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From Cainad of PD.com

The Book of Dewlap

Zarath the Confused Sage was speaking with his companions during teatime (being an American, who was in America at that time, this meant he was having tea at the proper, Greenwich Mean Time when it was the middle of the working day according to his local time zone. It made no difference), when one of them asked a question of him:

"Zarath, the conundrum that we know as the 'Chicken or the egg' argument has vexed me lately. Which came first?"

Sipping his tea, Zarath realized too late that the tea was very hot, and he proceeded to burn his tongue. Unable to answer the question, he waved his hand in an attempt to get another to speak for him.

Rising to meet the Confused and now Slightly Burned Sage's needs, a perceptive young companion spoke aloud: "What Zarath means to say is that neither the chicken nor the egg seems to give a damn which came first, so we may conclude that they were born, simultaneously, from a potato bug."

Satisfied, Zarath shrugged and those present were enlightened.

Dismembership Application For Society In General

In response to the growing disillusionment with mainstream society among the intelligent, perceptive, and those who like to think they belong to either of those categories, Your Government has dutifully provided you with a means of estranging yourself from "normal people" in a quick, efficient, and safe manner. Please complete this form to the best of your ability.

1. I prefer to be labeled as (pick one): [ ] Deviant [ ] Weirdo [ ] Oddball [ ] Eccentric [ ] Outlandish [ ] Other (please specify):______________

2. I will distance myself from others by being a (select all that apply): [ ] Hermit [ ] Crazy cat person [ ] Street corner soapbox preacher [ ] Discordian [ ] SubGenius [ ] Drug addict [ ] Computer geek [ ] Furry [ ] Hippie [ ] Goth [ ] Emo [ ] Wiccan/Pagan [ ] Satanist [ ] Vegetable [ ] Catholic priest [ ] Wanker [ ] Other (please specify):______________

3. Will your estrangement be genuine, or will you be a poser? [ ] Genuine [ ] Poser

4. Explain in the space provided what makes you think you can ever actually escape from us: ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________