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TESTEMONAIL:  Right and Discordianism allows room for personal interpretation. You have your theories and I have mine. Unlike Christianity, Discordia allows room for ideas and opinions, and mine is well-informed and based on ancient philosophy and theology, so, my neo-Discordian friends, open your minds to my interpretation and I will open my mind to yours. That's fair enough, right? Just claiming to be discordian should mean that your mind is open and willing to learn and share ideas. You guys are fucking bashing me and your laughing at my theologies and my friends know what's up and are laughing at you and honestly this is my last shot at putting a label on my belief structure and your making me lose all hope of ever finding a ideological group I can relate to because you don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about and everything I have said is based on the founding principals of real Discordianism. Expand your mind.

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Excuse me while I complain about getting old.

Started by tyrannosaurus vex, May 14, 2015, 04:03:30 AM

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tyrannosaurus vex

Fuck the following things:

- Hair that migrates to new locations for no reason at all. I always looked forward to having a distinguished gray color in my hair, but now all the places that should be gray are bald. Fuck you, genes.

- The fact that I can't even tell what being hungry feels like anymore. Used to be the simplest thing in the world: stomach growls, eat food. Now? It's like a new Indiana Jones adventure tracking down the source of some new ache or pain or twitch, and always finding out it's just that I need food.

- Being slow to do things that should be instantaneous, like peeing or realizing how dumb John McCain is.

- Wishing the whole neighborhood would just shut up and go inside. Including myself, after about 7PM.

- Yelling at people who can't hear me for things I'm not even sure about, and yelling at people who CAN hear me, for things I'm pretty sure I'm wrong about.

- Resenting young people for doing the same stupid shit I used to do, and don't want to do anymore anyway.

- Realizing that idiots are forever, and almost being OK with that.

- Saying "you damn kids and your toys" and only kidding about 90% of it.

- Preferring a book and a nap over a romp in the sack.

- Seeing all of this happening and being unable to hold it back.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

Q. G. Pennyworth


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