Author Topic: Hunting Bigfoot  (Read 127 times)

zackli

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Hunting Bigfoot
« on: August 22, 2014, 02:52:50 am »
Poem I wrote, with intent to turn it into a song if some nasty thief doesn't come take my obviously already gone dreams of fame/stardom/wealth.


On patrol, just another day
when a baby bigfoot comes out to play
watching, waiting to hear
what it has to say

"You have nothing to fear"
Just what I wanted to hear
gun raised, fired and aimed
fucking hell, got blood in my beer

On patrol, just another day
When a teenage bigfoot gets in my way
watching, waiting to see
if and what it has to say

"Look behind that tree
You will find all that you seek"
gun raised, aimed and ...
"It's all just for fun, and I'm on a streak"

On patrol, just another day
When a ripe old bigfoot enters the fray
watching, ready to deal
with all of the theatrics, without delay

I know how you feel
and on that day, both of their lives, their fates were sealed
gun raised, aimed and ...
It's tough not knowing what is real

If anyone wants to interpret it, feel free. It would be interesting to see how its perception being created and its perception being read are similar and different. Or you can tell me it sucks. That's cool too.
It is naively assumed that the fact that the majority of people share certain ideas or feelings proves the validity of those feelings. Nothing is further from the truth.... The fact that millions of people share the same vices does not make those vices virtues, the fact that they share so many errors does not make the errors truths, and the fact that millions of people share the same form of mental pathology does not make these people sane.” - Erich Fromm

Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: Hunting Bigfoot
« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2014, 05:48:28 am »
I'm leaning toward "sucks" but I could be wrong. The meter is very irregular.
Lap-Top Confessional of Your Most Deranged Horrorbag Indulgences | _xgeWireToEvent: Unknown extension 131, this should never happen.

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Raz Tech

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Re: Hunting Bigfoot
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2014, 11:52:28 am »
It strikes me as inconsistent.

Guessing it's supposed to be about gun violence, but perhaps I'm a little biased by recent events.

I think you need to rewrite it once or twice or three times.

zackli

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Re: Hunting Bigfoot
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2014, 12:49:39 am »
It strikes me as inconsistent.

Guessing it's supposed to be about gun violence, but perhaps I'm a little biased by recent events.

I think you need to rewrite it once or twice or three times.

It's not very consistent, it's not supposed to be about gun violence, and I probably should re-write it once or twice and three more times :)
It is naively assumed that the fact that the majority of people share certain ideas or feelings proves the validity of those feelings. Nothing is further from the truth.... The fact that millions of people share the same vices does not make those vices virtues, the fact that they share so many errors does not make the errors truths, and the fact that millions of people share the same form of mental pathology does not make these people sane.” - Erich Fromm

The Right Reverend Nigel

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Re: Hunting Bigfoot
« Reply #4 on: August 25, 2014, 08:31:14 am »
As a singer, I think it has potential as a song. I heard it as a commentary on border violence, interested in how it was meant.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

Raz Tech

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Re: Hunting Bigfoot
« Reply #5 on: August 25, 2014, 10:42:24 pm »
As a singer, I think it has potential as a song. I heard it as a commentary on border violence, interested in how it was meant.

Now I can't get the idea out of my head that this would make a pretty decent wonky stop-time blues piece.  A bit of loose play with the words and a simple chorus would make it doable.