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Messages - V3X

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1
I can imagine a pink unicorn on the dark side of the moon, and trees that grow chicken legs.

It doesn't work that way. Science* has proven that the dark side of the Moon, being shielded from Thetan radiation, is far more likely to produce BLUE unicorns.



*Source: Assclown, et. al., Journal of Asstrophysics and Homeopathy, 1983

2
Breaking News: EMERGENCY DECLARED! Newtonian Mechanics Fail, Objects Begin Drifting into Space

3
If my hate could be described on a scale like the Richter Scale, the things I hate about homeopathy would register roughly like this:

Magnitude 1.0:  Homeopathy is junk pseudo-science. This isn't really all that bad, considering all the other junk pseudo-science most of us are familiar with and sometimes consciously subscribe to just because it makes us feel good (marijuana cures cancer, Lou Reed makes decent music, etc).

Magnitude 3.0: Homeopathy kills people who refuse real medicine. This is worse because it involves death of course, but still not a major event, because it isn't like these idiots were forced at gunpoint to choke down some awful mixture of stagnant water and mint leaves. Plus, it helps out the funeral industry so it isn't all bad.

Magnitude 10.0: Homeopathy's believers (and "agnostics") are so willfully ignorant of actual science, and so loudly obnoxious about it, that alternative medicines and treatments that might actually work are dismissed prematurely by doctors and scientists just because it is easier to count them in the same column as homeopathy than it is to take research on them seriously. It has tainted the entire notion of medicine outside of the mainstream.

4

This is what Obama did to me today.
- Car gets Ebola thanks to lax border security.
- Car proceeds to perform uncontrolled evasive maneuvers on freeway like it's a top Administration official dodging questions about #BENGHAZI.
- I don't even get any good PILLS out of the deal.

5
Considering how the meltdown happened (I recommend reading Micheal Lewis for that), and the fact that properties are being snapped up now, I'd have to say that the latter wasn't planned, but is just another example of the rich getting paid on the front end and the back end AND the middle.

Sure, it looks like a happy coincidence, but there's an awful lot of serendipity going on for an awfully small number of chronically lucky people.

6
It's a good thing I don't believe in conspiracy theories, because if I did I'd be tempted to think the entire subprime mortgage crash and the following "Great Recession" were engineered from the beginning as a long troll on private home ownership in America. Of course, I am sophisticated and smart enough to know that nobody would do that -- not because they are above doing it, but because nobody can think that far ahead anymore.

Still, according to this link, the results are about the same as they'd be if it were some devious master plan.

There are three narratives to this story. One, the Conservative narrative, begins in the 1990s with President Clinton's push to drive up home ownership among Americans as a way to boost economies national and local, increase civic participation, and decrease crime, among other things (maybe some shadowy organization of goddamn HOAs bought Clinton, who knows). Of course, this was all a terrible and Socialist™ thing to do, because something something poor people with nice things something something, and the Conservatives were right because ten years later, a housing crash happened which proves poor people don't deserve nice things.

The "liberal" story starts around 2001 or so with the Banksters inventing a number of insidious financial instruments based on imaginary money that could only be realized through various legal and semi-legal forms of consumer financial fraud, the largest of these being the "Sub-Prime Mortgage," which if they were made out of anything physical would be confiscated at any airport for their tendency to blow up and break things. Eventually this game of American Roulette had to end in tears, and so it did in 2007 and 2008 with the collapse of the housing market. The Banksters knew it would happen, and they did it anyway, and that's why in 2009 the Democrats had them all arrested and put them in prison for a very long time. Or something.

But the third narrative, the one the lizard people and those aliens from Planet X don't want you to know about -- the real story here -- is far worse than either one of those two tales of political and financial incompetence and botched altruism. This one starts all the way back in January 1977, the last days of Gerald Ford's presidency. See, Gerald Ford was an asshole. We know he was an asshole because he was a Republican. And he was feeling especially dickish in January 1977 because he was about to be replaced by that wimp, Jimmy Carter. A president named Jimmy? What was the world coming to? Anyway, Soon-to-be-Ex-President Ford was intent on showing the ungrateful Americans who kicked his sorry ass out of the White House a thing or two. So he set in motion a series of bad decisions that eventually ruptured thirty years later like a disgusting time bomb made out of infected appendixes.

