Open Bar: Funnier Than White People Practicing Voodoo

[Suu]

I'm currently giggling my ass off over German compound words, because they can be totally absurd.

For those that aren't familiar with the language, German is actually quite flexible, and you can garble nouns together to make a super noun if you won't come up with a new word.

Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz is the record breaker, and all it is is the law for the delegation of monitoring beef labeling. That was removed when the delegation ended in the late 90s. However, it made one of my German professors laugh her ass off every time she told us, because even for the German people it was absurd.

Unabhaengigkeitserklaerungen is literally independencedeclarations. I think they needed to come up with a word for the US Declaration for their history books, and that is what they got.

I may not be cool enough to post about science and crazy smart people shit on PD, but I do have a fine affinity for fucked up languages, so when Latin makes me mad, I can always just go back to German. 

How does that even work? I mean, I know we have compound words too, but after a certain point, we're like, kay guys, you might as well just say a full sentence, use an acronym, or come up with a new bisyllabic word. We don't have all day.

That IS their way of coming up with a new word, though, and anybody can do it. They aren't a very slang or short-hand culture and still have both formal and informal pronouns. They don't even have a word for friend. They have friends plural, boyfriend, and girlfriend, and lover/partner (Lebensabschnittpartner!) . That's it. Although you can use Freund/Freundin for friend, you typically don't. You just say you're going out to a movie with so and so, not your friend so and so. Unless you're going out with friends, then it's Freunde/n/m, do not confuse with Freundin. 

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I'm currently giggling my ass off over German compound words, because they can be totally absurd.

For those that aren't familiar with the language, German is actually quite flexible, and you can garble nouns together to make a super noun if you won't come up with a new word.

Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz is the record breaker, and all it is is the law for the delegation of monitoring beef labeling. That was removed when the delegation ended in the late 90s. However, it made one of my German professors laugh her ass off every time she told us, because even for the German people it was absurd.

Unabhaengigkeitserklaerungen is literally independencedeclarations. I think they needed to come up with a word for the US Declaration for their history books, and that is what they got.

I may not be cool enough to post about science and crazy smart people shit on PD, but I do have a fine affinity for fucked up languages, so when Latin makes me mad, I can always just go back to German. 

How does that even work? I mean, I know we have compound words too, but after a certain point, we're like, kay guys, you might as well just say a full sentence, use an acronym, or come up with a new bisyllabic word. We don't have all day.

That IS their way of coming up with a new word, though, and anybody can do it. They aren't a very slang or short-hand culture and still have both formal and informal pronouns. They don't even have a word for friend. They have friends plural, boyfriend, and girlfriend, and lover/partner (Lebensabschnittpartner!) . That's it. Although you can use Freunde/Freundin for friend, you typically don't. You just say you're going out to a movie with so and so, not your friend so and so. Unless you're going out with friends, then it's Freunden, do not confuse with Freundin. 

I'm hanging out with der Jens
I'm hanging out with meinem friends
But Jens is not a friend. We lack the word for that.

[Suu]

I'm currently giggling my ass off over German compound words, because they can be totally absurd.

For those that aren't familiar with the language, German is actually quite flexible, and you can garble nouns together to make a super noun if you won't come up with a new word.

Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz is the record breaker, and all it is is the law for the delegation of monitoring beef labeling. That was removed when the delegation ended in the late 90s. However, it made one of my German professors laugh her ass off every time she told us, because even for the German people it was absurd.

Unabhaengigkeitserklaerungen is literally independencedeclarations. I think they needed to come up with a word for the US Declaration for their history books, and that is what they got.

I may not be cool enough to post about science and crazy smart people shit on PD, but I do have a fine affinity for fucked up languages, so when Latin makes me mad, I can always just go back to German. 

How does that even work? I mean, I know we have compound words too, but after a certain point, we're like, kay guys, you might as well just say a full sentence, use an acronym, or come up with a new bisyllabic word. We don't have all day.

