Nightmares, with Spags.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

  That was an amazing addition.

[The Wizard Joseph]

 

WOW! You guys really know how to jam.

[LMNO]

Niiiice.

[Cainad (dec.)]

  the fucking zip gun

[Doktor Howl]

Richter is the pin-puller.  He pulls the pins.  He isn't responsible for anything after that, so you'd best step lively when he hands it to you and asks you to sign on the line.  Accountability uber alles, he says, and he has a point.  So just sign for the fucking thing.  You have 3-7 seconds to accomplish this simple task, and that of making it go 20 meters away from you.  5 meters will probably do, but you will at that point be out of warranty.

This is a family tradition. Richter's grandfather pulled the ordnance arming pins at 20,000 feet, back in '44.  After that, the ordnance was the Germans' problem.  The Germans are very brave and thorough people, but they do not think fast in situations like that; It did not end well.

[Doktor Howl]

Needs more tomorrow.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

YUSSSS

[Ben Shapiro]

yes

[Doktor Howl]

Nigel exists for the children.  She entertains them.  She does magic acts on special occasions, like "saw the man in half", except that she doesn't use a trick box.  There's screaming and blood, but sure as hell, than man is in two pieces.  Nothing up her sleeves, folks.  It's the power of illusion.

She teaches children about the wonders of nature.  The inherent beauty of the bullet ant.  The poetry in motion of the guinea worm.  Some parents complain, but she files them in with the creationists and other science-deniers.  That filing cabinet is getting kinda gross, because they cannot shut up and they cannot explain.  You can see where the first and second example tie in with each other.

She encourages exercise in the nation's youth.  Sometimes she drops them off in the green lane when the tram is due.  Run, kiddies, run!  The lucky children who are selected for this special treat learn a great deal about natural selection.  You could almost say it becomes a religion for them. 

So this is why the children of Portland have a thousand-yard stare.  They are simply engrossed in all the wonders that they have been shown and to which they have been subjected.

[Richter]

Leln curates several books on Nigel at the less-well known library.  This poses several unique challenges.  Mainly, she has to keep the hordes of disaffected wannabes OFF the book (Since reading about Nigel and forming a poor imitation is much safer than asking Nigel how to be Nigel in person) 

Reading Nigel's name with too much interest tends to summon her, and there is inevitable splatter.


Nigel designed the dispatch program for Providence and southeaster Massachusetts EMS.  This should explain a few things.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]