Latest revision as of 22:21, 3 June 2008

Surviving in the Surveillance State

You know you're being watched. Fuck off with your "this is more conspiracy theory garbage" reactions.

This is the truth.

They have cameras, man. The smoke detector in your hotel room is wired. They make cell phone manufacturers put GPS units in every single model, even if they don't use it as a selling point. Just imagine what's in your car. They're onto you, don't doubt that. But so what? If they're going to follow you around and take notes, the least you can do is make sure their investment is worthwhile.

The following will help you to increase the value your tax dollars get:

1. Make conflicting reservations at different hotels at opposite ends of the country, and on that night, sleep in the park under a surveillance camera. Also, if you're too loaded with cash and have nothing better to do, book a one-way ticket to Morocco and never get on the plane.

2. Commit a misdemeanor. These assholes want files on everybody, and if they don't have anything they will make one up. If you get booked for littering or shoplifting a pack of gum, then you're a petty criminal. If they have nothing on you at all, you might end up being a Terrorist Mastermind.

3. Prank-call 911 from pay phones in the rich neighborhoods.

4. Buy things on the Internet from people in Third-World countries. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as it isn't a rug.

5. When going through security checkpoints, embellish your cell phone with nonfunctional wires and switches.

6. With a couple of friends in separate vehicles, organize a pursuit of a DHS van through downtown.

7. Buy a copy of Catcher in the Rye, but sell it on eBay.

8. When you sign for purchases on electronic card-reading devices, sign the words HELLO NSA.

These steps will accomplish nothing, but they will make you feel like a secret operative, fighting a war you don't understand for people who don't even know you exist. And in lieu of any real freedoms, the illusion of participation in your own demise should be considered a civil right.

TAZ Has Ugly, Retarded Cousin

link: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=14068.0

The Temporary Totalitarian Zone is the Machine's answer to the Temporary Autonomous Zone. The idea is that within a matter of hours, an entire city can go from normal Monday afternoon to crawling with heavily armed paramilitary police, and hours after that, they disappear into the ether as quickly as they swarmed in. Designed to reinforce the false notion that the Police really can be everywhere at once, the TTZ is a system of roving police states capable of springing up anywhere at almost a moment's notice in order to assist the powers that be in whatever devious plot they have at a given moment.

In a "post-9/11 world", as we are all constantly reminded we are living in, the vast majority of rubes living out there in la-la land actually welcome the TTZ as it storms down Main Street, feeling extra safe from Terrorists, but never quite catching on to the fact that all it takes is one terse command from the lips of some fat asshole in Washington, and all those guns can be aiming directly at the heads of "innocent" civilians.

Of course, at that point, We the People would probably turn ourselves in for being Terrorists without even knowing we were up to no good.

Anyway, being that the TTZ is a tool for totalitarian schmucks, it is not going to stop here. No, expect the TTZs to increase in duration and frequency until it reaches a point where the Police really are everywhere at once.

Hey Asshole!

link: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=14414.0

Humans are assholes. We want to dominate each other, we get off on power-tripping, we're all pissed off that slavery is "wrong." Every last one of us is constantly calculating everybody else's demise, and none of us are immune. The "nice guys" are up to something, the "peacemakers" are just fighting a different kind of war, the prophets talk nice, until somebody offs them, and then heads roll. Even your sweet old granny was playing you. How do you think she lived so long? She was draining the life force out of all the relatives you never met for 50 years. You always knew there was something in her chocolate chip cookies and now you know what it was.

We have seven billion complete assholes piled on top of each other, all of them talking bullshit and committing indiscriminate acts of psychotic manipulation. You think that can lead to anywhere good? Of course not. It leads to a whole planet covered in disease, war, poverty, and all the other shit those do-gooders interrupt late-night TV to complain about. And you hit the mute button when that shit comes on, don't you. See? You're an asshole, just like me.

And not only are people assholes, they're also stupid. In fact, we are tied for intelligence with dolphins.

Fucking DOLPHINS.

And, after a hundred thousand years of people being shitty to each other, we have reached the point now where we can, with the click of a button, wipe everyone and everything off the face of this ball of dirt we call home. You think that at some point, some dickwad isn't going to actually DO IT? Face it. Humanity is the crowning achievement of evolution -- and if you've been paying attention you'll see that evolution is an asshole, too.

