Prophet Replacement Service

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I'd like a prognostication.

[Junkenstein]

Do me.

You come out with a couple of moderately decent posts in about 3 years. That's pretty much the high point.

[Junkenstein]

I'd like a prognostication.

Twids spiritual exploitations eventually lead him back to a rather extreme branch of the Roman Catholic Church. The 2029 earthquake in Vatican City convinces a sizeable number that God is displeased and the Schism occurs. Ending up in a "man behind the man behind the man" position enables him to live a lifestyle of relative luxury in a secure compound.

Being in a secure compound with 2029 heavily armed version of the Westboro Roman catholic church is pretty much exactly as pleasant as it sounds however.

Those closest to him write a "I knew him when" book and make a sizeable profit from talk shows.

[Salty]

Tell me.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Okay. Show me what you got, hot stuff.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hook a girl up.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I'd like a prognostication.

Twids spiritual exploitations eventually lead him back to a rather extreme branch of the Roman Catholic Church. The 2029 earthquake in Vatican City convinces a sizeable number that God is displeased and the Schism occurs. Ending up in a "man behind the man behind the man" position enables him to live a lifestyle of relative luxury in a secure compound.

Being in a secure compound with 2029 heavily armed version of the Westboro Roman catholic church is pretty much exactly as pleasant as it sounds however.

Those closest to him write a "I knew him when" book and make a sizeable profit from talk shows.

I suppose I always wanted fame.

[Ben Shapiro]

Why does my breath smell like cat food?

[President Television]

Who's your pick for next Mexico?

[EK WAFFLR]

Let's hear it.

[LMNO]

Who will win the World Cup?

[Junkenstein]

Tell me.

Alty eventually corners the Alaskan yoga market with an accessible franchise setup which proceeds to make him literally tens of dollars. This success allows him to corner the market further and convince people that he is entitled to some kind of royalty for anything involving stretching at work. Certification schemes and a new era of H+S in relaxation come to a head in around 2045 with people having to fill in forms after yawning.

Alty is pleased by his doings and dies unexpectedly involving a hang-glider and burlesque show.

[Junkenstein]

Okay. Show me what you got, hot stuff.

CPD is arrested after a short spree as the "deep fried murderess" around 2026. Previous experiences dealing with the general population lead to a mental break in which everything would be somehow better if boiled in oil for a while.

Due to "My Kitchen - My rules" legislation introduced after the Martha Stewart trial, the judge has little choice but to acquit and award her a medal and small appearance fee.

[Junkenstein]

Hook a girl up.

Nigel enjoys brief political fame and small election success despite wanting it around 2024. While a newspaper darling for about 6 weeks, they eventually realise that she's just not going to stop.

Vicious hatchet jobs occur on all sides leading to Nigel eventually having to flee to the free federated states of Italy in 2026. Despite repeated requests for extradition the Italian authorities never quite get around to it and most of the butthurt subsides by 2028.

Needless to say, history repeats in 2032.

[Junkenstein]

Why does my breath smell like cat food?

Your loved ones have been feeding you cat food. They find it funny. So do I.

Why will your breath smell like cat food? Because you'll learn to like it and eventually use it to make money in bar bets. It takes a few years, but you eventually earn a nice living out of it.