OK Cupid: Round IVXXXIX

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Danger, danger, Will Robinson. He'll just eat all your refrigerated goods and clog your shower with his back hair.

What did I do now?

You have your own fridge and shower. You don't need Nigel's.

[Doktor Howl]

Let this one go without the usual beating, Nigel.

Dok,
Has a sad.

[Doktor Howl]

Danger, danger, Will Robinson. He'll just eat all your refrigerated goods and clog your shower with his back hair.

What did I do now?

You have your own fridge and shower. You don't need Nigel's.

I just saw something about clogging the shower with back hair, so yanno...

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Danger, danger, Will Robinson. He'll just eat all your refrigerated goods and clog your shower with his back hair.

What did I do now?

You have your own fridge and shower. You don't need Nigel's.

I just saw something about clogging the shower with back hair, so yanno...

You know, I always wondered how the carpets got so plush in those shaggin' wagons. Then guys started talking about their back hair.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Let this one go without the usual beating, Nigel.

Dok,
Has a sad.

Oh, I was nice about it.

But you might be surprised how many homeless guys hit on me on OKCupid. I'm not heartless about it, but I'm kind of inured to it and not above being sarcastic. About them, not to them. Just because, FFS, they're trying to climb out of the water on the back of a broke-ass single mother.

Also, he's not THAT old. He's 50.

[Doktor Howl]

Just because, FFS, they're trying to climb out of the water on the back of a broke-ass single mother.

Point.

Wound his inner child.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Just because, FFS, they're trying to climb out of the water on the back of a broke-ass single mother.

Point.

Wound his inner child.

 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

OK. This is why I hate OK Cupid:

Here's a chat with a guy I had agreed to go on a date with.
(A bunch of him asking sexually-oriented questions and me steering it away from that direction snipped)

(11:10:59am)DoloresAzure:Weirdly, I've never hiked the Springwater.
(11:11:07am)pdxsyzygy2:I bike it daily
(11:11:10am)pdxsyzygy2:its my commute
(11:11:17am)pdxsyzygy2:are you very oral?
(11:11:54am)DoloresAzure:OK so I am getting the impression that you mostly just want a sex hookup.
(11:12:08am)pdxsyzygy2:lol, yeah I can see how you would feel that way
(11:12:11am)pdxsyzygy2:my apologies.
(11:12:17am)DoloresAzure:Which is great and everything, but I've got sex coming out of my ears
(11:12:20am)pdxsyzygy2:my libido gets away from me sometimes
(11:12:27am)pdxsyzygy2:ah--well good for you.
(11:13:05am)DoloresAzure:The upshot is that this is probably titillating you, but I like to find out more about someone's sexuality after meeting them and figuring out whether I want to have sex with them.
(11:13:06am)pdxsyzygy2:I'm not looking for a buddy. I have plenty of friends
(11:13:23am)pdxsyzygy2:I completely understand.
(11:13:41am)pdxsyzygy2:My ex, however, was frigid and couldnt talk about sex.
(11:13:44am)DoloresAzure:I don't get turned on by online sex chat or phone sex, it bores me.
(11:13:58am)pdxsyzygy2:I dont recall saying I was turned on.
(11:14:03am)pdxsyzygy2:My arent YOU judgmental
(11:14:14am)DoloresAzure:Not being into it isn't the same as judging.
(11:14:21am)pdxsyzygy2:you are judging ME
(11:14:32am)DoloresAzure:I am being up front.
(11:14:44am)pdxsyzygy2:anyhow, sorry for bothering you. You are completely different then you were when we first spoke
(11:14:59am)pdxsyzygy2:you call it being up front, I call it judgmental
(11:15:01am)pdxsyzygy2:have fun!
(11:15:03am)DoloresAzure:I am very sexual, I have a large sexual appetite, but being questioned about it by a guy I've never met and have no idea whether I want to fuck doesn't interest me.
(11:15:40am)pdxsyzygy2:And I said fair enough
(11:15:45am)pdxsyzygy2:I even apologized
(11:15:52am)pdxsyzygy2:is the horse dead yet?
(11:15:52am)DoloresAzure:If MY lack of interest somehow translates to judging YOU, I have no idea what to say to you.
(11:16:51am)DoloresAzure:It's fine for you to be into what you're into. Lots of people, men and women, totally get off on sex chat. That's cool.
(11:17:06am)pdxsyzygy2:I never said I do
(11:17:16am)pdxsyzygy2:I'm not sure why you keep going back to that
(11:17:28am)pdxsyzygy2:keep whipping that horse though--I am not sure its dead yet
(11:17:29am)pdxsyzygy2:lol
(11:17:59am)DoloresAzure:I'm trying to explain that I'm not negatively judging it, just expressing that it's not my thing.
(11:18:27am)pdxsyzygy2:over and over
(11:18:35am)pdxsyzygy2:I got it the first tie
(11:18:37am)pdxsyzygy2:time
(11:18:47am)DoloresAzure:Well, you did get rather defensive and aggressive about it.
(11:18:54am)DoloresAzure:I think this conversation is over.
(11:19:07am)pdxsyzygy2:lol--I think you are pojecting
(11:19:18am)pdxsyzygy2:my only issue is how repetitive you have been about your dislike
(11:19:45am)pdxsyzygy2:and I tried to end this conversation about 15 minutes ago but you wanted to go on and on about how you have sex coming out of your ears

I messaged him that he's a freak who will be forever alone, and blocked him.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Oh man, I haven't logged into OkCupid for months. Thanks for reminding me why, Nigel. That guy seemed real quick to back down and blow snow when called on his douchery. Poor wee lad, not used to real people. Those blow-up dolls just don't talk back as much as real women. It can be hard to take.

[Cain]

I still get stuck at the "homeless guys on OKCupid" bit.

Jesus, I refused to go on OKCupid when I was unemployed or living with my parents, because, even though those were temporary situations, I know how UTTERLY LAME they look.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Remember Wall-O-Text Guy? hxxp://www.okcupid.com/profile/blazerzr2003/personality?cf=profile

I wonder what Housecar's would look like.

Then again, I don't wonder. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Ugh, that guy. Now he's going to think I'm stalking his profile!

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

 
Link broken.

[Cain]

Remember when anyone mentions "NSA fun" to send them reams of information on your internet history, or suggest you role play "Edward Snowden and the naughty CIA interrogator".

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Remember when anyone mentions "NSA fun" to send them reams of information on your internet history, or suggest you role play "Edward Snowden and the naughty CIA interrogator".