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Open Bar: Funnier Than White People Practicing Voodoo

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, June 09, 2014, 03:18:31 PM

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Cain

Heh.  I could get paid £20 an hour investigating benefit fraud.

Not only is this vastly more than people on benefits actually get, I am almost tempted to apply, simply to then declare after I get the job that I have investigated my own CV and found I lied about my experience, and then demand payment for shopping myself in.

Oh, and the Tories are hiring as well, but there is some shit I will not do, no matter the pay.

Cain

Some wit has taken the email "Jacobinghazi" and set up this image gallery, in response to the twitter storm/rape/bro debacle I mentioned before

http://imgur.com/a/nUX1A

LMNO

Quote from: Cain on June 12, 2014, 02:59:51 PM
Not only is this vastly more than people on benefits actually get, I am almost tempted to apply, simply to then declare after I get the job that I have investigated my own CV and found I lied about my experience, and then demand payment for shopping myself in.

Fairly clever idea.  It only works once, though.

Roly Poly Oly-Garch

Quote from: Cain on June 12, 2014, 03:02:01 PM
Some wit has taken the email "Jacobinghazi" and set up this image gallery, in response to the twitter storm/rape/bro debacle I mentioned before

http://imgur.com/a/nUX1A

THAT...was so hard to follow.
Back to the fecal matter in the pool

trippinprincezz13

So my mom decided to send me, my brother and sister a letter one of my half-brothers sent my Father. Right off the bat, I have a feeling my dad doesn't know she did since, since I'm sure if he really wanted me to see it, he would have sent it himself. It essentially boils down to my half-siblings sounding upset that since the divorce, my (our) father hasn't been as involved in their lives as he has with his "new" family, which may or may not be due in part to (or at least encouraged by) my mother.

It sounded sincere, wasn't unnecessarily hostile, even to an extent lamenting that both sides of the family weren't closer, but I know my mother expects me to somehow be outraged by what "his horrible kids said now". I know there are two sides to every divorce, and I was barely alive when all of this was happening, so I don't know who said what or made what efforts or whatever (though I know it should be the responsibility of the adult to reach out to the kids/teenagers), I have no clue what his ex-wife was like. I love my parents, but no-one's perfect, as my mom seems to think. Has my father neglected those relationships? Possibly. Have his kids said/done some hurtful things in more recent years? Possibly. But was there reason for it? Maybe. Has my mother been unnecessarily hostile (even if not overtly) to them? Probably. Did it stem from something that happened when I was too young to remember? Maybe, but I also know she doesn't seem to make any effort to see things from their side.

The main point being, WHY THE FUCK would she show me this? I'm not going to come out and call my Dad a neglectful asshole because I don't know what he may or may not have done or tried to do. But I'm not going to call my half-brother an asshole for what...wishing his father had a bigger part in his life, his siblings and their children? WTF. Hell my boyfriend's on the other end of this - his dad was fairly absent from his and his brother's lives after their parents divorce and he seems to be flourishing with his new kids. And to an extent seems to be making more of an effort to be involved in his sons' lives. So I see both sides of the coin here.

I can only hope I will not have to deal with this on Father's Day, since I don't think my dad knows I've seen it, so I doubt my mom will bring it up.
There's no sun shine coming through her ass, if you are sure of your penis.

Paranoia is a disease unto itself, and may I add, the person standing next to you, may not be who they appear to be, so take precaution.

If there is no order in your sexual life it may be difficult to stay with a whole skin.

Cain

Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on June 12, 2014, 03:29:21 PM
Quote from: Cain on June 12, 2014, 03:02:01 PM
Some wit has taken the email "Jacobinghazi" and set up this image gallery, in response to the twitter storm/rape/bro debacle I mentioned before

http://imgur.com/a/nUX1A

THAT...was so hard to follow.

True, but it's still easier than trying to follow the debacle on Twitter and the blogs.  Trust me...I learnt that by painful personal experience.

LMNO

Trippin, I'd be more upset at your mom than your dad.  Before you even get to the content of the letter, her actions of sending you and your siblings private correspondence without your dad's knowledge is not cool.

trippinprincezz13

#202
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 12, 2014, 03:47:11 PM
Trippin, I'd be more upset at your mom than your dad.  Before you even get to the content of the letter, her actions of sending you and your siblings private correspondence without your dad's knowledge is not cool.

I agree. I am really too baffled and mortified at her behavior to begin to even consider anything my dad may or may not have done. And while he is an adult responsible for his own choices, more and more lately I get the feeling my mom had a strong influence in what he may or may not have done. Especially given that I notice that her behavior isn't exactly always charitable or sensitive to his feelings when it doesn't involve his other kids. Which I brought up not too long ago (not including the half-siblings part) and was chastised for it ("just teasing!" "well he does x"). I love my mom, but her attitude towards others sometimes leaves a bad taste in my mouth and it's quite uncomfortable.

And just so much the bolded part. WTF. If she expects outrage, it's not going to be directed towards them right now. Haven't talked to my brother and sister so don't know their take on it, but fuck. I don't know why she has such a hate-on for his kids, but if she's so sensitive to my dad's feelings maybe she shouldn't be prying through his mail.
There's no sun shine coming through her ass, if you are sure of your penis.

