Revision as of 01:40, 17 April 2009

Chapters 1-10 of the Sacred Chao Te Ching

Chapter 1

Original:

The Way that can be described is not the absolute Way;
the name that can be given is not the absolute name.
Nameless it is the source of heaven and earth;
named it is the mother of all things.

Whoever is desireless, sees the essence of life.
Whoever desires, sees its manifestations.
These two are the same,
but what is produced has names.
They both may be called the cosmic mystery:
from the cosmic to the mystical
is the door to the essence of all life.

Our Translation:

The Universe that can be described is not the real Universe;
the name that can be given is not an accurate name.
Nameless it is the source of order and disorder;
Named... Well, we pretty much covered that, yeah?

Whoever is disordered, sees that patterns do not exist
Whoever is ordered, sees every pattern.
These two are the same,
but what is produced has names.
They both may be called Illusion. 
from the comic to the tragic
is the door to the essence of all life.

Chapter 2

Original:

When the people of the world all know beauty as beauty,
there arises the recognition of ugliness.
When they all know the good as good,
there arises the recognition of bad.

Therefore being and non-being produce each other;
difficult and easy complete each other;
long and short contrast each other;
high and low distinguish each other;
sound and voice harmonize with each other;
beginning and end follow each other.

Therefore the wise manage affairs without interfering
and teach beyond the words.

All things rise, and they do not turn away from them.
They give them life, but do not take possession of them.
They act, but do not rely on their own ability.
They accomplish, but claim no credit.
Because they claim no credit,
their accomplishment remains with them.

Our Translation:

When the people of the world all know Order as Order,
there arises the recognition of Disorder.
When they all know there is such a thing as Illusion,
there arises the idea of Reality.

Therefore Order and Disorder produce each other,
Reality and Illusion trick each other,
Authority and Freedom define each other, 
Love and Hate fuck each other.

So the wise spags look for the balance,
And stick their wrench into the Machine™.

They organize, but they do not Order.
They break apart, but they do not Disorder.
They act, but they Keep Their Fucking Mouths Shut.
And so are able to act again.

Chapter 3

Original:

Do not exalt the worthy,
so that people will not compete.
Do not value rare treasure,
so that people will not steal.
Do not display objects of desire,
so that people's hearts will not be disturbed. 

Therefore the wise lead by keeping
their hearts pure, their bellies full,
their ambitions weak, and their bones strong,
so that the people may be purified
of their thoughts and desires;
and the cunning ones will not interfere.
By acting without interfering, all may live in peace.

Our Translation:

If you put value
In subjective bullshit,
Lesser spags will treat it
Like objective Truth.

Therefore the wise spags lead
By knowing their Prison,
And keeping a Barstool close by,
To call the lesser spags on their bullshit;
And there will be no narcissism to exploit.
By understanding your Cell, you will understand others'.

Chapter 4

Original:

The Way is infinite; its use is never exhausted.
It is bottomless, like the fountainhead of all things.
It smoothes its roughness; it unties its tangles.
It softens its light; it calms its turmoil.
Deep and still, ever present.
I do not know its source.
It seems to have existed before the Lord.

Our Translation:

This is Chaos; it is Everything, including itself. 
All of Starbuck's Pebbles come from it. 
It confuses order, it arranges disorder. 
It multiplies its opposite, it positively negates. 
Lying below life, lining the world. 
The origin of all patterns. 
It has existed before we observed it.

Chapter 5

Original:

Nature is not humane.
It treats all things like sacrificial objects.
The wise are not humane.
They regard people like sacrificial objects.

How the universe is like a bellows!
While empty, it is never exhausted.
The more it is worked, the more it produces.
Much talk brings exhaustion.
It is better to keep to the center.

Our Translation:

Life is unfair, wear a helmet. 
The wise spag wears a helmet, but also drops hammers. 

Chaos never ends!  
Even its vacuum has a presence. 
To struggle against it,  
Is like pissing in the wind.

Chapter 6

Original:

The spirit of the valley never dies.
It is called the mystical female.
The door of the mystical female
is the root of heaven and earth.
It seems to be continuously within us.
Use it, and it will never fail.

Our Translation:

Says the prophet Old Dirty Bastard:
"I want pussy; pussy for me."
"I want pussy; pussy for free."

Chapter 7

Original:

Heaven is eternal, and the earth is very old.
They can be eternal and long lasting,
because they do not exist for themselves,
and for this reason can long endure.

Therefore the wise put themselves last,
but find themselves foremost.
They are indifferent to themselves,
and yet they always remain.
Is it not because they do not live for themselves
that they find themselves fulfilled?

Our Translation:

The Universe outside your Prison Cell has gone on before you, and goes on after you. 
It is as unfeeling and uncaring about itself as a barstool in midflight, 
Approaching your head; your thoughts inside it affect nothing. 

So the wise Spags look outside their own brains, 
And grasp the surrounding minds. 
They see the Bars of their Black Iron Prison, 
And so are able to see around them. 
Because isn't the other way 
Tatamount to masturbation?

Chapter 8

Original:

The best are like water.
Water benefits all things and does not compete with them.
It flows to the lowest level.
In this it comes near to the Way.

In their dwellings, they love the earth.
In their hearts, they love what is profound.
In their friendship, they love humanity.
In their words, they love sincerity.
In government, they love peace.
In business, they love ability.
In their actions, they love timeliness.
It is because they do not compete
that there is no resentment.

Our Translation:

The best are like the Chao.
It balances the Order and the Disorder;
The escalation of Disorder,
And the impositon of Order,
Each adds to the other.

As they live,
And as they travel,
They see the world as others would see Illusion.
Be the Illusion Eristic,
Or be it Aneristic,
They strive to complete the balance.
It's not their fault that the Aneristic works overtime.

Chapter 9

Original:

Stretch a bow to the very full,
and you will wish you had stopped in time.
Temper a sword-edge to its very sharpest,
and the edge will not last long.

When gold and jade fill your hall,
you will not be able to keep them safe.
To be proud with honor and wealth
is to cause one's own downfall.
Withdraw as soon as your work is done.
Such is heaven's way.

Our Translation:

Write the longest, most wise essay
and no one will have time to read it.
Temper the truth to its very sharpest,
and you will cut both friend and foe.

Mo money, mo problems.
Mo everything, mo problems.
Tis better to be able to disappear 
in a puff of smoke

Chapter 10

Original:

Can you embrace the One with your soul,
and never depart from the Way?
Can you concentrate your vital force
to achieve the gentleness of a new-born baby?
Can you cleanse and purify your mystic vision
until it is clear?
Can you love the people and govern the state
without interfering?
Can you play the role of the female
in opening and closing the doors of heaven?
Can you understand all and penetrate all
without using the mind?

To give birth and to nourish,
to give birth without taking possession,
to act without obligation,
to lead without dominating---
this is mystical power.

Our Translation:

Can you laugh so hard
that it sounds like screaming?
Can you snicker like a venerable fogey
while giggling like a newborn baby?
Can you look with eyes that will actually see?
Can you lead a cabal without dominating them?
Can you understand, without using your mind?

To create and destroy
with no sense of self
to act without obligation
to lead without tyranny
that is an awesome super power.