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Messages - V3X

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1
And it won't stop anytime soon, because even the poor hate the poor in America. They don't even accept the fact that they are, in fact, poor. They are just millionaires in training.

2
I have completely given up the fight to bring sanity to the decision making processes of the executives at my company. When $25,000 for a fancy toy to broadcast video is a five-second decision, but $75,000 to actually provide the service we are selling to customers takes four months of bickering up and down the command chain, eventually coming out at "we'll pay $50,000 but we must have the same features as the $75,000 estimate," there is no hope for reason to win the day.

3
Who said growing up is all work and no fun? We put the minivexen to bed and then stayed up another 2 hours playing with their Legos. It turns out life does have small pleasures.

4
jesus.

Can people stop thumbing their noses at Linux yet?

5
I complain about my job a lot, but it's nice that there is someone whose job is to receive diagrams I have scribbled out in sloppy pen and turn them into proper Visio diagrams for which I get credit.

6
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Anybody look at Ukraine lately?
« on: January 23, 2014, 05:53:31 am »
This is disgusting, and I fully expect Anonymous or some such bunch of Internet hooligans to devise ways to foil and evade technology that allows this kind of shit to happen. If they don't, they'll be proving their uselessness to the resistance.

And not that this applies directly to Ukraine, but I have become convinced that in addition to having what amounts to tribute/serf states and pools of slave labor, one of the main reasons the US tends to prop up awful regimes throughout the world is to field-test theories and practices in the most effective way to implement absolute rule.

7
UPDATE: Cancer scare was, apparently, a false alarm. Thank you all for praying to Eris, not because I believe in prayer, but because I now get to tell my sister in law that her son will live because a bunch of Internet people prayed to the Goddess of Confusion and Chaos. Seriously though, I imagine the kid is feeling like a bazillion bucks right now, even if his knee does still have a weird lump in its bone and inexplicable chronic pain.

8
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Think For Your Own God Damned Self
« on: January 22, 2014, 07:33:45 pm »
I have found that attempting to purposely "think for myself" is harder than it sounds. Maybe it's just me, but it's way too easy to slip into an "I've already heard this opinion somewhere, so it can't be mine" kind of brain loop. I also tend to think about things I am no expert about, so there's a lot of borrowing other people's conclusions going on. On some topics, though, thinking for myself is really the only way to go because the selection of ideas and conclusions available on the open market are either completely asinine or necessarily linked to other ideas that are asinine (see: politics).

"Think for yourself" is a bit like "be yourself." Great advice, if you can actually nail down what the fuck you're actually talking about. Which premises are inherently valuable or correct? Which aspects of "myself" are really "myself" and not some half-baked amalgamation of sensory input stuck in my cognitive gears?

Am I derailing the topic? Apologies if so.

9
Aneristic Illusions / Re: UNLIMITED Arizona Hilarity thread
« on: January 22, 2014, 12:46:18 am »
- Sheriff Joe goes around in the wilderness putting up little white crosses to remind undocumented immigrants how dead they ought to be.

Yep.

When Sheriff Joe finally croaks, there will be ten worse guys to take his place. It always happens like that: "George Wallace is dead! That old racist generation is dying out and things are going to change for the better now!"

NOPE. If you think it's bad now, wait ten or fifteen years.

Arizona is also the place where tiny little tornados come and pick up four-by-fours and whirl them around for a just second before disappearing. When you walk past piles of crap, there's always a chance something could float up and brain you.

I disagree.  Sheriff Joe is the last of the dinosaurs.  When he's gone, all that will be left is small & annoying birds.

This. Of course, it should not be construed to mean that Arizona will cease to be weird, or that Phoenix will cease to be filled with jackals.

10
Motion to immediately canonize Biquette and pass a resolution to erect a memorial in front of a county courthouse somewhere.

11
The answer, clearly, is to get a business license to cover all of your illegal activities.

I DIDN'T ROB THAT BANK! IT WAS ME, INC. THAT DID IT! I HAVE THE MEMO TO PROVE IT!

12
This goat lived a more beautiful life than most humans ever will.

13
Aneristic Illusions / Re: UNLIMITED Arizona Hilarity thread
« on: January 21, 2014, 11:35:33 pm »
The only thing tethering me to reality is the fact that I spent 3 years in Tucson myself, therefore poisoning the pit of my being with its weirdness and ruining it for Sheriff Joe. I'm damaged goods to his bunch, sure, but I'm still buried under five tons of them.

You'll be back.

I can feel it in my bones. Every once in a while I find myself out of cat videos to watch on Youtube and end up browsing Craigslist job postings in Tucson, without consciously meaning to. Eventually I'll find one, and then I'll be on my way. It's only a matter of time.

Arizona is scary, man.

"Scary" falls somewhat short. In my brief 32 years, here are some things that I have *I swear to Christ* seen, in Arizona:

- A moth, as large as a doorknob. ON a doorknob, so I know I'm not making this shit up.
- A normal black fly. Normal, in all respects, except that it was as big as my six-year-old fist. Fuck the laws of physics, that shit was absolutely real.
- An out of body experience induced by the smell of average red latex paint.

And then there are the things that aren't even weird.
- Every single creature in the desert is weaponized, including what you'd normally think of as "prey" animals. Jackrabbits can kill you, as in kill you dead.
- We build bridges over rivers that have been bone dry for a thousand years.
- We build regular ground-level streets through rivers that look dry until the rainy season wipes them out once every decade.
- Sheriff Joe goes around in the wilderness putting up little white crosses to remind undocumented immigrants how dead they ought to be.
- Our cell phone towers are disguised as palm trees and cacti, because we want the convenience of the 21st century, but we want to pretend it's still 1860.

14
Aneristic Illusions / Re: UNLIMITED Arizona Hilarity thread
« on: January 21, 2014, 11:13:11 pm »
The only thing tethering me to reality is the fact that I spent 3 years in Tucson myself, therefore poisoning the pit of my being with its weirdness and ruining it for Sheriff Joe. I'm damaged goods to his bunch, sure, but I'm still buried under five tons of them.

15
Aneristic Illusions / Re: UNLIMITED Arizona Hilarity thread
« on: January 21, 2014, 11:07:56 pm »
As a person who is North of Casa Grande, I would love nothing more than to object to Roger's characterization of this half of the state.

But I can't, because he is right.

Everyone up here is awful. Even our small business owners are awful. Everyone. Including me. Just rotten and evil from the very deepest point of the soul.

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