Recent Posts

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 10
1
Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Last post by Doktor Howl on Yesterday at 06:56:16 pm »
Jared from accounting:  "Your bottom line is too high."

Me:  "And so?"

Jared:  "That's bad."

Me:  "It's irrelevant."

Jared:  "What, no..."

Me:  "Sorry your MBA instructors lied to you.   When taken at the end of the fiscal year, the bottom line means nothing.  Nothing at all.  All that matters is margin.  How is our margin?"

Jared:  "Pretty good, really, but..."

Me:  "But shut up."

Jared:  "..."

Me:  "What matters at the end of the year is how much money we have.  That is dictated by margin.  The difference between the top and bottom lines.  If you insist on making category errors by making a single part of the equation the defining metric, you will start losing money.  Sooner rather than later."

Jared:  "But..."

Me:  "Do I have to explain to you the difference - and the results thereof - between 'money' and 'no money'?  You can save yourself right out of business, if you're diligent and work hard enough."

Jared:  "You can't just keep spending money."

Me:  "I can.  I will.  When my margin drops, then you can bitch.  I might even listen.  Until then, I consider you to be a failure at basic algebra.  You have x revenue minus y expenses to get z profit.  You are looking at the equation as if x were a constant, so you are trying to reduce y, when y is what allows you IN THE REAL WORLD to increase x more than you increased y.  This is in fact the ENTIRE BASIS OF HOW A COMPANY WORKS."

Jared: "..."

Me:  "They didn't teach you that in MBA school?"

Jared:  "I don't have to take this shit from a jumped up grease monkey."

Me:  "The evidence suggests you do, and more than that, that you SHOULD.  But I think I get it.  Some dumbass up front - and I know which one - gave you a KPI based on the bottom line, right?"

Jared:  *mumble*

Me:  "I am ancient and vile and deaf as a post.  What was that."

Jared:  "Yes."

Me:  "I can fix that for you.  By which I mean, I can go carve a chunk out of his ass...Which is no more than he deserves for aiming some zygote MBA dweeb after me."

Walter:  *struggles to avoid laughter*

Me:  *glares at Walter*

Jared:  "What's with him?"

Me:  "Oh, a week back he said Voyager was perfectly good Star Trek, so I took his speaking privileges away for a month so that he can meditate on his error."

Jared:  "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Me:  "Nothing is wrong with me, except that I have a bean counter in my lab.  Now fuck off, if I catch you back here again, I'll turn you over to Emmy."

Jared:  "..."

Me:  "This is all normal, Jared."

2
RPG Ghetto / Re: New campaign world notes
« Last post by altered on Yesterday at 05:45:06 pm »
I always like a good old train heist, personally. Comes close to highway robbery in a fantasy setting, but that’s a good old Western trope itself, and if you’re knocking over a whole military caravan of goodies you can get the whole damn train heist vibe right there (have battlemages or similar on deck for the high value bastards and crossbow dorks for the low stakes pop-up target shootout). Not to mention the added bonus of the flavor of highwaymen robbing a stagecoach.

ETA: I should be clear, I was definitely talking more about the “running battle along the tracks, jump onboard, continue” style of train heist. The rubbish-on-the-rail type has its own charm, but it’s not nearly as distinctive.

It's an idea, thought what the train analog would be escapes me right now.

Think low fantasy.

Traveling caravan still works. Targets on carts pulled by horses, armor/fireproof everything involved (depending on feasibility), close formation.

Like I said, think highwaymen robbing a stagecoach, except it’s a whole damn line of them and there’s some armed nooks on board.

If horses or equivalent pack animals aren’t likely, then it might very well be too low fantasy to make it work properly.
3
Only Maybe Arts Lab / MICHELLE OLLEY (Discordian Saint)
« Last post by Bobby Campbell on Yesterday at 05:11:12 pm »
4
RPG Ghetto / Re: New campaign world notes
« Last post by Cain on Yesterday at 02:59:13 pm »
There's always the classic "bounty hunter dispensing rough justice out along the border". Exactly how rough the justice and whether it's really necessary are, of course, open questions.
5
RPG Ghetto / Re: New campaign world notes
« Last post by Doktor Howl on Yesterday at 02:58:59 pm »
I always like a good old train heist, personally. Comes close to highway robbery in a fantasy setting, but that’s a good old Western trope itself, and if you’re knocking over a whole military caravan of goodies you can get the whole damn train heist vibe right there (have battlemages or similar on deck for the high value bastards and crossbow dorks for the low stakes pop-up target shootout). Not to mention the added bonus of the flavor of highwaymen robbing a stagecoach.

ETA: I should be clear, I was definitely talking more about the “running battle along the tracks, jump onboard, continue” style of train heist. The rubbish-on-the-rail type has its own charm, but it’s not nearly as distinctive.

It's an idea, thought what the train analog would be escapes me right now.

Think low fantasy. 
6
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« Last post by Cain on Yesterday at 02:57:42 pm »
Well that's boring. Wessex LARP or go home.
7
RPG Ghetto / Re: New campaign world notes
« Last post by Doktor Howl on Yesterday at 02:53:13 pm »
The Magnificent Seven would've been my go-to as well. In addition to being a classic western, it's also a classic D&D plot.

Oh, yes.  However, in arc 1, they don't know who the BBEG is.  Hell, they don't even know there IS a BBEG until arc 2. 

So arc 2 is when the mooks show up raiding.  Arc 3 they spend some time learning what's going on.
8
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« Last post by Doktor Howl on Yesterday at 02:50:21 pm »
Bringing back weregild, fighting with Vikings and promoting monasticism as a valid lifestyle.

 :lulz:

I think they just mean "white folks".
10
RPG Ghetto / Re: New campaign world notes
« Last post by Cain on Yesterday at 11:49:54 am »
The Magnificent Seven would've been my go-to as well. In addition to being a classic western, it's also a classic D&D plot.
Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 10