OPEN BAR: I see you've come to PD. I too like to live dangerously

[minuspace]

My brain just fell in on itself and gave me an anxiety attack.

Fuck this. I need to call my new doctor tomorrow for a physical anyway, may as well have him give me a referral to a shrink along with a gyno. I think it's time to medicate myself normal so others will stop being offended by my personality or some shit.

It might be a good idea. I talked to my doctor about it when the frequency and intensity increased (the temporary paralysis was kind of a selling point). I got lorazepam, it helped, and funny enough, I haven't needed a refill yet. I took most of the bottle, but I'm a bit more aware of my triggers.

I don't typically get that bad, I just suddenly feel like everybody I know is out to get me, hates me, and that everything I have said and done my entire life is terrible, and I burst into tears and don't move for a while. I was prone to this more when I worked in restaurants and it went away once I went to school and got away from the triggers. I tend to get them now with the academic and reenactment communities. If I piss one person off, or rather, THINK I pissed one person off, my brain goes to this place where it immediately blames me for breathing the same air at this human. I don't think this is how it's supposed to work.

I used to (and still somewhat do) get all that stuff.  One thing I found about the triggers is that they can have a cumulative effect, raising baseline anxiety levels, and reducing headroom for higher cognitive functions.  The anti-whatever pills can help reset that baseline anxiety so as to allow progressively dealing with triggers in an effective way.  Also some talk therapy can help untangle that cognitive process and develop positive coping strategies. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Another mass shooting.   

Fuuuuck.

[Suu]

My brain just fell in on itself and gave me an anxiety attack.

Fuck this. I need to call my new doctor tomorrow for a physical anyway, may as well have him give me a referral to a shrink along with a gyno. I think it's time to medicate myself normal so others will stop being offended by my personality or some shit.

It might be a good idea. I talked to my doctor about it when the frequency and intensity increased (the temporary paralysis was kind of a selling point). I got lorazepam, it helped, and funny enough, I haven't needed a refill yet. I took most of the bottle, but I'm a bit more aware of my triggers.

I don't typically get that bad, I just suddenly feel like everybody I know is out to get me, hates me, and that everything I have said and done my entire life is terrible, and I burst into tears and don't move for a while. I was prone to this more when I worked in restaurants and it went away once I went to school and got away from the triggers. I tend to get them now with the academic and reenactment communities. If I piss one person off, or rather, THINK I pissed one person off, my brain goes to this place where it immediately blames me for breathing the same air at this human. I don't think this is how it's supposed to work.

You have different triggers now, and that's the key. If you're going into that situation, take one as a preventative measure.

One of my triggers is talking too extensively about the rest of my life and career goals (more than a couple of minutes), so I try to not spend a lot of time on that and do it semester by semester or whatever idea is interesting me at the moment.

Last time I dosed, actually, was at the beginning of finals until I talked myself into thinking, "meh, it's just another test"

I really don't want to take that step into prescription drugs. I really don't. Sam-e helps my mood swings, but it's expensive and I often forget to get more. I also found that Allegra, the allergy med, turns me into She-Hulk, so I had to quit taking those. The fact that I'm not a social creature up here North of the Wall doesn't help, either. I don't have a car yet, husband isn't always home, in fact he was gone for almost all of May back down in CT, the other Navy Wives think I'm fucking crazy because I don't want kids and don't believe in Jesus while it's okay for me to hit Jeff with a sword in the yard, and now I'm starting a new school in the fall while he's tentatively scheduled for deployment. Aside from not knowing anybody though, New Hampshire itself isn't bad when it's not trying to kill you.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

My brain just fell in on itself and gave me an anxiety attack.

Fuck this. I need to call my new doctor tomorrow for a physical anyway, may as well have him give me a referral to a shrink along with a gyno. I think it's time to medicate myself normal so others will stop being offended by my personality or some shit.

It might be a good idea. I talked to my doctor about it when the frequency and intensity increased (the temporary paralysis was kind of a selling point). I got lorazepam, it helped, and funny enough, I haven't needed a refill yet. I took most of the bottle, but I'm a bit more aware of my triggers.

I don't typically get that bad, I just suddenly feel like everybody I know is out to get me, hates me, and that everything I have said and done my entire life is terrible, and I burst into tears and don't move for a while. I was prone to this more when I worked in restaurants and it went away once I went to school and got away from the triggers. I tend to get them now with the academic and reenactment communities. If I piss one person off, or rather, THINK I pissed one person off, my brain goes to this place where it immediately blames me for breathing the same air at this human. I don't think this is how it's supposed to work.

I used to (and still somewhat do) get all that stuff.  One thing I found about the triggers is that they can have a cumulative effect, raising baseline anxiety levels, and reducing headroom for higher cognitive functions.  The anti-whatever pills can help reset that baseline anxiety so as to allow progressively dealing with triggers in an effective way.  Also some talk therapy can help untangle that cognitive process and develop positive coping strategies.

The cumulative effect... ugh.

