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Open Bar: Funnier Than White People Practicing Voodoo

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, June 09, 2014, 03:18:31 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Junkenstein on June 10, 2014, 06:08:22 PM
Ah, Joy. New client. More cash than sense and no clue about the industry.

We're going to get along splendidly.

That is sort of one of my wet dreams.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 10, 2014, 06:10:05 PM
What was supposed to happen today:

Car tune-up.

Cat to the vet.

Get a new phone (old one is dead) and pizza at the mall.

What has happened :

Car has a hole in the radiator.

CPD:  Giving Navkat lessons in shitty luck.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Junkenstein

Quote from: Cain on June 10, 2014, 06:06:40 PM
Quote from: LuciferX on June 10, 2014, 05:45:12 PM
Yea, sometimes being tired helps me not notice those venomous, suppurating scabs.  Sleep won't sort them out, so I direct them to overflow, because buffer is already at capacity   

Indeed.  Given my already low opinion of them, it is fairly easy to drown them out, but unfortunately it doesn't entirely get rid of them.

Quote from: Junkenstein on June 10, 2014, 05:46:39 PM

Is that for the research gig? Either way, good luck.



No, this is the care work I've been doing the last couple of months.  Care, incidentally, is a misleading name and a terrible occupation, and many of the people involved in it are the kind of people least suited to caring about anything and anyone in the world.  I'm seriously considering a down payment to a reliable assassin should I ever develop dementia in the future...it's better than the alternatives.

Have you considered a tontine? It adds an amusing layer of risk to growing older. It also gives the others involved an incentive to monitor each others mental faculties and assist the end as appropriate.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 10, 2014, 06:11:04 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 10, 2014, 06:10:05 PM
What was supposed to happen today:

Car tune-up.

Cat to the vet.

Get a new phone (old one is dead) and pizza at the mall.

What has happened :

Car has a hole in the radiator.

CPD:  Giving Navkat lessons in shitty luck.

A distinction I could have done without. I get one day off a week, man. I have shit to do.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

I am oddly at peace with all the shit falling to pieces around me. Car, cat, phone, the complications presented in getting to work, SO, nightmares, three hours of sleep in two days, depression, no money, etc. It's like a familiar song I'd almost forgotten the lyrics to. Like a lullaby played on rusty saw blades and sung by wailing at the moon, all alone on the mountain.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

minuspace

Quote from: Junkenstein on June 10, 2014, 06:13:46 PM
Quote from: Cain on June 10, 2014, 06:06:40 PM
Quote from: LuciferX on June 10, 2014, 05:45:12 PM
Yea, sometimes being tired helps me not notice those venomous, suppurating scabs.  Sleep won't sort them out, so I direct them to overflow, because buffer is already at capacity   

Indeed.  Given my already low opinion of them, it is fairly easy to drown them out, but unfortunately it doesn't entirely get rid of them.

Quote from: Junkenstein on June 10, 2014, 05:46:39 PM

Is that for the research gig? Either way, good luck.



No, this is the care work I've been doing the last couple of months.  Care, incidentally, is a misleading name and a terrible occupation, and many of the people involved in it are the kind of people least suited to caring about anything and anyone in the world.  I'm seriously considering a down payment to a reliable assassin should I ever develop dementia in the future...it's better than the alternatives.

Have you considered a tontine? It adds an amusing layer of risk to growing older. It also gives the others involved an incentive to monitor each others mental faculties and assist the end as appropriate.

Sometimes, the spoils are also shared together ahead of time, as moral victories against those for whom the appointment of that fund would serve, alternatively, like something similar to early retirement from the care industry.  Hypothetically, in a dream from a parallel universe, that is.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 10, 2014, 06:20:28 PM
I am oddly at peace with all the shit falling to pieces around me. Car, cat, phone, the complications presented in getting to work, SO, nightmares, three hours of sleep in two days, depression, no money, etc. It's like a familiar song I'd almost forgotten the lyrics to. Like a lullaby played on rusty saw blades and sung by wailing at the moon, all alone on the mountain.

