He got down on his knees and stuck out his tongue.

She gave him the drug.

"what's this called?" he asked as the chemicals opened the little gates all over his body.

"Rapture," she said, "It's so new it's not even illegal yet."

I'm scared, he thought to himself, am I going to embarass myself in front of her? I just wanted to fuck her and that means saying Yes and I said Yes and now the room is starting to glow Yes.

"What's that noise, that tone, that buzz?" he asked.

"It's everything," she said as she melted, "It's the sound of the whole universe."

"Is this noise real or not?"

She smiled, her eyes glassy, a tangled halo. Under her clothes there was a body. Unknowing meat. There was a spark inside that meat which made it Her but he saw it was just a spark, a flickering candle, a rising cinder.

He was seeing behind the veil, and he rubbed his eyes. "There is nothing in this room, really, is there?"

She didn't answer because she wasn't even there. And neither was he. Just the humming OM of all existence.

This time it wasn't about the sensation, it wasn't even about the fucking. Sometimes it's like an expensive steak dinner - it's delicious, and then it's over. But it turns out there is no steak and there's nobody around to eat it anyway, so there is no beginning and no end.

Two tree branches intertwined fingers, the capillaries of existence going OM it's the sound of blood rushing through the heart. This is it, behind the veil. Why can we only unite in this rapturous moment and then we forget and we remember to fear the Other, but not now.

And all the selves, ghosts, demons, gods, all went OM together, the mouth wide and air flowing out like the entire ocean, the entire world, the sound of the planets spinning silently in space whipping around the sun at rollercoaster speeds AAAAA it goes UUUUU and then MMMMM the mouth closes swallowing it all.

It's not the big bang, it's the hot crunch at the end, the mouth of shiva closing, all matter pressed together in one dense singularity and then silence.

That is why they chant the mantra, they say AUM over and over again because it is the only word, it is the only sound, it is the lotus unfolding and then blowing away, it is the snake swallowing its own tail, it is the figure eight, it is the bumper to bumper traffic somebody honks at you, you and all of the sudden you're back in your body. And it's Monday. And you're 19 now and you're 28 now 35 now 50 now 70 now you're dying now and it's silent, and then the mantra starts again.