What do you think is gonna happen? What is the cumulative effect of seven billion angry, distrustful, petty, stingy, half-retarded hairless apes who have nothing better to do than kill each other over stupid things like sneakers and imaginary friends? You think that one day, they're all going to see the light and join hands and say I'm sorry? If that's what you beleive, then you need to get some tinfoil and duct tape and build an impenetrable fortress out of sofa cushions in your living room because you are just the sort of person that natural selection is aiming for.

In the end, it's all going to come down to the very thing you're already imagining and have been imagining since the first time you looked at the Evening News. And you know it, so quit deluding yourself into thinking there's something better worth defending.

It's a sideshow out there, and you're the freak. So quit buzzing around the office all fucking day chit-chatting with people you can't really stand, and find your reason to care whether there's a tomorrow or not. Because the way I see it, really caring about something other than your car or your bank account is the only shot this fucked up species has at survival.

Rants

A new kind of "rant" that isn't intended to piss people off (except maybe Discordians). The prevailing technique in media/government propaganda is to take 1% truth (or well-established buzzwords) and apply it to 99% bullshit. Operation SPINBACK reverses this technique -- 1% bullshit to soften the blow and 99% truth. Actual percentages may vary as the situation requires, but the intention is to draw the gullible masses in, making them think they're reading another propaganda piece that makes them feel all warm and fuzzy, and then hit them with "wake up you fucking moron." Two examples follow:

FREEDOM ISN'T FREE

There is a price for everything in this world. Nothing that's worth having is free, and that includes our rights in this country. With everything that could be improved in America, one thing has been true for our entire history -- we are a free people, and we fight for our freedom. With every generation, there is a new threat to that freedom, and we have always met those threats head-on.

When Americans talk about freedom, we mean a lot of things. We mean that we can have opinions that are different than our neighbor's, without having to shoot at each other to figure out who's right. We mean we can go to church on Sunday without worrying who might be plotting to bomb us on the way. Maybe most importantly, we mean that we expect to be treated with respect and with dignity, for no other reason than that we are human beings with a right to live.

To secure that freedom, there has always been a price. Sometimes, that price has been paid in gold. More often, it has been paid with the blood of Americans who take up arms against the enemies of liberty. And recently, the price was paid with the blood of unarmed innocents in the first major strike of a new war. We cannot deny that today, as always, we must remain vigilant if we are to remain free.

We know that the price of freedom is a heavy one. Some are asked to give up their lifes in its defense; some, like many during the last World War, are asked to give up instant gratification. Today, however, many believe that the burden of paying for our freedom rests solely on the backs of our soldiers. It seems that while outside our borders there is a war raging -- with our freedom hanging in the balance -- but here at home, civilians are not asked to sacrifice anything.

But this war is costing us something at home. In one of history's great ironies, the American People have latched on to the belief that the best way to safeguard our liberty is by giving it up. While we herald the bravery of our men and women in uniform at the many fronts in the War on Terror, we have effectively given our President and the Congress a blank check to spend from our reserves of domestic freedom at their discretion.

Rightfully, we appreciate every loss of life or limb that is sustained by our armed forces in the cause of saving liberty and civilization. But we have begun to pay for our freedom in the corrupt currency of complacence; we say the word "freedom" but what we really mean, in many cases, is "conformity" and "obedience." We insult one another when we disagree; our national dialogue has become a contest of buzzwords and slogans; we avoid listening to each other at all costs. We believe every word that comes rattling out of the TV; we heed the admonitions and directives of the politicians as if politicians are capable of anything beyond pandering and posturing; we have come to trust and depend upon the institutions we created two centuries ago merely as necessary evils.

