Topics

1

Apple Zone / I think this explains everything about Providence and Portland

« on: May 21, 2013, 02:20:31 am »

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2831942/

Providence, Rhode Island, and Portland, Oregon, are two cities that by all accounts have well-run water utilities and health departments. Both have also had recurring problems with lead in tap water, yet both—according to some critics—have downplayed the potential importance of lead in tap water as a route of exposure. The experiences of these cities and others across the United States illustrate the difficulty not only of determining the causes behind specific cases of lead poisoning but also of ensuring that lead sources are eliminated.

Even though Providence is always topping lists of best tap water, it appears that we may have a lead problem.  I always knew it tasted a little sweet when I was living in the Edwardian in Elmwood. Old ass pipes in this city.

2

Apple Zone / On fucked Millennials:

« on: May 16, 2013, 06:35:17 pm »

THIS.

http://www.mattbors.com/blog/2013/05/09/millenials-arent-lazy-theyre-fucked/

3

Apple Zone / Angelina Jolie cuts her boobs off to save her life; douchebags unite to lament.

« on: May 14, 2013, 05:48:31 pm »

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/05/14/angelina_jolie_breast_cancer_surgery_the_actress_discusses_beauty_after.html

Today, Angelina Jolie published a piece in the New York Times about her decision to undergo a preventive double mastectomy last month. As a carrier of a gene mutation called BRCA1, Jolie cut her chances of contracting breast cancer from 87 percent to under 5 percent by undergoing the procedure. I felt so honored to read Jolie’s detailed first-person account of her experience, as well as her advocacy for all the women around the world to gain access to the too-expensive tests and procedures that have empowered her to fight for her own life. Those warm feelings were soon deflated by some of the unexpectedly nasty commentary that pooled around her story. Commenters snarked that Jolie had received a “boob job.” Some suggested that her medical emergency was just a tabloid ruse to cover up elective breast implants. Others morbidly asked after the whereabouts of the breast tissue removed from her body. “RIP Angelina’s boobs” was a typical ignorant comment. Said one commenter on a Jezebel post about the op-ed, “How many guys stopped reading as soon as they realized Angelina Jolie has no breasts—she's dead to me!"

4

Discordian Recipes / Slow cooked pulled Suupork.

« on: May 01, 2013, 03:40:59 pm »

Take crockpot.
Line the bottom with onions and garlic. I like to leave them chunky since the boy is not a huge onion eater, but he likes the flavor it lends to the foods. I also use twice as much garlic than I should.
Add chicken stock and vegetable oil. About a cup of stock and a teaspoon of oil should work.


Put the slab of pork on top of the goop .


Assemble stuff. The vodka bottle is actually holding homemade hard cider, I'm using that instead of cider vinegar BECAUSE WE HAVE SO MUCH OF IT, and it's terrible...but great with pork. I only have dark brown sugar instead of light brown, and no mustard. I almost used Nam-Pla instead of Worcestershire, but that got shot down, because of the "aroma". 


Slather. Sprinkle with pepper and cumin.


See ya'll in 5 hours.

5

Apple Zone / The biggest, douchiest, first world problem you will ever read.

« on: May 01, 2013, 12:29:36 am »

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/babblecom/my-wife-is-expecting-twins_b_3141819.html

I've been doing some spying lately, casually asking friends and acquaintances about their experiences with having twins.

A buddy from college said of the first year: "Think of the worst thing you can imagine. That's what it was like."

An industry contact back from maternity leave said: "I literally couldn't wait to get back to work. Every weekend is way too long."

A former colleague was more blunt: "Twins were always my worst nightmare."

And now it's my and my wife's nightmare; we're expecting twins this August.

To say we're excited would be an exaggeration. More truthfully, we're pissed. And terrified, and angry, and guilty, and regretful. Why regretful? Because we brought this on ourselves. This is what we wanted, so to speak.

We already have a son, and he's wonderful. But my wife and I each have a sibling, and we wanted him to share that experience. We desperately tried to get pregnant for nearly two years, first the natural way, then via several IUIs (intrauterine inseminations). But getting pregnant when you're both pushing 40 is sort of like trying to blow up the Death Star; it's possible, but you need the perfect shot. Each month we checked my wife's fertility; had forced, dispassionate, purely functional sex; and struck out. It hurt worse every time and caused us both to become more jaded than ever. It affected our relationship, and not in a "this-will-bring-us-closer-than-ever" kind of way.

Each IUI (and we tried three or four) was even worse. Oh, how I miss the cup sex and rushing to the fertility clinic, knowing that I probably wasn't the only one on the subway carrying a jar of semen in my bag. (I never did figure out what exactly was appropriate to masturbate to: A bigger house? Moving to the suburbs?)

And then came the decision to try IVF (in vitro fertilization). Given our ages, we knew the odds were only one in four. And with each shot costing like $10,000, we knew this was money that wasn't going to go toward our house, the kids' college fund, or any other future plans. We also knew each failed attempt would add more cracks in the foundation of our relationship.

