Open Bar: Funnier Than White People Practicing Voodoo

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

New open bar thread, due to size

Title win.

Oh shit, I just noticed! 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

hxxp://www.witchvox.com/va/dt_va.html?a=ustx&c=trads&id=6325

Is there anything funnier than white people practicing voodoo?

Yes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Byh5k-m2SqI

Yes, there is.

It kind of lacks that "forced to practice their native religion in secret due to being held captive by white oppressors - secret native religion then co-opted by descendants of white oppressors" quality, though.

"White guy appropriates West Indies method of expressing anguish."

It reminds me of white Rastafarians. Talk about missing the punchline completely.

MY FELLOW WHITE PEOPLES:

Bob Marley wasn't talking to us.  We're allowed to listen, but he wasn't speaking directly to us.  So lose the dreads.  Thank you.

Brah my Grandmother was a Jamaican princess!

Oh my god. As a person who had a Carolina Cherokee grandmother, that phrase makes me cringe so hard.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So, after management came over and gave him the good word that yes, he can take the gold dollars, she looked at me, like a goddamn kindergarten teacher, and said, "Just don't do it again."

Approved TGRR reponse:

"Fuck you."

Come to find out according to the US Treasury, they DON'T have to take them:

http://www.treasury.gov/resource-center/faqs/currency/pages/legal-tender.aspx

Still: Bullshit.

I think this calls for writing a carefully-worded letter to Wal*Mart Corporate detailing the interaction. Having worked for a corporation, I can say that this is the one thing that strikes terror into the hearts of managers. There will be a regional training on accepting currency within six months, and then you can take your revenge by going in and finding that same checker, and buying your Little Debbie Nutty Bars or whatever with dollar coins.

You know what you have to do. For America™.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So, after management came over and gave him the good word that yes, he can take the gold dollars, she looked at me, like a goddamn kindergarten teacher, and said, "Just don't do it again."

Approved TGRR reponse:

"Fuck you."

Come to find out according to the US Treasury, they DON'T have to take them:

http://www.treasury.gov/resource-center/faqs/currency/pages/legal-tender.aspx

Still: Bullshit.

Again, approved TGRR reponse:

"Fuck you."

and this is why you are a great philosopher of the times.

Damn skippy.  Most of life's little bumps in the road can be cured with a calm and timely "fuck you".

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So, after management came over and gave him the good word that yes, he can take the gold dollars, she looked at me, like a goddamn kindergarten teacher, and said, "Just don't do it again."

Approved TGRR reponse:

"Fuck you."

Come to find out according to the US Treasury, they DON'T have to take them:

http://www.treasury.gov/resource-center/faqs/currency/pages/legal-tender.aspx

Still: Bullshit.

I think this calls for writing a carefully-worded letter to Wal*Mart Corporate detailing the interaction. Having worked for a corporation, I can say that this is the one thing that strikes terror into the hearts of managers. There will be a regional training on accepting currency within six months, and then you can take your revenge by going in and finding that same checker, and buying your Little Debbie Nutty Bars or whatever with dollar coins.

You know what you have to do. For America™.

Just sitting through the training would be torture enough.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Busy day.  Somehow, the bolts holding the burner block in the boiler broke, and the burner fell off.

Still lit.

No injuries, no serious damage, no idea how the bolts failed.  Bigass investigation, loads of paperwork, and we'll focus all of our efforts on this anomaly to the exclusion of all else, until it fades from memory.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

What's really funny is that this sort of shit happens in an OSHA-compliant plant.  Imagine what shit must have been like back in the "gilded age".

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Busy day.  Somehow, the bolts holding the burner block in the boiler broke, and the burner fell off.

Still lit.

No injuries, no serious damage, no idea how the bolts failed.  Bigass investigation, loads of paperwork, and we'll focus all of our efforts on this anomaly to the exclusion of all else, until it fades from memory.

Whoa, clearly I have missed a post or two. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

This morning in a burst of collaborative genius generated by the comment "What the hell kind of creep makes a fan page for themselves?", this was born: hxxps://www.facebook.com/TheGoodReverendRoger

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I'm paying for an ad for it just for shits and giggles, and the best part is that so far 77 people have seen the ad. This makes me laugh hysterically. No wait; that's not the best part. THE BEST PART, I MEAN OH MY GOD I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING, is that when you pay to promote a page the posts from that page are occasionally inserted into targeted people's newsfeed.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'm paying for an ad for it just for shits and giggles, and the best part is that so far 77 people have seen the ad. This makes me laugh hysterically. No wait; that's not the best part. THE BEST PART, I MEAN OH MY GOD I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING, is that when you pay to promote a page the posts from that page are occasionally inserted into targeted people's newsfeed.

HAHAHAHA!

I will have some deranged shit for you to quote by this evening.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So, after management came over and gave him the good word that yes, he can take the gold dollars, she looked at me, like a goddamn kindergarten teacher, and said, "Just don't do it again."

Approved TGRR reponse:

"Fuck you."

Come to find out according to the US Treasury, they DON'T have to take them:

http://www.treasury.gov/resource-center/faqs/currency/pages/legal-tender.aspx

Still: Bullshit.

I think this calls for writing a carefully-worded letter to Wal*Mart Corporate detailing the interaction. Having worked for a corporation, I can say that this is the one thing that strikes terror into the hearts of managers. There will be a regional training on accepting currency within six months, and then you can take your revenge by going in and finding that same checker, and buying your Little Debbie Nutty Bars or whatever with dollar coins.

You know what you have to do. For America™.

Just sitting through the training would be torture enough.

Why punish just one? Make EVERYONE suffer!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I'm paying for an ad for it just for shits and giggles, and the best part is that so far 77 people have seen the ad. This makes me laugh hysterically. No wait; that's not the best part. THE BEST PART, I MEAN OH MY GOD I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING, is that when you pay to promote a page the posts from that page are occasionally inserted into targeted people's newsfeed.

HAHAHAHA!

I will have some deranged shit for you to quote by this evening.

Glorious! I am really enjoying my position as Pope of Roger.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So, after management came over and gave him the good word that yes, he can take the gold dollars, she looked at me, like a goddamn kindergarten teacher, and said, "Just don't do it again."

Approved TGRR reponse:

"Fuck you."

Come to find out according to the US Treasury, they DON'T have to take them:

http://www.treasury.gov/resource-center/faqs/currency/pages/legal-tender.aspx

Still: Bullshit.

I think this calls for writing a carefully-worded letter to Wal*Mart Corporate detailing the interaction. Having worked for a corporation, I can say that this is the one thing that strikes terror into the hearts of managers. There will be a regional training on accepting currency within six months, and then you can take your revenge by going in and finding that same checker, and buying your Little Debbie Nutty Bars or whatever with dollar coins.

You know what you have to do. For America™.

Just sitting through the training would be torture enough.

Why punish just one? Make EVERYONE suffer!

AMERICA!

<angelic choir>

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'm paying for an ad for it just for shits and giggles, and the best part is that so far 77 people have seen the ad. This makes me laugh hysterically. No wait; that's not the best part. THE BEST PART, I MEAN OH MY GOD I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING, is that when you pay to promote a page the posts from that page are occasionally inserted into targeted people's newsfeed.

HAHAHAHA!

I will have some deranged shit for you to quote by this evening.

Glorious! I am really enjoying my position as Pope of Roger.

Why is it that when a baby is born with its feet where its hands belong, it's a "miracle baby", but if I get my dick stuck in a desk drawer, I'm some kind of asshole?