Cynicism as an approach to life

[Dalek]

Throughout the last few years of my life, there's been a certain struggle in me, between the romantic that's ready to fall in love with the world, and squeeze it in a big hug and the cynic that skeptically laughs at the huge mess that's everything. I never really managed to identify it until recently and the romantic was usually dominating, with the cynic being a little voice in the back of my mind, that I considered, let's say tasteless.

About a month ago I bought a pill from this Iranian guy, who sells everything but mdma in pill form, still insisting every time in broken bulgarian that his pills are of the purest mdma and mdma only. The fun thing about buying from this guy is that you never know what you're going to get and his pills are often research chemicals or funny, trippy shit.

One day, I was on the afterglow from a pure molly trip and mdma really brings out the romantic, making me see life for all it's beauty and celebrating it and all that hippy shit. I knew when I decided to buy from this guy, that what I was buying would be a random pill and the effects would be interesting (atleast he never sells shit that's dangerous or tries to warn you when it is). The pill was a white one with a playboy bunny stamp. The dealer told me in broken bulgarian "Take only half pill, or too much love it makes feel bad". In the moment I tasted it it reminded me of some 2c-b pills I had eaten a few months ago, but that were not nearly as strong as this one.

As the pill started taking effect, I started feeling electricity all over my body. I was feeling as if my neurons were being pulled in all directions and my nervous system was firing random signals. Then I proceeded to vomit uncontrollably (took the whole pill - as bad as the effects are, I prefer a full trip). After a few puffs of weed the nausea settled back and what took over me was a feeling I couldn't really classify. I decided to listen to AC/DC since it seemed to fit in with the fact that I was feeling like I was on a fucking electric chair. The trip proceeded and about an hour in, I had managed to specify the feeling - it was cynicism. My whole trip was an overdose of cynicism and it felt amazing.

I really sunk in the emotion, enjoying it throughout - the cynic that had been silenced for so long was finally out, seeing the world for the mess, that it is with shit, smugged all over everything and I found it fucking hilarious. Everything was so absurd - meaning of life? What the fuck was I thinking, searching for it? Life's a fucking joke and everything but laughter would be inadequate - a greyface just doesn't get it, gets trapped, unable to recognize the obvious irony. The romantic inside was dead and he seemed so silly, thinking he has an answer to everything, and that being unable to find one is a problem. The cynic was enjoying the fuck out of all the disorder and chaos and all the absurdity and the lack of justice and the unanswered questions. Why should you be so fucking special, why should you have the answers -  just accept it, you're no more or less important than every other human being, or animal or rock or pile of shit and you're as blind as they all are to the grand scheme of things.

Ever since that trip, I've learned how important it is not to let the romantic strangle my perceptions about the world, I've been living in a sort of a romantic cynicism - life feels more like a game, or a dark comedy, where I just poke different buttons on the controller to see what's happening. The trip also helped me personally understand discordianism better, I think that it deffinetly has a cynical undertone, with the bitter-sweet comedy that everything is.

I really fucking hope that this thread won't turn into a new drug thread 

[Epimetheus]

At certain times I've been in a wild perspective which is equally 100% romantic and 100% cynical and the two are one and the same. Full of laughter that is equally shrugging and loving. I know what you mean when you say the cynicism feels so good. I think that kind of cynicism can help a person to realize they should just go for what they want in this whirl of dust we call life - and the romanticism can do the same, with a lens of proper prescription.

[Elder Iptuous]

interesting story.
when you say cynicism, does that include a disbelief in the basic goodness of people?

[LMNO]

I think you might really mean "Absurdism" as in the Camus usage.

[Epimetheus]

Ah yeah. that's what I meant anyway.

[Dalek]

Hmmm, I don't know, maybe the word has different meaning in english, what I meant to describe was a dark-comedy like feeling.

For example:

Whenever I'm on a new drug, I like experimenting with it, and every time I spend some time to do a few prana-yama excercises as I've found out they really enhance the feeling of drugs. While I was tripping even the idea of prana-yama and everything related seemed as hippy bullshit. This point of view is what I refer to as cynicism - the overwhelming feeling that it's all bullshit.

I'm too fucking sleepy to give a better explenation sorry

[Dalek]

Or the feeling you get when you read a Frédéric Beigbeder book

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Drugs are not Slack.  Drugs are another ism, no matter which side of the fence you are on.

Also, hippie shit is hippie shit.  You've got a great brain, why not put it to use, instead of wrapping it in crap?  Actually USING it is a challenge, and therefore more satisfying than the chemical equivalent of Three's Company.

And it's not just a drug thing.  It's the self-indulgence end of things.  Same as people who waste their lives babbling about homeopathy, Nibiru, chemtrails, and other bullshit. 

There's a real world out there that's WAY more interesting than mental wanking, which all of the above is.

(Note:  I'm not against drug use, if you're just wanting to kick back and get fucked up.  But to pretend that it's more than that is WANKERY.)

[Epimetheus]

TGRR isn't slack, but TGRR has helped me realize at times what slack means and how I can make it for myself.
Anything that gets your perspective workin' in a different way can be similar.
It's not the goal, but it can be part of the journey.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

TGRR isn't slack, but TGRR has helped me realize at times what slack means and how I can make it for myself.
Anything that gets your perspective workin' in a different way can be similar.
It's not the goal, but it can be part of the journey.

Everyone is their own fucking Slack.  But there's Slack and there's False Slack.

Okay, so you have a brain.  You have a few choices:

1.  You can stuff it full of amazing, like Kai, who grew up to be a entemologist.  Or Nigel, who grew up to be an artist and then a social scientist (in training, anyway).  Or LMNO, whose head is full of quantums, so you can't tell what he's thinking unless you crack his skull open (but then the cat dies).

2.  You can fill your head full of make-believe bullshit, because you want to give yourself or others the impression that you did the above, without having to work at it, or

3.  You can stuff it full of drugs and/or bad teevee, which is essentially the same as eating 2 Big Macs at every meal.  You can even tell yourself that you're EXPANDING YOUR MIND.  Fuck off, you're just getting fucked up.  And there's nothing WRONG with that, but don't pretend to some kind of mystic bullshit.  Be honest about it.  You're doing what every po'bucker does with cheap beer, only with shitty drugs.

[Epimetheus]

there's not such a thick boundary between acquiring Pleasure and acquiring Knowledge like you're pretending there is. plenty of activities achieve both.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

there's not such a thick boundary between acquiring Pleasure and acquiring Knowledge like you're pretending there is. plenty of activities achieve both.

Yeah?  Sitting around taking anonymous pills, as described, and then doing some yoga?

I call 169% bullshit.  Absolute rubbish.

[LMNO]

[semantic]

You're going to have to set up your terms and definitions as to what you mean by "knowledge".

[/semantic]

[The Good Reverend Roger]

[semantic]

You're going to have to set up your terms and definitions as to what you mean by "knowledge".

[/semantic]

I'm using the traditional sense of the word.  They're apparently using the definition most often found at Burning Man, Grateful Dead Concerts, and Psychic Fairs.

[LMNO]

The last time I acquired pleasure, I also acquired the knowledge that Speyside 21-year scotch is fucking awesome. I also acquired the knowledge that drag superstar Sharon Needles smells good.