A disciple entirely sick of normal teachings sought enlightenment at the foot of a self proclaimed master. Meeting the master at a park bench, the student heeded the words of a hand lettered sign on a disused case of beer, and handed $40.00 to the holy one.

"Let me ask you this:", began the student, feeling now entitled to a certain lesson.

"No.", replied the master, as he tucked away the bills.

"Yes, but my questions is...", he began again.

"It isn't. You fool youself.", came the reply.

"I ONLY WISH TO ASK ONE THING!" the disciple bellowed, now feeling quite fed up.

"You have asked three things, and have a lesson for today. Go and ponder this."

Once his blood pressure fell, feeling quite humbled, the student bowed and left, pondering what had occured. As he left he saw another fellow approach the master cashless, greeting him affably and sharing a certain brown wrapped drink. Seeing this, the student went off, feeling there was much indeed to think on.

A Zen Master went to visit a Discordian KSC high upon a mountain top.

The Zen Master carefully approached the Discordian, being aware of their erratic temperment. Before he could speak, the Discordian spun around and asked the Zen Master, "Does the Goddess Eris have Buddha-Nature?"

The Zen Master smiled and said, "Mu!"

The Discordian looked the Zen Master in the eyes and said, "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

The Zen Master smiled and said, "Mu!"

The Discordian stood and said, "No, man. I'm serious. What the fuck does that mean? Are you retarded or something?"

The Zen Master smiled and said, "Mu!"

The Discordian snatched the Zen Master's walking stick away from him and said, raising his voice, "Say 'Mu' Again. Say 'Mu' again. I dare you. I double-dare you, motherfucker! Say 'Mu' one more God Damn time!"

The Zen Master was no longer smiling, but was holding up his shaking hands defensively and said, "Mu?"

The Discordian moved closer, savagely striking the Zen Master with his own stick, all the time shouting, "Is the Goddess Eris a beautiful blonde with big tits and an ass that tastes like French vanilla ice cream? Answer me!"

When the Zen Master awoke, he found that his wallet was gone and his pineal gland was swollen. He also noticed that his underwear was on inside-out.

Lord Omar’s pick-up truck

A blonde bodacious student of Discordia asked Lord Omar, "Your place or my place?” Lord Omar asked, "Are you on the pill?" The blonde bodacious student answered, "Yes, I am." Lord Omar said, "Then f#!k it! I can’t hold it any longer, let’s do it here on the hood of my truck."