You can get used to anything.  ANYTHING.  That's not always a good thing.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

minuspace

ANYTHING'S ALWAYS NOT ENOUGH

NOTHING NEVER NEEDS MOAR

Sita

School's only been out a week and I'm already counting the days for it to start again.
I like my solitude, I like having quiet for most of the day. I miss it.
August needs to hurry up and get here.
:ninja:
Laugh, even if you are screaming inside. Smile, because the world doesn't care if you feel like crying.

Suu

Quote from: Sita on June 10, 2014, 06:56:58 PM
School's only been out a week and I'm already counting the days for it to start again.
I like my solitude, I like having quiet for most of the day. I miss it.
August needs to hurry up and get here.

At least you're home with your kids. Both of my parents worked, so my brother and sister went to day camp and I stayed at home alone and had to clean the house until my brother was old enough to be home with me. I hated it. By the time my sister was old enough, I was working too. Good times.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Junkenstein

LMNO - Please insert appropriate Monty Python reference here.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

LMNO

Quote from: Junkenstein on June 10, 2014, 07:21:56 PM
LMNO - Please insert appropriate Monty Python reference here.

Sigh.

Quote from: The Suu on June 10, 2014, 07:11:11 PM
Quote from: Sita on June 10, 2014, 06:56:58 PM
School's only been out a week and I'm already counting the days for it to start again.
I like my solitude, I like having quiet for most of the day. I miss it.
August needs to hurry up and get here.

At least you're home with your kids. Both of my parents worked, so my brother and sister went to day camp and I stayed at home alone and had to clean the house until my brother was old enough to be home with me. I hated it. By the time my sister was old enough, I was working too. Good times.

You.  Lucky.  Bastard.   I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 10, 2014, 07:23:56 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 10, 2014, 07:21:56 PM
LMNO - Please insert appropriate Monty Python reference here.

Sigh.

Quote from: The Suu on June 10, 2014, 07:11:11 PM
Quote from: Sita on June 10, 2014, 06:56:58 PM
School's only been out a week and I'm already counting the days for it to start again.
I like my solitude, I like having quiet for most of the day. I miss it.
August needs to hurry up and get here.

At least you're home with your kids. Both of my parents worked, so my brother and sister went to day camp and I stayed at home alone and had to clean the house until my brother was old enough to be home with me. I hated it. By the time my sister was old enough, I was working too. Good times.

You.  Lucky.  Bastard.   I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

I lived in a cardboard box and my parents bashed my teeth in with a brick every morning, and BY GOD I WAS GRATEFUL FOR IT.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on June 10, 2014, 03:08:16 PM
[gripe]I went to this art show/salon/performance thingy this weekend. The art, I dug, the event was cool...the performance was...otherwise. Shit bugs me on a profound level.

Mainly it was that I could see that the performers (not previously theatrical performers) spent a good deal of time working on getting their ideas out and like next to no time rehearsing or polishing their performance. I see these kind of train wrecks a lot and it pisses me off because it basically screams at how easy people seem to think it is to pull off this thing that a lot of people have ripped their own heart out to get even passable at.

One of the dudes was a dancer, the other a musician, and I'm curious at what point they decided that unlike either of those disciplines, you can just write down a 10+ minute monologue, sketch out some rough idea of what you want the action to be, and that's the sum total of the craft. I felt pretty bad for the main orator as he sweated, stammered, stumbled, and hyperventilated...but at the same time, fuck his arrogant ass. Lesson learned, dude![/gripe]

You'd think they would have rehearsed at least ONCE in order to get the sense that they were going to need to rehearse it a whole lot more to get good at it. I mean, even if you're just doing a speech and not acting, it takes several runs to get fluent with it.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: The Suu on June 10, 2014, 04:11:41 PM
Jesus fuck, another school shooting this morning in Oregon.

Whenever there is a shooting that makes headlines, there are typically a few shootings trailing it in the news, and sometimes it can seem like there's a rash or epidemic. Sometimes that's true, and other times, it's because shootings that would not have been reported outside of their local area are being linked. It can be really hard to tell the difference between increased violence and changes in reporting.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."