Thankfully, we nailed it on the first try. But while we were hoping for one girl, instead we got two boys. My initial reaction was full of disappointment, anger, fear, and guilt. My wife, who had been dreading the possibility of twins for weeks, took it worse. In her mind, this was her fault, since she'd encouraged the fertility doctors to put in two embryos to stack the deck.

As horrible as this might sound, we found ourselves wishing these twins away.

We considered a reduction for about 30 seconds. (That's essentially an abortion of one twin, not both.) If you thought that IVF involved playing God, a reduction felt beyond brazen -- Machiavellian, even. Give us a reason, we thought, as we had the twins tested for genetic anomalies. None came.

Two blessings, two bundles of joy. How could you not be happy, you ask? Of course I'm sympathetic to people who can't get pregnant, or who spend a couple of years trying IVF after IVF. But having kids is a selfish endeavor, and in these cases it's all very relative and highly personal. In our case, my wife and I know better than to think that life with three children is going to be perfect.

When our first son was born, I was naïve. I remember thinking it was going to be nice to be home for a while and have some time off. I couldn't have been more wrong. Those first six weeks were brutal. Then the colic arrived. Two months later, we were shattered, frazzled, damaged. Two years later, our son was still waking up for hours on end in the middle of the night. Three years later, we still struggle mightily with a boy who's fiercely strong-willed and seems to inherently know that crying pushes our buttons.

Our fear is not the new parent fear of the unknown. It's the smart, informed fear of the known. Our biggest nightmare is that we'll have colic again, or double colic. This time around, we're counting down -- not like expecting parents but like cancer patients with only months to live. Enjoy life while you can, for soon it's double the diapers, double the feedings. Half of zero sleep is ... less than zero?

So tell me how this isn't going to suck. (Did I mention we live in a one-bedroom apartment?) Sure, in 10 years I could have close to a starting five of super-athletic, NBA-hopeful alpha males living under my roof smelling up the joint. But right now it's hard for us to see twins as good news.

I'm trying not to be so bitter and to embrace what's ahead of us. It's possible these kids will sleep at some point, I suppose. In the meantime, I've promised to stop referring to one of the boys as "extra" and have told my wife I will try to refrain from calling my first-born son "the free one."

With four months left to go, I'm not sure what stage we're in at the moment -- but it's not acceptance. My wife and I even both privately admitted that we don't like the new children, which is of course insane. Excited? We're not there yet. Terrified? Yes, when we're not practicing denial.

They say the most important thing is the kids' health -- but what about ours?

I think these people missed the punchline.

6

Aneristic Illusions / Syria reported to have use Chemical Warfare

« on: April 23, 2013, 01:08:50 pm »

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2013/04/23/syria-chemcial-weapons-israel/2105609/

TEL AVIV -- The Syrian government has used chemical weapons on rebels, Israel's top military intelligence official said at a security conference on Tuesday.

Brig. Gen. Itai Brun, the head of research and analysis in Israeli military intelligence, said that Syrian President Bashar Assad's regime has used chemical weapons multiple times.

"Shrunken pupils, foaming at the mouth and other signs indicate, in our view, that lethal chemical weapons were used," he said.

He said sarin, a lethal nerve agent, was probably used. He also said the Syrian regime was using less lethal chemical weapons, and that Russia has continued to arm the Syrian military with weapons such as advanced SA-17 air defense missiles.

His assessment echoes similar findings from British and French officials.

Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel said here Monday that chemical weapon use would cross a "red line" and that the Pentagon had contingency plans to deal with it.

7

Apple Zone / The Boston Human Wall

« on: April 18, 2013, 07:46:18 pm »

I am home! Nobody got arrested. In fact, those pussies didn't even show up. We had one Truther who stood near us since we had the view of the President's motorcade, but he stayed out of trouble and held his sign, so we just let him be. We flooded the sidewalk with thousands of people in black with full support from Boston PD. I did NOT see the President, but I did see his car. Pretty much as soon as the Secret Service told us we needed to move, our departure was imminent, so we waited a bit longer (we had no idea what was going on inside, we couldn't hear/see) and then left to avoid the stampede. We beat them back by about 15 minutes. Grabbed lunch at Clery's which is next to Back Bay for a proper pint of English bitters, and then headed home. We didn't head over to the bomb site on Boylston, because I think my friend and I agreed it would have been an ultimate downer. The city seems in good spirits overall.

I was interviewed by a television station from Montreal, but I don't remember the name. My friend did make the guy laugh a bit when he told him he'd find no Canadiens fans here. He more or less wanted to know what we were doing there, and why. He also asked why the Westboro Baptist Church does what they do, to which I responded something to the likes of, "Some people just need a reason to get attention." But I was civil. He found it interesting that I came from Providence to Boston (really people, it's NOT. THAT. FAR.) and was very interested in how many people we had, and how we came together on short notice. So hopefully some of my Canadian friends can help me find what channel.

For the most part, we stood there, we had to deal with other people pushing through for a chance to see the Prez, but it didn't happen, and that's not what we were there for, anyway. Hopefully they'll see this on the news and take the damn hint they aren't welcome, because the same group of people will be going to the funerals and the bomb site as well to make sure they don't rear their ugly head.