That IS their way of coming up with a new word, though, and anybody can do it. They aren't a very slang or short-hand culture and still have both formal and informal pronouns. They don't even have a word for friend. They have friends plural, boyfriend, and girlfriend, and lover/partner (Lebensabschnittpartner!) . That's it. Although you can use Freunde/Freundin for friend, you typically don't. You just say you're going out to a movie with so and so, not your friend so and so. Unless you're going out with friends, then it's Freunden, do not confuse with Freundin. 

I'm hanging out with der Jens
I'm hanging out with meinem friends
But Jens is not a friend. We lack the word for that.

They don't like saying love, either. You drop the liebe dich and you better be ready to put a ring on it. My German prof in college was amazing, since she was actually German, so she was able to really help us understand the fucked up way the Germans express emotion, which makes them seem robotic. They just tend to hold interpersonal relationships in a higher regard, I think. Not to mention, top notch sense of humor. But from what I can tell, the Swiss and Austrians aren't as stoic.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Wait.

That IS their way of coming up with a new word, though, and anybody can do it. They aren't a very slang or short-hand culture and still have both formal and informal pronouns. They don't even have a word for friend. They have friends plural, boyfriend, and girlfriend, and lover/partner (Lebensabschnittpartner!) . That's it. Although you can use Freunde/Freundin for friend, you typically don't. You just say you're going out to a movie with so and so, not your friend so and so. Unless you're going out with friends, then it's Freunden, do not confuse with Freundin. 

How do you say:

PersonIholdinhighregardandmaintainamutuallybeneficialplatonicrelationshipwithgenerallyinthecontextoftimepassingandoccasionallymoralsupportorilladvisedshenanigans

Boom. I made a German word for friend.

[Suu]

Wait.

That IS their way of coming up with a new word, though, and anybody can do it. They aren't a very slang or short-hand culture and still have both formal and informal pronouns. They don't even have a word for friend. They have friends plural, boyfriend, and girlfriend, and lover/partner (Lebensabschnittpartner!) . That's it. Although you can use Freunde/Freundin for friend, you typically don't. You just say you're going out to a movie with so and so, not your friend so and so. Unless you're going out with friends, then it's Freunden, do not confuse with Freundin. 

How do you say:

PersonIholdinhighregardandmaintainamutuallybeneficialplatonicrelationshipwithgenerallyinthecontextoftimepassingandoccasionallymoralsupportorilladvisedshenanigans

Boom. I made a German word for friend.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Wait.

That IS their way of coming up with a new word, though, and anybody can do it. They aren't a very slang or short-hand culture and still have both formal and informal pronouns. They don't even have a word for friend. They have friends plural, boyfriend, and girlfriend, and lover/partner (Lebensabschnittpartner!) . That's it. Although you can use Freunde/Freundin for friend, you typically don't. You just say you're going out to a movie with so and so, not your friend so and so. Unless you're going out with friends, then it's Freunden, do not confuse with Freundin. 

How do you say:

PersonIholdinhighregardandmaintainamutuallybeneficialplatonicrelationshipwithgenerallyinthecontextoftimepassingandoccasionallymoralsupportorilladvisedshenanigans

Boom. I made a German word for friend.

[Suu]

Maybe this helps:

English-speaking people find it quite easy to mix their business and social lives, to talk about their jobs at a cocktail party or mix with colleagues in a social setting. Until recently this was not the case in Germany, where business and social life were kept quite separate, and it was even considered inappropriate to discuss one's personal life at work, or work issues in a social environment. American and British people working in German companies were surprised by the way that their colleagues could work together for twenty-five years and never once address each other by their first names, or use the personal pronoun "du" (the intimate form of "you"), and by the fact that they might know next to nothing about each other's private lives. Things have lightened up since those days, but an element of this remains, particularly among the older generation. To people who are used to forming many of their friendships, and even romantic relationships, with colleagues at the office, this separation of work and social life can be quite frustrating, but for the Germans it is perfectly natural. Quite simply, they have another system.