Freedom is not free -- that is absolutely true. But its price cannot be paid by unquestioning loyalty to anyone, regardless of their intentions. Its price cannot be paid by blending in with the masses and doggedly obeying the demands of an opportunist government. Like your faith, your freedom is something that cannot be simply bestowed upon you: it is something you must claim if it is to be of any value at all. The price you pay for each is eternal vigilance against anyone who can separate you from it: not only powerful foreign foes, but your own greed, your own ignorance, and anyone who professes to be defending you while simultaneously tying your hands.[/i]

SUPPORT THE TROOPS

Right now, half a world away in a sunbleached windblown hellhole, there are thousands of Americans risking their lives so you can stay cozy and comfortable. Almost every day, a few of them die and attain the honor of having given their lives in pursuit of someone else's happiness and liberty. This is a fact of living as an American in today's world with so many threats to our domestic peace. We cannot all serve in this way, and there are many who do much to defend us without ever picking up a weapon or coming within miles of a combat zone. Nevertheless, our troops are our nation's teeth and claws -- and when push comes to shove they are the ones who state unequivocolly that America will not become subservient to another nation -- because we, the People, demand liberty and will settle for nothing less.

It is only right then that in order to justify their sacrifice, and to faithfully honor what they have given us, that we practice the freedom for which many of them have died. To allow such noble men and women to give up everything so we can be free, and then to simply walk in line with an ungrateful majority of Americans who hardly notice, is the most insulting and selfish thing I can imagine.

If your liberty has been saved by a soldier -- and it has -- then how unthankful must you be not to take advantage of that liberty? Of course, most Americans do make good use of that liberty. But there are some who don't seem to get it. These are the people who will always jump at the chance to put soldiers in harms way to "defend our freedom," but themselves don't seem to appreciate that freedom.

When, for example, someobdy doesn't dress the way they should, or when someone speaks out against some government policy or politician, or when there are large movements in our country to affect democratic change, these unappreciative war-mongers will be the first to call for an end to freedom of speech. When someone chooses a religion that seems abnormal, or refuses to have their children indocrinated with any kind of religious dogma at the hands of the public education system, these people who profess to be glad that our freedom is being protected from Islamofascism will be the first to declare it "unfair" that some Americans choose to exercise their freedom of (or from) religion!

To go about our daily lives doing only what is expected of us, or obeying ridiculous laws, or signing over our private affairs to government scrutiny and bureaucracy, we are actually spitting on the faces of our fallen heroes in uniform. Every time we blindly assert that supporting America always means supporting our President, we are dancing on their graves. If we, without any critical thinking or skepticism, always believe everything we are told to believe by the government or by the media, then we are not only taking for granted the freedom we claim to love, but we are killing it. "Use it or lose it" is never more true than it is with freedom.

It should be clear by now that supporting our troops must be more than a bumper sticker: it must be practiced every single day, regardless of who is standing between us and freedom. To support the troops is to exercise every one of our rights, loudly. Anything less is a lie that eventually leads directly to forfeiture of everything our brave soldiers have died to defend.[/i]

Combatting Absurdity

link: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=12849.0

There's unrest in the hills.

There's an open wounds in the inner city, and it's bleeding contempt down Park Avenue.

There's a great clamouring mob marching down the mountain. And they're sick and tired of where the assholes in City Hall are driving their town. They're determined to make things right.

And they're destined to fail.

The Human Race has made up it's mind. It's been centuries since we stopped pondering what to do and set out to make it a reality. There is no more debate. We're heading for the cliff and you're not gonna stop this herd of lemmings.

Quit writing your Senators. Quit calling the late-night radio talk shows. Quit signing petitions. The fight was lost long before you were ever born. Sure, we've got a lot of fight left in us, but it's all the wrong KIND of fight. So just pack your bags and move to someplace at least 25 miles away from anything on a map.

A thousand years ago, we killed each other to get rid of INFIDELITY.

500 years ago, we killed each other to get rid of INJUSTICE.

50 years ago, we killed each other to get rid of INEQUALITY.

All of those things are STILL AROUND. But do you think it's going to change our minds? FUCK NO, THERE'S A NEW WAR NOW.

Now we're killing each other to get rid of INCONVENIENCE.

And if you're asking anybody to lay down 5 minutes and THINK about what they're doing, well, you gotta expect what you get. Because thinking about your actions can be pretty fucking INCONVENIENT. It might have gotten somewhere 50 or 100 years ago, but that's before Inconvenience Itself was the ENEMY.

That herd of pissed off bipeds is going to be beaten. Welcome to the Next American Century and age of the Last Primate Revolt.