I'd say it was 3 hours standing on a sidewalk staring at a church well spent.

...I need a fucking nap.

8

Apple Zone / alright PD, I need your halps.

« on: April 16, 2013, 08:32:17 pm »

There's this obnoxious know-it-all in my history class tonight.

I already yelled at her once. The professor TRIES to control her, and can't. She starts to talk to herself when she's cut off and keeps going. The entire class has had it.

Yes, she's an older woman, and if it wasn't for the fact she was uncontrollable and incorrect 99.9% of the time, I wouldn't care. I'm a fan of non-traditional students, but this hen is batshit to the max.

Here she is, trying to tell my professor that the Magna Carta was King John being tried by a jury of his own peers. Yes, this is also the same woman who said that there were no boats in the Middle Ages.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151424449448143&set=vb.510548142&type=3&theater

The semester is almost over, and I feel like I've gained nothing from this course except how to drink a couple glasses of wine before hand as anger management.

How do I get her to SHUT THE FUCK UP by not undermining my professor, and not sending her to the hospital? I've walked out of this class twice already because of her.

9

Apple Zone / Quite possibly the greatest text message troll ever.

« on: April 13, 2013, 03:12:10 am »

I can't even spoil it, but know it goes to 90+ pages until it's resolved. After that you can pretty much stop. There's some NSFW too, just...yeah. A friend of mine sent this to me tonight. Holy fuck.

hxxp://www.mixedmartialarts.com/mma.cfm?go=forum.posts&forum=2&thread=2156204&page=1

10

Apple Zone / Possible Shooter at URI

« on: April 04, 2013, 04:21:05 pm »

I know this may be a bit preemptive, but I know you guys may worry if it hits national news.

There is a possible gunman on my main campus right now here in RI. I am home from school on Thursdays, however, Dimo is not, and has classes in the building that this guy is supposedly in.

Nobody has been shot yet as far as I know, but I will update with what I can.

11

Apple Zone / Butthurt grad student sues university over mediocre grade.

« on: February 12, 2013, 06:15:52 pm »

Just...read it. All of it.

http://news.yahoo.com/lehigh-university-student-got-c-now-seeks-1-124956605.html

So...she went to grad school tuition free because daddy is a professor there.
She gets a job there, because daddy is a professor there.
She gets a C+ in a class because she didn't behave well...as a grad student. (Profanity and crying? Really?)

And now she wants $1.3 Million because her career is "ruined."

Good luck with that.

12

Apple Zone / THE FRENCH TOAST ALERT SYSTEM HAS BEEN ACTIVATED.

« on: February 06, 2013, 08:24:20 pm »

https://www.facebook.com/pages/French-Toast-Alert-System/147732205282316?fref=ts

 

I am not getting eggs, milk, and bread, and you CAN'T MAKE ME.



Also, where is Aput these days? I need to have a word with him.

13

Discordian Recipes / Suu explores Roman food and drink!

« on: February 03, 2013, 05:12:08 pm »

This coming weekend, we have a local SCA event involving food with various categories for judging. I'm not a huge foodie, but I have a copy of recipes from Apicius I got for class last year. One of them, a sweet and sour pork recipe, sounded damn good, so I've been meaning to try it. I found a decent modern redaction online, so I shall be gathering ingredients today and cooking it Saturday night/Sunday morning of next week for the event.

It's called Minutal ex Praecoquis, and here is the best modern redaction I could find:

http://www.celtnet.org.uk/recipes/roman/fetch-recipe.php?rid=roman-minutal-ex-praecoquis

14

Apple Zone / It must be almost February...

« on: January 31, 2013, 11:24:55 am »

BECAUSE MY FUCKING ROOF IS LEAKING. THAT'S WHY.

Okay, in defense of the new place, this storm outside was really fucking bad, and it definitely ripped something off the roof (I've been awake the whole fucking time, I know.) And it's a true ceiling, not a drop ceiling, and it's only a drop of water every couple of seconds, and the SuuBF says it's practically not an issue and I need to relax...BUT FUCK YOU RELAXATION, BECAUSE I LOST HALF OF MY FUCKING FABRIC FOR MY JOB 2 YEARS AGO WHEN THE DROP CEILING FELL ON MY SHIT.

I am not in the mood to deal with this fucking month. It needs to back the fuck off or it's getting its feelings hurt.

15

Apple Zone / The Wall Street Journal demonstrates how out of touch they are with reality.

« on: January 16, 2013, 04:28:19 pm »

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323689604578220132665726040.html#project=WEALTH0105&articleTabs=article

The first image, showing the disdained faces of the "middle class", such as the single mother making 260,000$ a year. Or the poor retired couple with the elegant tennis sweaters. Yes, this is their view on America.

Below, another interactive image that shows you how worthless you are if you are unemployed or a college student, and how they assume we don't pay "any" taxes.

The kicker, the comments. You can't post there unless you pay to have an account (surprised? I am not.) But the minute someone brings up the lower classes, they are immediately labeled as lazy and a socialist.

In short: The rich really have no fucking clue.