A thought on sluts

[Salty]

I think most of this kind of behavior is due to feelings of inferiority.

Most women I meet that have problems in their LTR is because their other simply won't fuck them. They play video games, or watch teevee, or go fishing, etc. And they get all pissy when confronted with it.

That happens a LOT. A lot more than our culture permits, apparently. I mean, there's this constant push for sex, this incredible sex drive that men are supposed to have. But once they get settled in they just sort of get...tired all the time. Like male lions, laying back in the sun, cooling their balls because, hell, shit's all set up now.

It's just bizzare.

One of my bestest guy friends has told me that he will not take a woman seriously if she puts out on the first date. He will still sleep with her, but he won't call her back. If you want to fuck and have a one-night stand, or be fuck buddies, that's cool, but, if you wish to enter a dating relationship, having sex on the first date is a no-no. Though, as a man, when offered vagina, he won't turn it down, but it will change the relationship's dynamic in his head. He may not view her as a "slut" per se, but he won't respect her as potential girlfriend material.

You realize that's completely fucking bullshit, right?  The majority of my long-term relationships started with first-date fucking (or at least heavy petting).  Including the woman I married.  Writing off a potential long-term partner just because she's as horny as you are is fucking ridiculous.

This.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

Sex for men is a conquest. Having sex with the same person exclusively for 50 years can feel like sending the Army to invade Fort Knox. Especially if it's the same routine every single time.

[Suu]

Most women I meet that have problems in their LTR is because their other simply won't fuck them. They play video games, or watch teevee, or go fishing, etc. And they get all pissy when confronted with it.

I see you've met my ex-husband. Sex cooled off almost instantly once we had rings on our fingers. I guess you really do "settle". Your mental and physical state just sorta changes when relationships seem to get more permanent. It's not the first time I've heard this, either.

[LMNO]

Sex for men is a conquest. Having sex with the same person exclusively for 50 years can feel like sending the Army to invade Fort Knox. Especially if it's the same routine every single time.

Doin' it wrong.  Just sayin'.

[EK WAFFLR]

Sex for men is a conquest. Having sex with the same person exclusively for 50 years can feel like sending the Army to invade Fort Knox. Especially if it's the same routine every single time.

No. I cannot speak for the entirety of the male population, but sex is about fun and intimacy.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

Sex for men is a conquest. Having sex with the same person exclusively for 50 years can feel like sending the Army to invade Fort Knox. Especially if it's the same routine every single time.

Doin' it wrong.  Just sayin'.

Maybe conquest was the wrong word. I meant it's more exciting when it isn't just another routine. I DID have this problem for a while. But there are ways to avoid this trap without resorting to extramarital sex or deepening layers of deviance.

Most women I meet that have problems in their LTR is because their other simply won't fuck them. They play video games, or watch teevee, or go fishing, etc. And they get all pissy when confronted with it.

I see you've met my ex-husband. Sex cooled off almost instantly once we had rings on our fingers. I guess you really do "settle". Your mental and physical state just sorta changes when relationships seem to get more permanent. It's not the first time I've heard this, either.

I think the permanence removes (or can remove) the need to worry about impressing each other.

[Suu]

Sex for men is a conquest. Having sex with the same person exclusively for 50 years can feel like sending the Army to invade Fort Knox. Especially if it's the same routine every single time.

Doin' it wrong.  Just sayin'.

I may not have a cock and balls, but I agree with LMNO. If you're with the right person, sex with them should shatter worlds, every time, no matter how long you've been together.

[Salty]

It also probably has to do with deep urges to impress other people. When you commit to someone, if you assume that they are going to be with you no matter what, when you're sure you've impressed them as much as you can, it starts to get dull. You still have the drive to impress and all your old tricks and habits aren't very exciting any more.

Anyhow, the idea that men can fuck a thousand women and beg for more is so prevalent they inevitably feel threatened when a woman acts the same way. Especially if they feel some kind of righteousness.

"I don't let my baser male instincts take over. Why can't you control yourself? Because you're a slut."

When the reality is most women I know (in the biblical sense) can just keep going and going and going, and I am a lazy man. I've even felt that kind of inferiority and the aggression that comes with it when you can't keep up.