Actually my recent bout of it started at Christmas Morning with Aunt Kathy going to the hospital. It started spiraling from there because the next one was New Years Eve when my supervisor was giving me a lift home. She gets panic attacks too, so she wasn't bothered by it. It did make me crap at giving her directions though.

My brain just fell in on itself and gave me an anxiety attack.

Fuck this. I need to call my new doctor tomorrow for a physical anyway, may as well have him give me a referral to a shrink along with a gyno. I think it's time to medicate myself normal so others will stop being offended by my personality or some shit.

It might be a good idea. I talked to my doctor about it when the frequency and intensity increased (the temporary paralysis was kind of a selling point). I got lorazepam, it helped, and funny enough, I haven't needed a refill yet. I took most of the bottle, but I'm a bit more aware of my triggers.

I don't typically get that bad, I just suddenly feel like everybody I know is out to get me, hates me, and that everything I have said and done my entire life is terrible, and I burst into tears and don't move for a while. I was prone to this more when I worked in restaurants and it went away once I went to school and got away from the triggers. I tend to get them now with the academic and reenactment communities. If I piss one person off, or rather, THINK I pissed one person off, my brain goes to this place where it immediately blames me for breathing the same air at this human. I don't think this is how it's supposed to work.

You have different triggers now, and that's the key. If you're going into that situation, take one as a preventative measure.

One of my triggers is talking too extensively about the rest of my life and career goals (more than a couple of minutes), so I try to not spend a lot of time on that and do it semester by semester or whatever idea is interesting me at the moment.

Last time I dosed, actually, was at the beginning of finals until I talked myself into thinking, "meh, it's just another test"

I really don't want to take that step into prescription drugs. I really don't. Sam-e helps my mood swings, but it's expensive and I often forget to get more. I also found that Allegra, the allergy med, turns me into She-Hulk, so I had to quit taking those. The fact that I'm not a social creature up here North of the Wall doesn't help, either. I don't have a car yet, husband isn't always home, in fact he was gone for almost all of May back down in CT, the other Navy Wives think I'm fucking crazy because I don't want kids and don't believe in Jesus while it's okay for me to hit Jeff with a sword in the yard, and now I'm starting a new school in the fall while he's tentatively scheduled for deployment. Aside from not knowing anybody though, New Hampshire itself isn't bad when it's not trying to kill you.

I hear that. Isolation can do a number on you too. If you like, once I get into my summer schedule we can meet up for lunch and a beer.

[Suu]

I hear that. Isolation can do a number on you too. If you like, once I get into my summer schedule we can meet up for lunch and a beer.

I can get down to Boston easy enough, considering I'm in the outer most ring. I know the Magna Carta is going to be at the MFA soon.

And it's not that I don't have friends in NH, I totally do, but Portsmouth is in an odd location, and there's no such thing as a straight line to anywhere in this state unless it's on one of the main highways. Portsmouth is on 95, but most of the population is on 93, which is an hour away.  I'm thinking since the weather is nice this weekend I should talk the boy into going downtown and walking around or heading up to Portland for the day (another hour.) We also need to get on our goddamn bicycles.

Oh yeah, the weather. That hasn't really stabilized yet, either. 

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I hear that. Isolation can do a number on you too. If you like, once I get into my summer schedule we can meet up for lunch and a beer.

I can get down to Boston easy enough, considering I'm in the outer most ring. I know the Magna Carta is going to be at the MFA soon.

And it's not that I don't have friends in NH, I totally do, but Portsmouth is in an odd location, and there's no such thing as a straight line to anywhere in this state unless it's on one of the main highways. Portsmouth is on 95, but most of the population is on 93, which is an hour away.  I'm thinking since the weather is nice this weekend I should talk the boy into going downtown and walking around or heading up to Portland for the day (another hour.) We also need to get on our goddamn bicycles.

Oh yeah, the weather. That hasn't really stabilized yet, either. 

Yeah, it's a bit weird. Two weeks ago, the landlady was like, "whenever you need the air conditioner, just let me know"

Ok, I'll let you know when the sky lets me know.

MFA might work pretty well. I have class on Wednesdays, and I wouldn't be terribly inclined to go to work after 5 straight hours of Genetics, if you're free on Wednesdays.

ETA: I also have 5 straight hours of Genetics on Fridays, and with the exception of tomorrow because I went home and conked the fuck out yesterday, fuck that shit.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So, I just checked my "other" inbox on facebook, and found 119 messages, all of which are along these lines:

Hey, Tigger, 好假不见. Remember me? The black sheep. You might not remember this name but if you do then you're probably a psycho stalker.

When no reply was forthcoming:

And you may wonder if the inverse is true and I in fact know you then I must be the psycho stalker. Maybe I am, maybe I remember how you like to, "make conversation"; maybe you fucked with the wrong lost soul. It's a good thing the true chai was there to price together the parts of my wailing soul. Either way you're a fucking terrible reverend.

then

I could name you. Anonymity is no longer your friend.

