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Messages - SuuCal

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1
I don't see anything wrong with her career being the top priority, and if you won't or can't move then letting go of the relationship. I don't see anything wrong with saying that she would prefer if you came along and had all this commitment stuff with her there. Marriage is not about sacrificing your life for someone else.

I agree with most of this. However, I don't see how it's fair to marry someone you wouldn't make your first priority. It's ok to want the commitment where the new job would be. It's a whole other thing to talk about those things knowing you'd give up the consideration if it wasn't possible for the other person to move with you.

I don't want to hear about permanent commitments from the other person in the relationship if it's obvious that they aren't as committed as I am, or aren't completely dedicated to such commitments. As you said, there's nothing at all wrong with having other commitments. I just don't wanna hear about something as important and permanent as marriage and kids if it's not the most important thing to you. Because that's the only way things like that work. You can't have a marriage or kids if your priorities are not those things. She can find those priorities later in life if she wants, after her other priorities are achieved. But I'm not going to be lied to about someone's commitment level. I'm not going to be told we're going to be together forever if they don't mean that 100%.

Marriage is not about sacrificing your life for someone else.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

2
Couple things:

1: You guys are wicked young. 19 and 20? Here's the godawful truth: Your lives are going to change over 9000 times before you turn 30. Fuck, they're going to change at least half that before you're mature enough to get married. Now, I'm not saying you cannot and should not consider marriage at a young age, everybody's relationship is different, however, I married at 24 and in retrospect, I was too damn young. That lasted for 2 years before we separated, and it was  shitty experience. I got married again at 32, and I'm a completely different person now. The way I communicate with my husband is different, the way we manage our lives is different, and that's not throwing the military, and the bouts of true long-distance relationship in the mix.

2: Long-distance is hard as fuck. Now, again, my example is not your life. But from my perspective of looking back at myself at age 20, I would have failed miserably at this. For the majority of our marriage and a good portion of our dating, my husband has been at some distance. While I wouldn't call the time he was in Portsmouth while I was still in Providence long-distance, he did spend 3 months in Guam for training, and then 7 months in San Diego while I was still in Portsmouth. In that time, we saw each other twice. This of course does not count for any underways or deployments, which are their own animals and aren't comparable. 

3
On the bright side, it seems like you guys have already been talking about this, which is good.

On the down side, you still need to talk. I wouldn't so much call you "selfish" as apprehensive. You're been wary of the unknown, which seems to me that if she's already at the stage of discussing these massive life steps, you may not be on the same level. This isn't a bad thing, but you guys NEED to be on the same level when it comes to marriage, and then children. I would say it would be okay to offer her a polite suggestion to hold off on the long term planning until you see what happens with the job if you feel it's hitting a particular nerve.

You're not in the wrong, you just have a different view on what's important in the here and now, versus your girlfriend, who is, as my cousin the shrink calls it, "renewing the contract." Clearly, she wants to be with you for the long haul, but, she also wants this job. Both of these are awesome things, except that part where she said you'll go out with tomorrow's trash if she has to in order to move. That raised a red flag. I don't think she understands the obstacles of a long-distance relationship.

I don't know how long you two have been together, and forgive me if I overlooked it, but it's easy to talk about and romanticize a future when you're earlier in the relationship. This can lead to some trouble if you rush into things.

Has she said, out loud, that she wants you to come with her? If she hasn't, I'd reconsider staying with her.

In short, this requires a serious, sit-down conversation.

4
New England has been a gorgeous, unparalleled paradise for the last week, of warm sun, cool breezes, striking sunsets, and a temporary ebbing of the inevitable grasp of misery that consumes us all.

So take that, ya fahckin queeahs.

I'll fuckin' remember dis shit when I'm on deh beach in January, snappahhead.

It's been really nice here, actually, because the temperature dropped to 93 F (34 C) this week, and I'm not even being facetious about it being a nice change.  Soooo much better.

Yeah, San Diego feels like San Diego again, and not Tucson. It's like somebody pulled the string on the sun and it lowered a bit. Just a bit, now, we can't be fucking greedy. 


In completely unrelated news, I just got drunk dialed by my best friend from high school who now lives in Lubbock. He says he's fine, and that he's the designated driver for the night.  :| He isn't fine. He only calls me at night when he's drunk and wants to talk random baseball stats. Now I'm fucking worried about him.

