by Princess Madnonymus (picture: http://we.dontexist.net/index.php?action=dlattach;attach=57;type=avatar )

The Expanse of the Universe and other such Preposterous Perceptions

God created Adam unto the Earth

And with a French kiss, tongues touching, he gave him the breath of life

Adam shrugged and stretched and let out a yawn

He scratched his bum and let out a fart

He said: You will do this in memory of me

The Universe, a whole organic entity endowed with an exquisite sense of aesthetics and a mightily attuned sense of smell, took offence of such behavior

And, away from this pungent prickly unshaven individual, so rude,

so started the expanse of the Universe.

The redshift when examining far away star

Is a result of the universe holding its breath for the smell

This shall be known as the Original Fart (by those in the know)

Or the Big Bang (for those left guessing)

In his defense, Adam had one thing to say

Shit makes the flowers grow and that is beautiful

Chill out man!, he thought, We have a long ways to go...

In the garden of Eden, God gave many advice to Adam

One being “Be careful what you wish for, you WILL get it.”

And so Eve came to be …

Upon entering Eden, Eve misheard “Expanse of the Universe” for “Expensive Universe”, so instead of heading straight home, she hurried to the shopping mall and bought these serpent leather shoes she saw on sale at Cromagnon’s stand.

Left to himself without any meal prepared for supper, Adam wonderd and pondered

Man, do I feel hungover! This whole being created thing is rougher than it appears!

What was it that weird voice in my head said about this red fruit here …

Let’s see …

How bizarre! Only half a worm seems to live in this apple!

Where could the other half be?

That does not feel like a Contended Chao

This was the first Erisian mysteree that man confronted

It was to be solved quickly when Eve came back home

Idiot! said Eve You ate the other half of the worm!

Can’t you be more careful?

You should wash your fruits and vegetables before eating them.

You are forbidden from eating off of this three ever again.

Heavy!, thought Adam, I will be in the field crushing rotten berries …

If I am to be stuck in this paradise place for long, I need to figure out that alcohol thing quick.

And so the search rages on....

When will we leave the Garden?