This was the user "Black Sheep" here on PD, which was an alt account some time ago.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Needless to say, I was filled with bowel-liquifying terror.   

ETA:  So I now have something like 110 angry stalkers, which is kind of a personal best.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

So, I just checked my "other" inbox on facebook, and found 119 messages, all of which are along these lines:

Hey, Tigger, 好假不见. Remember me? The black sheep. You might not remember this name but if you do then you're probably a psycho stalker.

When no reply was forthcoming:

And you may wonder if the inverse is true and I in fact know you then I must be the psycho stalker. Maybe I am, maybe I remember how you like to, "make conversation"; maybe you fucked with the wrong lost soul. It's a good thing the true chai was there to price together the parts of my wailing soul. Either way you're a fucking terrible reverend.

then

I could name you. Anonymity is no longer your friend.

This was the user "Black Sheep" here on PD, which was an alt account some time ago.

I fail to see what tea has to do with his or her beef.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So, I just checked my "other" inbox on facebook, and found 119 messages, all of which are along these lines:

Hey, Tigger, 好假不见. Remember me? The black sheep. You might not remember this name but if you do then you're probably a psycho stalker.

When no reply was forthcoming:

And you may wonder if the inverse is true and I in fact know you then I must be the psycho stalker. Maybe I am, maybe I remember how you like to, "make conversation"; maybe you fucked with the wrong lost soul. It's a good thing the true chai was there to price together the parts of my wailing soul. Either way you're a fucking terrible reverend.

then

I could name you. Anonymity is no longer your friend.

This was the user "Black Sheep" here on PD, which was an alt account some time ago.

I fail to see what tea has to do with his or her beef.

He sent that a year ago.  So I answered it tonight:

1.  Who cares?

2.  Who are you?

[Suu]

I hear that. Isolation can do a number on you too. If you like, once I get into my summer schedule we can meet up for lunch and a beer.

I can get down to Boston easy enough, considering I'm in the outer most ring. I know the Magna Carta is going to be at the MFA soon.

And it's not that I don't have friends in NH, I totally do, but Portsmouth is in an odd location, and there's no such thing as a straight line to anywhere in this state unless it's on one of the main highways. Portsmouth is on 95, but most of the population is on 93, which is an hour away.  I'm thinking since the weather is nice this weekend I should talk the boy into going downtown and walking around or heading up to Portland for the day (another hour.) We also need to get on our goddamn bicycles.

Oh yeah, the weather. That hasn't really stabilized yet, either. 

Yeah, it's a bit weird. Two weeks ago, the landlady was like, "whenever you need the air conditioner, just let me know"

Ok, I'll let you know when the sky lets me know.

MFA might work pretty well. I have class on Wednesdays, and I wouldn't be terribly inclined to go to work after 5 straight hours of Genetics, if you're free on Wednesdays.

ETA: I also have 5 straight hours of Genetics on Fridays, and with the exception of tomorrow because I went home and conked the fuck out yesterday, fuck that shit.

I'm tempted to put the ACs in to get the humidity sucked out of the damn house. My bedroom is disgusting. I have the fan on, and the temperature is great, but everything is just...damp. If I close the window, then it's too warm. I swear, the Seacoast is a rainforest, between the wet and the 5:30am wakeup calls from ALL THE BIRDS AT ONCE.

Oh, and Wednesdays after 4pm are pay as you wish at the MFA, also.

[Suu]

So, I just checked my "other" inbox on facebook, and found 119 messages, all of which are along these lines:

Hey, Tigger, 好假不见. Remember me? The black sheep. You might not remember this name but if you do then you're probably a psycho stalker.

When no reply was forthcoming:

And you may wonder if the inverse is true and I in fact know you then I must be the psycho stalker. Maybe I am, maybe I remember how you like to, "make conversation"; maybe you fucked with the wrong lost soul. It's a good thing the true chai was there to price together the parts of my wailing soul. Either way you're a fucking terrible reverend.

then

I could name you. Anonymity is no longer your friend.

This was the user "Black Sheep" here on PD, which was an alt account some time ago.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

There's about 110 of these bastards, no shit. 

It's like Christmas in June!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So, I just checked my "other" inbox on facebook, and found 119 messages, all of which are along these lines:

Hey, Tigger, 好假不见. Remember me? The black sheep. You might not remember this name but if you do then you're probably a psycho stalker.

When no reply was forthcoming:

And you may wonder if the inverse is true and I in fact know you then I must be the psycho stalker. Maybe I am, maybe I remember how you like to, "make conversation"; maybe you fucked with the wrong lost soul. It's a good thing the true chai was there to price together the parts of my wailing soul. Either way you're a fucking terrible reverend.

then

I could name you. Anonymity is no longer your friend.

This was the user "Black Sheep" here on PD, which was an alt account some time ago.

I love that you accidentally just ignored him, and then he gave up and probably pouted.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Also, you're just trying SO HARD to keep your true identity secret. SO MUCH.