And then all human feelings I had were suddenly dashed when I saw a new mother complaining on Facebook about how she hates taking care of her baby and how it's literally the worst thing ever. Of course, I wasn't about to go into a diatribe about how mortal children do not spring fully grown from your vagina and walk right into fucking Harvard, and that next time she should use a fucking rubber, because everybody else beat me to the punch. That, and I didn't want to field the classic, "YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS SO YOU DON'T KNOOOOOWWWW" No, I don't know, but it's not exactly a secret that newborns take a considerable amount of work that she was clearly unprepared for. I especially liked the part where she bitched that her boyfriend wasn't home to help full-time like she was, because you know, he works.  Hopefully, she'll come out of the funk and have an enjoyable experience as a mother in due time, because I can only imagine how overwhelmed she is. I'd hate to have something happen to her, but at the same time, I also want to slap the shit out of her.

5
Her supporters will bend over backwards and holler that she was taken out of context about vaccination, but they really don't have anything to say about her anti-GMO or "cell phones cause cancer" routines.

Im anti GMO, not because they are bad for people but because Glyphosate is and I really don't like intellectual property applying to DNA, especially in ways that have resulted in farmers being sued after their crops were pollinated by a GMO neighbor.  BT genes getting into wild crops is also a distinct possibility and would be a disaster or the environment.

Then you're anti-intellectual property being applied to DNA and anti-chemical pesticide, not anti-GMO. 

6
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Pagan or Racist?
« on: August 23, 2016, 07:28:22 pm »
All the Asatru I have met, some of whom were racist and some of whom were not, would be offended at being called Pagan.  They're Heathen or Asatru,  I don't think they want to share an umbrella term with the Wiccans.

Good.  If we let Pagans start dictating terms, next they'll be demanding equal rights, or the vote.

Have you ever dealt with a pagan in a workplace? Terrible useless bastardy to a man in my experience.

I only worked with one self-identifying Wiccan, and she was, and still is, one of the sweetest people I know. Never mentioned it unless someone brought it up.

7
Her supporters will bend over backwards and holler that she was taken out of context about vaccination, but they really don't have anything to say about her anti-GMO or "cell phones cause cancer" routines.

Because she's "NOT KILLARY LOL LOOK AT THIS LINK FROM BREITBART GUYS"

8
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Pagan or Racist?
« on: August 23, 2016, 03:16:41 pm »
Evidently white supremacy has been grasping at straws a lot lately. As of last night, 3 of my medieval groups on Facebook were infiltrated with members of a group looking to "recruit" for a new "crusade" based on the "fact" that white Europeans had the power in the Middle Ages and we should bring that back. The posts were all deleted really fast before I got a chance for a screenshot, but this is becoming a frequent thing.

Like I said, these fucking idiots have never cracked a book in their lives. Ever. But in Trump's AmericaTM, they won't have to, because they have all the facts, and we can just change the books to fit our needs.

9
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Pagan or Racist?
« on: August 22, 2016, 08:36:21 pm »
As far as I know, it's NOT a WP front, those groups seem to come mostly out of Germany rather than the actual Scandinavian countries. That doesn't mean they shouldn't be cautious though.

With that said, there is quite a large Asatru revival happening right now, along with an equally big Hellenismos revival in Greece. The Greek Nationalists have actually turned toward Orthodox Christianity rather than paganism, so at least for now, from what I've been able to pick up, they aren't into those pagan circles as much. The joke is really on the WP Odinists though, because last I checked, there was a whole myth involving Odin having dark skinned children (I need to check this). All the more reason why I believe fucking Nazis are illiterate shitbags.

Another issue is the WP turn toward Romanitas, which is pissing me the fuck off for reasons. The New Thing is that because the Romans were white (lolno) and conquered and enslaved, that they're the pivotal example of what white supremacy should be. This is wrong on over 9000 levels. Fucking Gibbonites, that book is outdated by 200 years, and people still fucking believe him when he said that Rome fell because of black people and women.  :evilmad:

10
I'm in Provincetown, Where Heterosexuals Are The MinorityTM, and guess who showed up yesterday?  Hillary Clinton and Cher.

I got the fuck out to the beach and let everything blow over -- but not before I saw the protesters.  Not Trump protesters, they probably believe their genitals would spontaneously combust if they approached such a large number of queers.  Stein/Bernie protesters.

But, as we might expect, they sounded EXACTLY like Trump protesters.  I shit you not, they even were using the "Crooked Hillary" moniker, and the "Jail her" chant.  Proof that a nutbag is a nutbag, regardless of political affinity.

There's a reason so many Bernie supporters are talking about voting for Trump or the Libertarian. A bunch of them are just looking for something to buy into, and they aren't too picky as long as it promises to ignore women and black people.

As a former-Bernie supporter (and now Hillary supporter), I don't understand the pull to Gary Johnson. You want to be edgy and vote for Trump, sure, whatever, it'll be hilarious to watch you cry when your friends are shipped to the concentration camps and you wonder why, but Johnson literally stands for everything Bernie was against. I think the only thing that is doing it is that Johnson wants to legalize weed, because, well, Libertarian, but the man is adamantly against social programs of any kind, and a supporter of the 1% under the guise of smaller government. He's a turdburglar. 

