(copypasta'd from Open Bar du jour)
Apparently I offended people on the Facebook today.
They got offended that I swore like a sailor on one of my SCA groups, so they said it was unfitting a woman of my education to speak such a way, and that I should try harder with a dictionary and thesaurus. So I responded in Latin, and I was called a child-like bitch and blocked.
I even used a dictionary!
I'm offended so many fucking people get offended by me.
No wait, no I'm not, I'm happy, because if you can't handle my extra special rants about seams on a fucking corset, you're not cool enough to be my friend, goddamnit. I've been behaving lately, really, I have, because some folks have found my anger a bit harsh and have asked me to keep things cool, and I have. Really. I started this whole mellow thing of being mellow and taking deep breaths and yoga stretches and shit, and all it does it make me extra flexible with extra hate to go around.
Goddamnit, fuck your goddamn request. Who the fuck are people to come on my goddamn cyber front lawn and picket my anger? What the fuck is this shit? The goddamn Westboro Fucktard Church of Bad Reenactors? Eat shit and die, poseurs, you're talking to the goddamn industry professional. Somebody gave me fucking DIPLOMAS in this shit so I can tell you you're wrong and be okay with it, I mean, I would have been okay with it anyway, but expensive pieces of goddamn paper are like more street cred. Bonus if I can make those cool Chinese throwing stars around it. And then you have the fucking balls to call me a goddamn child after saying I needed to act more educated AND I DID. Latin ain't dead, that shit is immortal, and I just proved your point.
This shit always reminds me of Maria's Art of the Brag, because my goddamn ovaries DO shoot motherfucking ball bearings, and I LIKE IT. I like being on top of the goddamn food chain as one of the educated ones, and still be able to throw an F-bomb on the table like it's a goddamn Sunday pot roast, that's what. Eat it. EAT THAT, WITH MY SPECIAL GRAVY OF DISDAIN AND CHASTISEMENT, because every time you try to knock me down a peg, all I do is let that shit sit a bit until I remember I'm fucking awesome at what I do. And if I want to call a friend of mine a pussy because we joke all the goddamn time, I can do so, in English or Latin, and you can kiss my shiny Classicist ass.
No, this ain't no special fucking rant about anything deep, all it is, is a reassurance, that even though I cry sometimes, and I fuck up, because I'm a goddamn human, that's exactly why, because I AM a goddamn human being, and I'm good at it. Be awesome at your own humanity, and I'll be awesome at mine, just eat my fucking gravy first.