There are people who will tell you that the great engine of American prosperity and social stability has always been our "work ethic" or our "religion" or our "patriotism." These people are wrong. Actually, they're not only wrong, they are lying, on purpose, and are most likely being paid by the Koch Brothers or the estate of Ronnie James Dio to keep those awful lies in circulation. In actual point of fact, the thing that keeps America from becoming some terrible third-world nation is our fierce belief in private property. It is our fierce belief in "I got mine, you got yours, and never the twain shall meet" that keeps us milling about our daily lives contentedly, producing and consuming and voting and donating. It is the idea that all of us having some "skin in the game" keeps us happy and committed to society that was the basis for Clinton's push for expanded home ownership, and that idea was right. It just so happens that Clinton's not-terrible idea fit into Ford's plan like a cigar.

Ford's plan was brilliant in its subterfuge. He met quietly with a number of his fellow anti-taxers and pro-poverty douchebags in the GOP and Big Business™, and they set to work sewing the seeds of the biggest land grab and legal shakedown in American history. Details of the plan at this stage are few, but we do know that by the mid 90's, someone had gotten Clinton to push for this "Partners in the American Dream" program that virtually eliminated traditional barriers to home ownership like, um, being able to afford a house. And in the decade or so the plan was in effect, banks fell all over themselves to mop up the veritable chemical spill of easy money being pumped out of government loan guarantees like sweet crude from the floor of the Gulf of Mexico.

That, of course, is where most coverage stops, more or less. Bad government encourages bad business, and all that. But the story is continuing today and nobody is really paying attention anymore. In the wake of the housing crash, newly vacated shards of the American Dream were, and continue to be, snatched up by multi-billion-dollar corporations. Now, this is probably just business on their part, but consider the implications for this new reality where Americans rarely live in anything even remotely resembling real private property. Compare the legal rights of a home owner to the legal rights of a renter. All the same liabilities and responsibilities exist, with none of the privileges.

America is now a nation of serfs and peasants, living in tenements and shacks put up by corporate lords and provided for civil use so long as we agree to 100 pages of demands in the form of a rental or lease agreement, including an agreement to forego things like your 4th Amendment rights while occupying your assigned domicile. Add to that the currently in-vogue practice of Civil Forfeiture and what you have is a government which, at all levels, has built a hyperspace bypass right through the space formerly occupied by your rights as an individual.

And it's all thanks to Gerald Ford. This, ladies and gentlemen, is why Richard Nixon should still be the President, and this is why I am writing his name in for every available office this year and every election year, until the day I die.

7
MOTHERFUCKERS

DID NOT

JUST SAY SOME SHIT

ABOUT

RONNY JAMES DIO

not at all. I believe Dio is one of the most talented musicians of all time, in terms of converting inspiration and cocaine into audible mediocrity.

8
I mean, if you're going to award RRHoF induction to bands just because they are old and influential, there's got to be an entire wing of the place dedicated to Henry Kissinger on account of his inspiring an entire generation of musicians to write anti-war songs. There should be at least some accounting for talent and ingenuity, and no, just doing things differently does not count as ingenuity.

9
Lou Reed is to rock as Dio is to metal.

What I mean is, he sucks at singing and composition.

10
These bands are all wankers. Wake me up when Miley's on the list.

12
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Windows 9.
« on: October 02, 2014, 01:38:23 pm »
Desktop might not be dead but it is pissing blood and prone to bouts of memory loss and uncontrollable shaking. M$ core business is server and has been for decades. I'm pretty sure most of the last decade or so OS releases have been trolling people who insist on still buying desktops

Except Server 2012 also ditched the start menu and forces sysadmins to use that awful metro UI. Microsoft has their heads so far up their asses they can see Microsoft Bob.

13
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Windows 9.
« on: October 01, 2014, 05:37:17 pm »
But this IS brilliant. Every odd-numbered version of Windows sucks, and this is the most effective way to avoid that problem.

I thought it was the other way around. 7 seems good. 8 seems crap.


yes, this.

but then, skipping to 10 would make no sense at all.

14
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Windows 9.
« on: October 01, 2014, 04:58:54 pm »
But this IS brilliant. Every odd-numbered version of Windows sucks, and this is the most effective way to avoid that problem.

15
so far it is in "let everything grow unrestrained to see what i have to work with" mode. preliminary signs indicate the potential fairly full beard. Off the top of my head, I'm thinking this:


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