I guess it must be nice to be that fucking oblivious to how the system actually works under the pretense of "going against the establishment." Or more so, that fucking privileged to throw your vote to assholes who can ruin the lives of minorities.

11
I'm just fucking excited that the DESI project is moving along. You were giddy as fuck back in June showing us around and telling us about it.

That 4 meter dome though. Srsly.

12
There's no room in the world for the Self-Righteous. You and I both know that.

"DON'T BODYSHAME TRUMP!"

Why? He's already proven to be a troglodyte. You want me to not make fun of the statuesque micropenis of a man who has openly shamed women for not meeting his ideal? I think not.

Meanwhile, I'm going to tell my dad that polio doesn't pick on 3 year olds. He'll be interested to know that, considering he caught it when he was 8 months old or something or other. You know, back in the fucking dark ages, the 1950s, where all the Republicans and anti-vaxxers want to be. It makes me want to start an amusement park, "1950sland!"

We'll have Buddy Holly and Howdy Doody playing on old tube TVs and radios on repeat in every corner of the park. Women can find themselves taking opiates to avoid feeling anything when their husband beats them for not doing the dishes before they came home from work. And at the soda fountain, everybody sits around, and asks how darling Johnny and Jane are doing in the hospital. Johnny has polio, and Jane had the measles so badly it made her go blind. But we don't have time to science, there's commies around every corner. Perhaps we can have a shooting gallery: cork guns blasting the targets off the heads of multiple Malenkovs and Khrushchevs. At least the Russians aren't black.

 :dream:

I feel better already.

13
You know, the Brain Weasels.

The motherfucking rodents that slither around your brain pan, looking for new wires to chew on. Usually, they like to knock the hamster off the wheel, and then just dry hump the wheel until it's covered in rust. And then you sit there, on the couch, crying and laughing and wanting to kill a motherfucker at the same time.  I got a bad case of the Brain Weasels.

Husband says I'll be alright, but I should just relax, but keep myself busy.
Doctor says I'll be alright, just take the pills.

But the pills won't kill the weasels, just make them sleep, you know? They'll find a corner to nest in, and make more weasels for the next round. They'll find new wires to gnaw through then, and skullfuck another poor hamster to death. Hamsters don't breed as fast as the weasels, and the weasels don't run the same as as the hamsters do on the wheel.

How do you stop the weasels, Roger? How do you get these little vermin to quit fucking chewin' on the power cables?

14
I don't count heavy snowfall as a natural disaster, 'cause if you build the houses and roads correctly it's hardly an issue.

But I am also a filthy, unwashed mountain hick who only requires 2 hours of sunlight a day, so YMMV.

Similar to Jeff.

In fact, I'm pretty sure the next military move is going to end up in our divorce. I don't want to think about it, but the idea of having to move back to the Northeast and dealing with that shit again makes me ill. But, it's his job and his choices.

Not that it matters, mind you. President Trump is going to ensure that the Russians or Chinese kill my husband anyway.

15
A wildfire started in my town as well today, not bad enough to worry about evacuating but maybe should start to think about what to put in a go-bag. Living that SoCal life!

In other news I found a job! It's not as many hours as I'd like, but I make good tips so that's nice. It's also crazy and bilingual.

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THIS?!

My husband is the previous make and model of Project: BITCHHAMMER than Richter, so he's like, "Whatever." And I'm in San Diego like, "OMG IS MY SHIT GONNA BURN DOWN LIKE TOMORROW WTF."

Seriously, like...fucking SERIOUSLY. I am so on edge. But I presume that if some San Diegans were on the East Coast and a Category 5 was just spinning along in the ocean, they'd feel much the same way I am right now.

There is nowhere people can live that isn't fraught with natural disasters of some kind. Forest fires, hurricanes, volcanoes, tornadoes, earthquakes, tsunamis, plain old flooding... there's something for everyone.

I thought the middle-upstate NY region where I used to live was untouchable, but then Hurricane Irene accidentally the entire Catskills. Turns out, living in the valleys of mountains that are made up almost entirely of silty sandstone, with no real permeability, results in small villages getting washed into the Hudson. Not often, but enough.

The real threat, of course, is the fucking tent caterpillars.

You mean the Snowbelt?  :lulz: Jeffland. Where we got a foot of snow for Thanksgiving, and my husband called it  a mild Thursday.  He wants to move back up that way when he retires. I told him bye. Where the FUCK am I going to work? Utica? Syracuse?  :vom:

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