But that's stupid monkey brain talking. Waffle Iron is right, but I think it takes some thought to get to that place.

[Suu]

So it basically goes back to archaic thought.

"I'm a man, it's okay for me to screw my way in circles around a bar...but you're a woman, and if you do that, it makes you a skank. Now get home and wash dishes barefoot where you belong."

Okay, maybe not that last part, but you have to admit the entire school of thought in itself is entirely chauvinistic. Why should I, the bearer of the vagina, be called a slut? Because the original vagina bearer ate the fruit that gave us knowledge because the Debil told her too? Oh fuck off.

[LMNO]

Exactly.  "You're not good enough to be my girlfriend/wife because you get horny and do something about it" is douchebag thinking.

[Suu]

Veronica Franco from 16th Century Venice wrote amazing dialogs regarding this. Of course, she was also a courtesan, but one so educated that men would go to HER for advice on everything from warfare to philosophy. The other women loathed her for it. Not just because she fucked their husbands, but because she knew how to read more than just the Psalms, and she rails into them as well for sitting back and whining about her instead of trying to break out of their own cages.

They made a movie about her called Dangerous Beauty, based on the biographical novel called The Honest Courtesan by Margaret Rosenthal, who is well known in the Italian Renaissance sphere of studies, I have a couple of her works because she's a translator of middle Italian, including Franco's collection of letters and poetry. I highly recommend it if you have a thing for smutty poems and letters to the King of France regarding an alliance with Venice against the Ottomans...ALL IN THE SAME VOLUME. She had a hardcore slut shamer who wrote nasty things about her...She retorts and makes him look like a total fucking douchebag, even by Renaissance standards.

[hooplala]

Veronica Franco from 16th Century Venice wrote amazing dialogs regarding this. Of course, she was also a courtesan, but one so educated that men would go to HER for advice on everything from warfare to philosophy. The other women loathed her for it. Not just because she fucked their husbands, but because she knew how to read more than just the Psalms, and she rails into them as well for sitting back and whining about her instead of trying to break out of their own cages.

They made a movie about her called Dangerous Beauty, based on the biographical novel called The Honest Courtesan by Margaret Rosenthal, who is well known in the Italian Renaissance sphere of studies, I have a couple of her works because she's a translator of middle Italian, including Franco's collection of letters and poetry. I highly recommend it if you have a thing for smutty poems and letters to the King of France regarding an alliance with Venice against the Ottomans...ALL IN THE SAME VOLUME. She had a hardcore slut shamer who wrote nasty things about her...She retorts and makes him look like a total fucking douchebag, even by Renaissance standards.

This is post is why I love Suu.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

One of my bestest guy friends has told me that he will not take a woman seriously if she puts out on the first date. He will still sleep with her, but he won't call her back. If you want to fuck and have a one-night stand, or be fuck buddies, that's cool, but, if you wish to enter a dating relationship, having sex on the first date is a no-no. Though, as a man, when offered vagina, he won't turn it down, but it will change the relationship's dynamic in his head. He may not view her as a "slut" per se, but he won't respect her as potential girlfriend material.

Slut shaming is more of what women do to women. I'm guilty of slutting occasionally (ie. fucking on the first date,) but I wouldn't call myself *A* slut. Those are cases of me being stupid and horny, and not using my best judgement, and, because of my own stupid moves, I don't feel like I can really shame anyone for doing the same thing. My sister doesn't have a solid relationship with anyone right now, she just plays regularly with some of the Philadelphia Phillies, and I don't mean baseball. Again though, it's her decision, even if I downright don't approve of it.

Dear Coke Talk has covered this subject before. She's damn good at discussing/slamming the idea of "sluts".

I think what he's doing is a form of slut shaming. It might be a test from his perspective to see how likely a woman is to screw around, but it still amounts to slut shaming. The woman who liked him enough to put out on the first date is made to feel like garbage.

What's odd is, I think us women decide in the first five minutes if a guy is going to get sex or not (if he doesn't say or do something stupid and blow it) and everything else is just an elaborate social ritual. IOW, we might want it on the first date but we don't do it out of fear of losing the guy.

