« on: Yesterday at 04:06:31 am »
We did get to play with liver flukes yesterday, though.
Heaven is a sausage party.
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SPHERICAL EARTH THEORY CREATED BY LAZY GEOLOGISTS SPENDING YOUR TAX DOLLARS ON SO-CALLED "SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH".
Blowing YUOR MONEY on rock hammers and plaid flannel shirts!
I licked a sample in Geology lab today.
I'll give your field that; in no other lab have I been allowed, let alone encouraged to lick a sample. And fuck knows I ask in every single Biology lab.
You have undergone The Initiation.
But the true test will be whether or not you find yourself surreptitiously licking rocks and minerals, even after you know damn well that halite is the only one where that test actually reveals any information.
Yesterday, at his brother's funeral, my friend came up to me and said "So A---'s mom just came up to me and asked, is that J-- H----? I think he friended me by accident on facebook, but I love reading his posts. Should I ask him for his autograph?"
Wedding tonight, followed by Easter celebration tomorrow. Mexican style! See you guys next week!
No. Just no. WHY DO YOU NEED A SPECIFIC TERM FOR THIS?
Also, this was fun: http://siryouarebeingmocked.tumblr.com/post/42232937004/genderescent-is-a-specific-term-meaning-a-person-of
Biromantic means "to describe romantic attraction to more than one gender, despite the lack of sexual attraction" and with the gray in front it means "gray-romantic (grey-romantic) is a person with a romantic orientation that is somewhere between aromantic and romantic.
For example, a gray-romantic may: Experience romantic attraction but not very often. Experience romantic attraction, but not desire romantic relationships. Desire relationships which are not quite platonic and not quite romantic."
It's interesting to see so many different sides of this.
Nigel, did you have people close to you self terminate? You seem very bitter and angry about it.
I never considered the ones I know to have been selfish assholes. I sort of sympathized. In a weird kind of way.
I understood a couple of them, like my friend with the child (which is where all of this stemmed from. I was thinking about her the other day).
She was in an accident and in a coma for a couple of months. A small portion of her brain had to be removed due to swelling, and one day she woke up and said "Where's my bike. Shit. Where the hell am I?", like nothing had happened. However, she suffered a downward spiral of depression a short while after. It went on for a couple of years. No smiles, no happiness, not even moments of "ok". She truly just suffered under a dark cloud until one day she ended it.
I feel horrible for her family and her child, but at the same time I never saw her as a selfish asshole, but as someone who just couldn't live inside her own head anymore. I felt sympathy for her. I felt like she was finally free. I'm sure her family thinks much differently, but it was hard for everyone to watch her suffer, and honestly, I think there was a little relief from a few. Her grandmother said "She doesn't have to suffer anymore" at her memorial service.
As far as comparing it to my own child, I can't even fathom the thought. Meaning I can't even think about that. The idea of him even being heartbroken over a girl makes me want to Hulk out on this town. I love that boy more than words can even say (obviously), so really, I can't use that to contrast, cause the mere thought makes me die inside.
So, what it comes down to, I guess, is yes, I would rather my parents suffer than die. Because at least they're still alive and have some glimmer of hope. And they're both stubborn fucking assholes so there's no excuse there. I wouldn't forgive them for it. I'd never get over it.
No, not really. Because not only do you have the fact that you were abandoned, not only do you never have the chance to figure out why, and spend who knows how long blaming yourself, you find yourself wondering what you could have done that was so horrible that you drove someone who you thought loved you away. THAT, you get to wrestle with for however long it takes, and THEN you deal with not only the loss, but the question of what you could have done to stop it, if only you'd been there, if only you'd tried harder, if only you'd seen...
Either way it's fucking horrible. The only advantage I can see to alienating your family and then abandoning them is that it allows them to write you off as an asshole, which, trust me, they will want to do even if you weren't, because suicide is a complete and utter asshole thing to do to people who love you. The anger after a loved one commits suicide is deep and frightening, alongside the self-recrimination, guilt, and unreconcilable regret that never goes away.
My mother's godson committed suicide. I didn't know him very well, but it was my mother's godson, so I went with her and she was pretty upset. He was a teenager. The line for his wake was around the parking lot. Mom and I were in line for an hour and a half. About 20 minutes into it, she said to me, "if only he could see how many people would show up for this, maybe he wouldn't have done it." And you know what, she was right.
I myself have a pretty complex relationship with my parents. I'm not sure either of them realize how complex it is. But I would be absolutely gutted if either one of them offed themselves. I don't have to like them to love them unconditionally. And I'm saying this as a 32 year old.