Paranoia is a disease unto itself, and may I add, the person standing next to you, may not be who they appear to be, so take precaution.

If there is no order in your sexual life it may be difficult to stay with a whole skin.

Cain

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 12, 2014, 03:08:47 PM
Quote from: Cain on June 12, 2014, 02:59:51 PM
Not only is this vastly more than people on benefits actually get, I am almost tempted to apply, simply to then declare after I get the job that I have investigated my own CV and found I lied about my experience, and then demand payment for shopping myself in.

Fairly clever idea.  It only works once, though.

Yeah, but that one time would be hilarious.

Kinda like my idea of getting jobs as both a Labour and a Tory party researcher, and then offering to work for the other, then selling the entire story to the press.

Also, sorry to hear that Trippin.  My reaction is much the same as LMNO.

LMNO

Quote from: Cain on June 12, 2014, 04:12:30 PM
Kinda like my idea of getting jobs as both a Labour and a Tory party researcher, and then offering to work for the other, then selling the entire story to the press.

That's a book deal, right there.

Roly Poly Oly-Garch

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 12, 2014, 03:47:11 PM
Trippin, I'd be more upset at your mom than your dad.  Before you even get to the content of the letter, her actions of sending you and your siblings private correspondence without your dad's knowledge is not cool.

Seems such a confounding thing to share. This is the kind of thing I could see my mom doing back in the day (she couldn't stand a couple of my half-sibs). It's horrible and for the life of me, I'll never understand the thought processes that go into parents doing shit like this.
Back to the fecal matter in the pool

trippinprincezz13

Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on June 12, 2014, 04:19:02 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 12, 2014, 03:47:11 PM
Trippin, I'd be more upset at your mom than your dad.  Before you even get to the content of the letter, her actions of sending you and your siblings private correspondence without your dad's knowledge is not cool.

Seems such a confounding thing to share. This is the kind of thing I could see my mom doing back in the day (she couldn't stand a couple of my half-sibs). It's horrible and for the life of me, I'll never understand the thought processes that go into parents doing shit like this.

I'm noticing it more and more and I don't like it. That's not the person I try to be and typically not the type of person I tolerate. And really, I don't get it. She says it's "because of how they treated your father"...but I don't know. She always has to find something negative or take something neutral and try to spin it negatively. I really don't see what they "did" except maybe not be thrilled about Dad finding a new wife and having new kids and perhaps, possibly understandably, becoming bitter over it.

Again, I don't know the whole story, and I'm not trying to say my dad was a horrible father or anything. I don't know the situation, don't know what his ex was like, don't know what transpired during and after the divorce. But I do know that he doesn't seem to have this hatred for his kids that my mom does.
There's no sun shine coming through her ass, if you are sure of your penis.

Paranoia is a disease unto itself, and may I add, the person standing next to you, may not be who they appear to be, so take precaution.

If there is no order in your sexual life it may be difficult to stay with a whole skin.

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

Quote from: trippinprincezz13 on June 12, 2014, 04:34:42 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on June 12, 2014, 04:19:02 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 12, 2014, 03:47:11 PM
Trippin, I'd be more upset at your mom than your dad.  Before you even get to the content of the letter, her actions of sending you and your siblings private correspondence without your dad's knowledge is not cool.

Seems such a confounding thing to share. This is the kind of thing I could see my mom doing back in the day (she couldn't stand a couple of my half-sibs). It's horrible and for the life of me, I'll never understand the thought processes that go into parents doing shit like this.

I'm noticing it more and more and I don't like it. That's not the person I try to be and typically not the type of person I tolerate. And really, I don't get it. She says it's "because of how they treated your father"...but I don't know. She always has to find something negative or take something neutral and try to spin it negatively. I really don't see what they "did" except maybe not be thrilled about Dad finding a new wife and having new kids and perhaps, possibly understandably, becoming bitter over it.

Again, I don't know the whole story, and I'm not trying to say my dad was a horrible father or anything. I don't know the situation, don't know what his ex was like, don't know what transpired during and after the divorce. But I do know that he doesn't seem to have this hatred for his kids that my mom does.

Tell your mom irrational hate makes you age faster so you gave it up in favor of LOLCAT pictures. And then tell her it was a dick move to steal your dad's letter and pass it around like rage!porn. It sounds like she has an inferiority complex since she wasn't "the first". The first choice, the first Mrs. Whatsit, whatever.

I don't actually know, though. So you can ignore the unsolicited advice and skip to the commiseration.

Man, that sucks, trippin. I hope it gets sorted out and you don't have to attack your mom with Duct Tape on Father's Day. Although if you happen to have a roll of the festive colored stuff, maybe it will add some zest to the festivities?
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 12, 2014, 06:26:14 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 12, 2014, 05:46:57 AM
Unrelated, but is it  just me, or does it look like there's a guy in blue pants standing behind me in my avatar? It's kind of creeping me out.

You mean there wasn't someone standing behind you? I thought there was, all this time.

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 12, 2014, 12:17:36 PM

There's something in blue pants standing behind you in your avatar.

Well, that's fucking weird.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Cain on June 12, 2014, 03:02:01 PM
Some wit has taken the email "Jacobinghazi" and set up this image gallery, in response to the twitter storm/rape/bro debacle I mentioned before

http://imgur.com/a/nUX1A

:lulz: Wow.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."