In the hall way left and right buckets were lined up neatly. Inside were a variety of buttons of all colors, sizes, and shapes. At the head of our tour group our guide stood at the threshold of a pair of double doors. She urged for our attention and told us to collect as many buttons as we could. The rest of the group attending the tour fought to gather as many buttons as possible, but I decided to only collect the buttons which caught my eye. I examined the styles first and then the size. Was the color right?
The cacophony of the crowd was interrupted by yet another announcement by our tour guide. "Whoever collected the most colorful buttons wins!" She told the group. This was quite a disappointment for me as I mostly picked out nothing but black buttons. I looked down at my hands observing the few buttons I picked out completely oblivious that the group was flocking through the double doors ahead. Once I glanced back up I proceeded to the doors and on the other side found that the tour ended at what seemed to be a very elaborate gift shop which, at it's brink, seemed to be very simple but as a whole was as large as a Walmart or some shit.
While in my dazed amazement at the marvels of the size of the gift shop and the vast items it held a little girl attempted to put these pens in my pocket. I tried to take the pens out of my pockets but she persistently continued to fill my pockets. "Look I don't want to pay for these fucking pens!" I told her. Then my argument ceased to the sound of panicked frenzy in the crowed. "Hermaphrodite!" Some old geezer yelled. I looked around in confusion and asked to myself " what the fuck is a hermaphrodite?" Then out of nowhere a giant praying mantis crashed through the shelves of the gift shop causing a great commotion all around. I ran off hiding behind a large lining of selves. I looked back at the crowed who seemed to be running in a very orderly circle. The mantis stood over the deluded crowd eating them as they passed him by. While he was distracted I decided to push the shelf onto him. As he fell his feet got caught in a lawn chair which for some fucking reason was being sold in a button factory, if that's even what the tour was about.
With no hesitation in thought I jumped up and down on the lawn chair attempting to cut off the legs of the praying mantis. In the midst of doing so the mantis looked at me and said in some kinda redneck accent "come on boy cut off my legs."