The double standard does have some basis in biology, after all, we're the ones who get knocked up. The guy who left his DNA in every port was a "success", the woman with kids from all different daddies, not so much, since she probably had trouble getting anybody to help support them ("How do I know it's mine?"). Of course now we have birth control, DNA testing and child support enforcement, but it might be a long time before our wiring catches up.

Veronica Franco from 16th Century Venice wrote amazing dialogs regarding this. Of course, she was also a courtesan, but one so educated that men would go to HER for advice on everything from warfare to philosophy. The other women loathed her for it. Not just because she fucked their husbands, but because she knew how to read more than just the Psalms, and she rails into them as well for sitting back and whining about her instead of trying to break out of their own cages.

They made a movie about her called Dangerous Beauty, based on the biographical novel called The Honest Courtesan by Margaret Rosenthal, who is well known in the Italian Renaissance sphere of studies, I have a couple of her works because she's a translator of middle Italian, including Franco's collection of letters and poetry. I highly recommend it if you have a thing for smutty poems and letters to the King of France regarding an alliance with Venice against the Ottomans...ALL IN THE SAME VOLUME. She had a hardcore slut shamer who wrote nasty things about her...She retorts and makes him look like a total fucking douchebag, even by Renaissance standards.

She sounds a lot like Ninon L'Enclos, who was awesome.  If you don't know her, give her a google.

[Suu]

Veronica Franco from 16th Century Venice wrote amazing dialogs regarding this. Of course, she was also a courtesan, but one so educated that men would go to HER for advice on everything from warfare to philosophy. The other women loathed her for it. Not just because she fucked their husbands, but because she knew how to read more than just the Psalms, and she rails into them as well for sitting back and whining about her instead of trying to break out of their own cages.

They made a movie about her called Dangerous Beauty, based on the biographical novel called The Honest Courtesan by Margaret Rosenthal, who is well known in the Italian Renaissance sphere of studies, I have a couple of her works because she's a translator of middle Italian, including Franco's collection of letters and poetry. I highly recommend it if you have a thing for smutty poems and letters to the King of France regarding an alliance with Venice against the Ottomans...ALL IN THE SAME VOLUME. She had a hardcore slut shamer who wrote nasty things about her...She retorts and makes him look like a total fucking douchebag, even by Renaissance standards.

This is post is why I love Suu.

Because I'm a nerd? 

What's odd is, I think us women decide in the first five minutes if a guy is going to get sex or not (if he doesn't say or do something stupid and blow it) and everything else is just an elaborate social ritual. IOW, we might want it on the first date but we don't do it out of fear of losing the guy.

I knew I was eventually going to sleep with Navyguy while on the first date, but it didn't happen til the 3rd. You just /know/. It's hard to explain to guys I think, but women get it. Maybe it's hormones, or something that you're instantly attracted to, but there's something that clicks in your mind and goes, "Yes to sex with him." It's purely biological if not animalistic I'm sure, but I assure you, that our brain seals the deal before the first kiss is even at hand.

[hooplala]

Veronica Franco from 16th Century Venice wrote amazing dialogs regarding this. Of course, she was also a courtesan, but one so educated that men would go to HER for advice on everything from warfare to philosophy. The other women loathed her for it. Not just because she fucked their husbands, but because she knew how to read more than just the Psalms, and she rails into them as well for sitting back and whining about her instead of trying to break out of their own cages.

They made a movie about her called Dangerous Beauty, based on the biographical novel called The Honest Courtesan by Margaret Rosenthal, who is well known in the Italian Renaissance sphere of studies, I have a couple of her works because she's a translator of middle Italian, including Franco's collection of letters and poetry. I highly recommend it if you have a thing for smutty poems and letters to the King of France regarding an alliance with Venice against the Ottomans...ALL IN THE SAME VOLUME. She had a hardcore slut shamer who wrote nasty things about her...She retorts and makes him look like a total fucking douchebag, even by Renaissance standards.

This is post is why I love Suu.

Because I'm a nerd? 

Because you know stuff like that.