Friendship means something quite special to the Germans and its not a term they use lightly. Most Germans have a small, closely knit circle of friends, and a wider network of acquaintances. Their friendships are generally formed at school and university, and are often quite local. American and British people tend to have more friends, but the relationship is often looser. For the German friendships are made much more slowly, but once made are closer and last for life. So it is important for visitors to Germany to recognise that friendships are not made quickly or casually, and are not formed in the office. It is also important to remember that the Germans keep private and public life separate.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Maybe this helps:

English-speaking people find it quite easy to mix their business and social lives, to talk about their jobs at a cocktail party or mix with colleagues in a social setting. Until recently this was not the case in Germany, where business and social life were kept quite separate, and it was even considered inappropriate to discuss one's personal life at work, or work issues in a social environment. American and British people working in German companies were surprised by the way that their colleagues could work together for twenty-five years and never once address each other by their first names, or use the personal pronoun "du" (the intimate form of "you"), and by the fact that they might know next to nothing about each other's private lives. Things have lightened up since those days, but an element of this remains, particularly among the older generation. To people who are used to forming many of their friendships, and even romantic relationships, with colleagues at the office, this separation of work and social life can be quite frustrating, but for the Germans it is perfectly natural. Quite simply, they have another system.

Friendship means something quite special to the Germans and its not a term they use lightly. Most Germans have a small, closely knit circle of friends, and a wider network of acquaintances. Their friendships are generally formed at school and university, and are often quite local. American and British people tend to have more friends, but the relationship is often looser. For the German friendships are made much more slowly, but once made are closer and last for life. So it is important for visitors to Germany to recognise that friendships are not made quickly or casually, and are not formed in the office. It is also important to remember that the Germans keep private and public life separate.

That would be jarring.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

My former housemate took German while she was working on her PhD, she similarly obsessed over how adorbs it was.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I'm picturing an office conversation with a random Anglophone dropped into the mix. Or maybe two.

Rupert: Oi there 'ans! 'ow's it?
Hans: Mmmpf
Sean: I tell ya wat dood. This is some wicked good coffee.
Rupert: Oi fink the tea's be'ah to be quoite honest.
Sean: Hans, dood, waddaya do fer fun? Roops an' I are thinkin' of goin' out and gettin' wicked shitfaced at Oktobahfist.
Hans: :blank stare:
Rupert: Oi, mate, youw aww roight?
Sean: Hey I was just thinkin' why do you call Munich Munchen? Do they have a lotta snacks theyah?
Hans: Your talkink is inappropriate.
Rupert: Sorry mate.
Sean: We'll stop the swearin' sorry
Hans: No, your talkink at all is inappropriate! You're makink me talk too! 

[Suu]

My former housemate took German while she was working on her PhD, she similarly obsessed over how adorbs it was.

It's so much fun! The grammar can be a bit annoying compared to English, but not too bad. Not Latin bad.

Maybe this helps:

English-speaking people find it quite easy to mix their business and social lives, to talk about their jobs at a cocktail party or mix with colleagues in a social setting. Until recently this was not the case in Germany, where business and social life were kept quite separate, and it was even considered inappropriate to discuss one's personal life at work, or work issues in a social environment. American and British people working in German companies were surprised by the way that their colleagues could work together for twenty-five years and never once address each other by their first names, or use the personal pronoun "du" (the intimate form of "you"), and by the fact that they might know next to nothing about each other's private lives. Things have lightened up since those days, but an element of this remains, particularly among the older generation. To people who are used to forming many of their friendships, and even romantic relationships, with colleagues at the office, this separation of work and social life can be quite frustrating, but for the Germans it is perfectly natural. Quite simply, they have another system.

Friendship means something quite special to the Germans and its not a term they use lightly. Most Germans have a small, closely knit circle of friends, and a wider network of acquaintances. Their friendships are generally formed at school and university, and are often quite local. American and British people tend to have more friends, but the relationship is often looser. For the German friendships are made much more slowly, but once made are closer and last for life. So it is important for visitors to Germany to recognise that friendships are not made quickly or casually, and are not formed in the office. It is also important to remember that the Germans keep private and public life separate.

That would be jarring.

It's just how they're wired. They're a culture of efficiency, always have been. The Romans couldn't cross the Rhine easily for a reason.

