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Teen Exorcists

Started by Cramulus, September 11, 2013, 03:13:14 PM

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Cramulus

From the "reality is too hilarious to be unscripted" file

TEEN EXORCISTS



Here's a quick intro

Three teen girls, trained by Rev Bob Larson, are being trained to exorcise demons. He is trying to get them a reality TV show, so he's sending them on these high profile exorcisms, like trying to save England from Harry Potter. (did you know that the magic in harry potter is REAL and those movies are the culmination of centuries of evil witch planning)

In this video, the journalist corners bob larson, who believes that half the global population is possessed by demons and will sell you his services as an exorcist. The money shot in the video shows one of the girls texting while performing the exorcism.

and the journalist is like, "Aren't you taking money from people who in some cases actually need real psychiatric help?"

and his answer is so great, he basically says, "I get paid well because what I do is important in the public eye"


right now I'm listening to Anderson Cooper's half hour episode on the topic. It is awesome. Anderson isn't pulling any punches.



I lovvvvve it. Somebody asks the girls if what they are doing is responsible, and they say "Oh we have parental supervision, Brynne's dad is there the whole time."




It's 2013. You have the right to believe any crazy shit you want, and sell products or services to poor suckers who are just as crazy as you.

:dream:

The Good Reverend Roger

Send them down here.  My desk is haunted.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

AFK

If they'd exorcise my head cold I'd be a happy camper.
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Nephew Twiddleton

#3
Oh, Martin Luther, if only you could see the unintended consequences.

:lulz:

ETA: especially now that his spiritual descendants are the worst kind of religious profiteers. This stinks like selling indulgences.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Nephew Twiddleton

What happens when Bob Larson watches Buffy the Vampire Slayer in order to find more proof of Satanic entertainment?

"That's not a bad idea. I could market that."
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Cramulus

at 11:30, Anderson Cooper is really straightforward --- he tells them he thinks they're full of shit, the girls sound like they've been coached and are not speaking like humans talk, and that this is just an elaborate pitch for a reality TV show. The audience cheers.

after the break, Anderson brings on a family whose kid went through a really brutal and violent 72 hour exorcism. They are telling the girls that they have no qualifications to recognize whether or not somebody is schizophrenic.


There's just something magical about this TV format... They show you something which disgusts you, then they make that thing uncomfortable. It's like My Super Sweet 16, where these really spoiled rich girls cry and cry and cry and throw childish temper tantrums because their parents got them a RED mercedes instead of a BLUE one*. They build up your hate, and then there's a payoff, this feeling of vindication. It's cathartic.

I'm sitting here judging these girls for being apprentice snake oil salesman, and Anderson is like, "You wanna see them get theirs?" hell yes we do.  :lol:

I have such a weird relationship with this kind of media, it's a sick obsession. It's why court TV shows are so popular, or movies like Inglorious Basterds---it gives us, the viewers, a chance to see somebody suffer without feeling any guilt about it, the moral high ground is preserved for the audience.


*I just made up that example, then googled "super sweet 16 tantrum", and the first hit was exactly what I described: a girl flipping out because her new luxury car is red instead of blue. AMAZING

Cramulus

ahhhh I was trying to remember where I had last seen Bob Larson

Back in the 80s/90s, he used to host TV debates with satanists, confronting them about how evil they are. Here's his interview with Zeena LaVey and Nicholas Schreck, who at the time were the heads of the church of satan. They handle themselves really well, it's a good watch.

LMNO

The redhead in the middle has put the devil in me.

Nephew Twiddleton

It's kind of interesting that teens would be put in this position.

Let us assume for the sake of argument that demonic possession is a real thing, since that's presumably what these girls actually believe.

It's a goddamn demon. It would seem highly irresponsible to send an untrained, psychologically incapable person. Other religious traditions that engage in the practice perform it rarely. Mainly because you really have to go out of your way to say, there's some freaky unexplainable shit going on here, so why not give this last option a shot? I am thinking primarily of the Catholic Church, where, as I understand it, you have to get authorization from the Pope himself to get the go ahead, and those authorizations are exceedingly rare, because 99.999999% of the time, it is due to some sort of mental illness in the patient. But the other end of it is that the exorcist has to be psychologically balanced in order to pull the ritual off. Teenagers are self-conscious and have fragile egos, and have dirty little private thoughts that a telepathic demon will exploit the fuck out of.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Cramulus

the kids keep saying "It's fine, our parents are there and they would never let us do something dangerous"

I guess Larson believes in demons and yet doesn't think exorcisms are dangerous?

I dunno, maybe it has to do with Larson's faith in the girls' purity / innocence or something? I do wonder what's going on in Bob Larson's head... I have no doubt that he's a true believer, but he's been a VHS huckster since the 80s. Clearly he has somehow resolved the cognitive dissonance between healing the sick and profiting off them.

dude charges $100 for what I assume is a nickel plated cross.



his website, btw: http://www.boblarson.org/

Nephew Twiddleton

Quote from: Cramulus on September 11, 2013, 06:03:25 PM
the kids keep saying "It's fine, our parents are there and they would never let us do something dangerous"

I guess Larson believes in demons and yet doesn't think exorcisms are dangerous?

I dunno, maybe it has to do with Larson's faith in the girls' purity / innocence or something? I do wonder what's going on in Bob Larson's head... I have no doubt that he's a true believer, but he's been a VHS huckster since the 80s. Clearly he has somehow resolved the cognitive dissonance between healing the sick and profiting off them.

dude charges $100 for what I assume is a nickel plated cross.



his website, btw: http://www.boblarson.org/

Yeah because telling one of Satan's agents, "hold on a sec, I have to text Kayla" isn't in anyway dangerous.  :lulz:


Also, totally going to take his got demons test.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
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Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Nephew Twiddleton

Oh dear. It's Demon Test (R) :horrormirth:
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Nephew Twiddleton

I guess there's no such thing as a free consult with Bob Larson.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Cramulus

yeah, it's $9.95 to find out if you're in the 50% of the population that has demonz

Nephew Twiddleton

Quote from: Cramulus on September 11, 2013, 06:11:00 PM
yeah, it's $9.95 to find out if you're in the 50% of the population that has demonz

Flipping a quarter will only cost me 25 cents, and only while it's midair.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS