Discordians, I don't think the world would be better off. We'd just be fucking up everything in different ways.

I think Discordians throw better parties than the grayfaces, no doubt. And in my opinion, that's the best reason to chill with Eris.

[PopeTom]

The universe is governed by uncaring impersonal forces. 

Those uncaring impersonal forces are a crazy Greek woman.

Her name is Eris.

Now please excuse me whilst I go to The Region of Thud to distribute Precious Mao Buttons to the poor.

(mostly ripping off page 65)

[LMNO]

I sense a bit of Pratchett in there, too.

[PopeTom]

I think on the Disk the universe is governed by a bunch of uptight jackasses who would happily destroy everything just to make sure the number are easier to crunch.

[FREE LSD]

There is no need to say "Goddess" unless your point is to show how fucking edgy you are...

I agree that overusing "Goddess" isn't particularly useful and may be a way to demonstrate "how fucking edgy [one is]," but the use of the word Goddess in reference to Eristic forces remains, in my opinion, an effective and viable means for reprogramming semantic reactions associated with "God," because the use of "Goddess" can be intended to disrupt human and male chauvinism prevalent in the subject-predicate linguistic form that is typically used by people who haven't attempted to update their linguistic maps of reality by applying some techniques and methods of abstractions provided by general semantics.

[Cramulus]

but more importantly, it makes you sound like a total spag

"Oh my goddess" is in the box with words like 'herstory', 'womyn' and 'firepeople'.

[Cain]

Yeah.  That shit might've worked in the 50s and 60s, but it just gets you pegged as a vegan feminist Wiccan now.

It's been reduced to a label and a slot.  Outside of maybe Saudi Arabia and Iran, that particular technique is not going to be blowing any minds.