Open Bar: Funnier Than White People Practicing Voodoo

[The Good Reverend Roger]

If you're gonna croak on the toilet like The King, at least be upper-decking the fucking thing.

[Junkenstein]

Stinking headache. Foul mood. Meeting with employer shortly to explain that the price for upcoming work is that price because that is what the man has in the budget. No more, no less. You can make all the fancy spreadsheets you like, the price will still be EXACTLY THE SAME as what the budget is.

I have rarely worked with someone who is so resistant to getting work and making a profit. It's maddening beyond belief.

"I want a 25% margin on this"
"You can have 5%. This is fair, reasonable and will win us the work and place us in a good position to win future works"
"I want 25%"
"I want a private island and your arse on the sun. Life is cruel"
"20%? Do you think they'll go for that?"
"I'm speaking English, right? If you want to lose the work, why not go 30%? Hell, why not go 50%"
"50% is just taking the piss"
"So is anything higher than 5. Would you like to suggest another number, perhaps single digit, below 6?"
"15%?"
"What. The Fuck. I'm going for a smoke and I'll submit the price later"
"At what percent?"


On the plus side, I look increasingly more competent, just by being in the same room.

[Pæs]

XPost from Faceblag: Today I finally sorted out ducting for my dryer, after seeking advice from a couple of stores on the best option. Showed them the exact model we have, asked about the best way to vent air out of it. Eventually, bought about $150 worth of adapter and hosing. Attached this to my dryer, vented temporarily out a window. Ran a load of towels.

An hour later, they are still cold and wet.

Decided to READ THE FUCKING MANUAL. Oh. I have run a hose from outside to the AIR INTAKE HOLE, blowing cold, wet outside air over my towels and lamenting that they remain cold and also wet.

This would have been helpful information to have had in the store.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

I'm getting threatened with an illegal eviction and some very serious lies about my conduct.

Who would do such a thing? My unborn child's grandparents.

Yeah, I have my helmet on, but I don't think it was designed for this.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Foster kid is stealing from housemates, staying up all night drunk, leaving my studio door open, and generally being a liability. I am about at the end of my rope and considering sending her on her way, which sucks.

[LMNO]

Ugh, shitty situations for both of you.  That sucks.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Foster kid is stealing from housemates, staying up all night drunk, leaving my studio door open, and generally being a liability. I am about at the end of my rope and considering sending her on her way, which sucks.

Is this Surprise!Daughter or someone else?

[Raz Tech]

Got a half day off of work to prepare for the hurricane.  The one that isn't supposed to get closer than 80 miles to where I live.  Stupid, but there are worse things that can happen than a half day before a 4 day weekend.  Then my boss texts me "hey, are you prepared for this hurricane?
reply:





Everything is under control

[LMNO]

Your ration of cat seems to be in good order. 


Didn't know you were an East coast-er.  Which state?

[Raz Tech]

Virginia

[Junkenstein]

That looks like half a bottle of whiskey.

Are you quite sure you're adequately prepared?

[LMNO]

I was assuming the other half was already inside Raz.

[LMNO]

Virginia

Good to know.  Spent some time in MD, back in the day.



I just realized that's a complete non-sequitor.  Small Talk Fail.

[Junkenstein]

I was assuming the other half was already inside Raz.

By that logic, so's half the milk.

That's a recipe for a bad time.

[Raz Tech]

That looks like half a bottle of whiskey.

Are you quite sure you're adequately prepared?

You raise a valid point.  I suppose if push comes to shove out can be supplemented with malt liquor from the gas station down the street, but it is now apparent that I must re-evaluate my disaster preparedness.