by Undue, DirtyEssence, and editing by Zarathud

“So do you got any ideas about the report next week?”

The trance was broken, with poor word selection no less. As those thoughts echoed in the mind, my mouth, still performing basic social functions for some odd reason, responded in a negative colloquialism. Tony was a cool guy I guess, good in the common sense of the word, the kind of kid you’d be proud to have as your son. We're Discordians, not the army.

“So you've crawled out of the darkness into our fold?”

He tried to sell it with a chuckle, I wasn’t in the mood to purchase pleasantries.

"You don't have to prove yourself to us. You don't need to latch onto our buzzwords and repeat our memes to show that you're in. You don't need to proselytize. You don't need to rebel against your former life, purge it with fire and devote every moment to throwing yourself against the System."

The drudgery, the sheer intolerable drudgery.

He glanced at my file. "Oh so you live where?"

Who gives a shit where I live honestly? My name is the least important thing about me or anybody for that matter. Fuck this.

"All we really ask you to do is laugh a little more. Think a little more. Explore a little more in places you usually wouldn't go. Talk to strangers. Listen to strangers. Do a few of those things that you thought might be neat but filed away with a 'maybe someday'. And whatever you do, don't get complacent.

“Bob”, will this bus never stop? Trail it off, make your response times slower and slower, the thing will die naturally. "Oh, and keep your eyes peeled for the Goddess." Another chuckle. Why do people think that will improve a substance free and impersonal comment?

As I got off the bus, his words chilled me,

"You'll know Her when you see Her."

"Yeah," I shouted to the people on the bus, "Chances are, She'll be laughing at you."