Latest revision as of 16:06, 16 October 2009

So there we were, Discordians in the year 2008 or 2009. The party started on a forum, but it spread. It rocked the entire 50thish year of grand and glory old Discordja. Nobody's sure whether it was 1958 or 1959 when Malaclypse and Omar met Eris, so we're counting 2008-2009 as a sort of bigass 50th birthday.

This should go without saying, but it's been a strange year.

We made up this opensource magazine called Intermittens which anyone can write. Go ahead and edit an issue if you'd like. We threw a Jake Day that convinced Stephen Colbert to join our sect of the Bavarian Illuminati. We tore Discordia apart like a pack of wild dogs. Saint Mae buried her at Kallisticon. And now Eris is Returning, the sacred chaos are coming home. We stand hand in hand in Aftermath.

I've been searching for the Discordian Society since I first read the Principia at (about) age 16. I always wondered if it was just this tight group of spags in a scene that was over before I was born? Is there an actual network of cabals, exchanging weirdness by mail and collaborating on massive mindfucks? How many self-identifying Discordians are there, anyway?

I began sending out signals, feelers, setting up sign posts for the others to find. I figured that if there wasn't really a Discordian society, I'd just act like there was. Irreligious LARP solitaire. It turns out there are a ton of us. It's just hard to see because we're kind of disorganized. (HAIL ERIS) I've mailed weirdness to other cabals. I flew out to Portland, Oregon to meet some of the lunatic left coasters. I attended a Discordian caucus in which 23 of us (?!) gathered to swap smalltalk. I've been to the edge of the internet and back. And DAMN, we are some crazy people.

But that's just the spags who identify with this word "Discordian". There's more of us. I'm talking about the creative, chaotic, electric slice of humanity who you'd never in a million years confuse with grayface or a cabbage. There's zounds of awesome people out there who are one of us even if they don't know it yet.

And sadly, a lot of us are so weird we're weirded out. Disorder can be a lonely, scary, confusing place. Some people don't like being a freak or an outsider. The silver lining: this is the century of freaks and outsiders. A Discordian priestess once told me she feels it's her responsibility to help people cope with their weirdness. We're the clergy for the strange.

I met an odd cloaked figure. He wouldn't tell me his name (he said it wasn't supposed to be spoken out loud), but he took my manuscript. "I bet the Illuminati would love to get their hands on this," he said with a wink. I never saw him again. Months later, I'd find a CD on my doorstep. The entire book had been layed out. It was finally over.

We closed up the gates of limbo peak and staggered away from the smoking aftermath of the party.

These Gods were retired, but nevertheless, it would be a good idea to lay low for a while. Dionysus looked at all the empty and broken bottles and sobbed quietly. Athena and Ares stopped in their tracks and when they saw the library. We could hear Artemis shrieking in the garden outside. Everybody knew Eris had been here. It was time to go.

"You know, old man," I said to Zeus as we were leaving, "you've got a nice little retirement home up here. We had a great party. Wanna hear something weird?" Zeus glared at me.

"The whole time," I said, "I had this nagging feeling. Like we forgot to invite somebody. Isn't that a terrible feeling?" I thought he was going to strike me down on the spot. I tossed him the keys and got the hell out of there.