Principia Discordia > Bring and Brag

As of tonight...

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I can do the eskimo-roll!  :banana:

Both fuckin sides!!

Sea kayaking for 30-odd years and basically just got ninja fucking good at staying up. I can rescue, be rescued and rescue myself, also like a ninja but still ,there's always been that inconvenience factor which, on account of the awesome staying up skills aforementioned, has never really happened, to me at least. I've pulled a fair few dudes out the water in all sorts of shit but I've never been upside down myself when I wasn't fucking around.

There have, however, been occasions where I might not have had time to be rescued. I might have died. I kinda liked it. Just a guilty little bit. It was my skills on the line. Me v's the Atlantic - tame it or die. Fucker has teeth. Way out, where the tide and the swell and the wind kick up all fucked seven ways from hell. I've seen depth charges going off in the water, a couple of meters in from where I was fighting off ten footers coming in from the night before. They're called clapotis - wave coming in, smacks off the cliff, shoots up fifteen feet in the air then comes crashing back down with a massive splodey.

Next thing the wave bounces back out the way it came. The reflection. Shoots back out at pretty much the same size and lick that it came in and then smashes into the next big wave coming in. WHOOOSH! Srsly. Like in the comics. Get caught in that crap and who knows where you'll land. If it's not inside your boat, the right way up, real fucking soon, the next breaker is going to grind your shit against those rocks with an approximate pressure of - who the fuck knows - couple of tons prolly. Thing is your going to get pounded and you don't got a helmet on account of helmets are for pussies.

Thing is, now I got teh roll down I can head out looking for bigger, badder, more dangerous...

N E T:
That's awesome.

I went sea kayaking in Washington and barely could keep the damn thing going in a straight line.

This calls for an especially rude kayak-based WOMP.

Triple Zero:
Sweet! But what's this eskimo-roll thing, I'm having a hard time imagining what it looks like?

It's not sushi made from ice-bear liver, right?

(cause that shit's toxic as fuck)


Congrats, but, FUCK, no.

<-- freaks out underwater.


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