[Suu]

I'm picturing an office conversation with a random Anglophone dropped into the mix. Or maybe two.

Rupert: Oi there 'ans! 'ow's it?
Hans: Mmmpf
Sean: I tell ya wat dood. This is some wicked good coffee.
Rupert: Oi fink the tea's be'ah to be quoite honest.
Sean: Hans, dood, waddaya do fer fun? Roops an' I are thinkin' of goin' out and gettin' wicked shitfaced at Oktobahfist.
Hans: :blank stare:
Rupert: Oi, mate, youw aww roight?
Sean: Hey I was just thinkin' why do you call Munich Munchen? Do they have a lotta snacks theyah?
Hans: Your talkink is inappropriate.
Rupert: Sorry mate.
Sean: We'll stop the swearin' sorry
Hans: No, your talkink at all is inappropriate! You're makink me talk too! 

This is exactly why they declared war against England and the US. Twice.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I'm picturing an office conversation with a random Anglophone dropped into the mix. Or maybe two.

Rupert: Oi there 'ans! 'ow's it?
Hans: Mmmpf
Sean: I tell ya wat dood. This is some wicked good coffee.
Rupert: Oi fink the tea's be'ah to be quoite honest.
Sean: Hans, dood, waddaya do fer fun? Roops an' I are thinkin' of goin' out and gettin' wicked shitfaced at Oktobahfist.
Hans: :blank stare:
Rupert: Oi, mate, youw aww roight?
Sean: Hey I was just thinkin' why do you call Munich Munchen? Do they have a lotta snacks theyah?
Hans: Your talkink is inappropriate.
Rupert: Sorry mate.
Sean: We'll stop the swearin' sorry
Hans: No, your talkink at all is inappropriate! You're makink me talk too! 

This is exactly why they declared war against England and the US. Twice.

And lost, presumably.

Italy: Um.... Little help?
Germany: Vat did vee say about zee talkink?!?!

[Suu]

I'm picturing an office conversation with a random Anglophone dropped into the mix. Or maybe two.

Rupert: Oi there 'ans! 'ow's it?
Hans: Mmmpf
Sean: I tell ya wat dood. This is some wicked good coffee.
Rupert: Oi fink the tea's be'ah to be quoite honest.
Sean: Hans, dood, waddaya do fer fun? Roops an' I are thinkin' of goin' out and gettin' wicked shitfaced at Oktobahfist.
Hans: :blank stare:
Rupert: Oi, mate, youw aww roight?
Sean: Hey I was just thinkin' why do you call Munich Munchen? Do they have a lotta snacks theyah?
Hans: Your talkink is inappropriate.
Rupert: Sorry mate.
Sean: We'll stop the swearin' sorry
Hans: No, your talkink at all is inappropriate! You're makink me talk too! 

This is exactly why they declared war against England and the US. Twice.

And lost, presumably.

Italy: Um.... Little help?
Germany: Vat did vee say about zee talkink?!?!

Yeah, but if they would have won, we'd all be speaking the most badass language full of obnoxious Mammutwörter ever. And have a sharp dressed military.  I mean, I hate Nazis. They're bad people...but their tailor was top notch. I could have been a Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän.

...Okay I'll stop now. I need to schlafen.

[Junkenstein]

It's a petty pleasure, but when dealing with bullshit paper it can amuse.

Management meeting minutes today include the following notes/additions:

SECURITY
We employ the filthiest rogues and scoundrels in the land. If we find we're missing anything DM will grab the nearest and shake by the ankles until whatever we're missing falls out.

COMMUNITY ISSUES
The local populace are sub-human and are incapable of raising a complaint or their arms above their shoulders.

LEARNING EVENTS
That cafe was fucking foul. Gave me the shits.

DISCIPLINARY PROCEDURE
If steve doesn't stop whistling that fucking song I'm going to beat him with a rake.


It's a 6 page thing. There's maybe 3/4 areas that actually need attention. The rest is just "has X done his job, which is Y". Strangely, the answer is always "yes" as a "no" would probably lead to the sack because you've done something stupid and/or illegal.