31
Apple Zone / Re: ITT - OFFICIAL VOTING FOR NEW MEXICO
« on: April 30, 2013, 05:15:41 am »
DO NOT LET THEM FOOL YOU.
THIS ELECTION IS A SHAM!
CHOOSE ANONEXICO
WE DO NOT FORGIVE.
WE DO NOT FORGET.
WE DO TAKE SIESTAS, HOWEVER.
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DO NOT LET THEM FOOL YOU.
THIS ELECTION IS A SHAM!
CHOOSE ANONEXICO
WE DO NOT FORGIVE.
WE DO NOT FORGET.
WE DO TAKE SIESTAS, HOWEVER.
32
Apple Zone / Re: ITT - OFFICIAL VOTING FOR NEW MEXICO
« on: April 29, 2013, 10:12:22 pm »
The 2nd Amendment says I can declare myself Mexico whenever I want. So, you know, elections are kind of unnecessary.
33
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Ritual Purge: school to prison pipeline
« on: April 29, 2013, 09:48:13 pm »
PIC RELATED:
34
Apple Zone / Re: ITT - OFFICIAL VOTING FOR NEW MEXICO
« on: April 29, 2013, 09:41:26 pm »
THIS ELECTION REMINDS ME OF FLORIDA
KEEP RECOUNTING UNTIL THE RIGHT PERSON WINS
You learned about Democracy™ from the wrong country!
KEEP RECOUNTING UNTIL THE RIGHT PERSON WINS
You learned about Democracy™ from the wrong country!
35
Apple Zone / Re: Liveblogging the Clusterfuck at Work
« on: April 25, 2013, 11:03:52 pm »
Yesterday: 8AM to 11:30PM: I must have blacked out because I can't remember anything from that period, and when I went in today, NO PROGRESS HAD BEEN MADE. I am filled with rage.
Today
10:00 AM: After a conference call, the Juniper guy finally decided my idea about how to configure the fucking thing was "worth a shot."
10:15 AM: Oh look, everything is working. How weird. And it only took 2 entire days, including no less than 6 after-closing hours, to do what actually takes 15 minutes when you do it correctly.
11:00 AM-5:00 PM: Printers. Users. Wires. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Smoke. Wires. Printers.
6:00 PM: Fuck you all, I'm leaving.
Can't wait for tomorrow.
Today
10:00 AM: After a conference call, the Juniper guy finally decided my idea about how to configure the fucking thing was "worth a shot."
10:15 AM: Oh look, everything is working. How weird. And it only took 2 entire days, including no less than 6 after-closing hours, to do what actually takes 15 minutes when you do it correctly.
11:00 AM-5:00 PM: Printers. Users. Wires. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Smoke. Wires. Printers.
6:00 PM: Fuck you all, I'm leaving.
Can't wait for tomorrow.
36
Apple Zone / Re: Liveblogging the Clusterfuck at Work
« on: April 24, 2013, 09:37:44 pm »Was it already a dead thing?
Yes I found it that way and I'm leaving it that way.
That's gonna get REAL stinky
Not my problem. Besides, it can't get much stinkier than it already is. If you could capture the aromatic essence of NYC and bottle it, the FBI would raise your house and charge you with manufacturing chemical weapons.
37
Apple Zone / Re: Curiosity Draws Penises On Mars.
« on: April 24, 2013, 09:00:08 pm »
NSFW! NSFW!
POST PICTURES OF SOMETHING ACCEPTABLE! SOMETHING WHOLESOME AND FAMILY-FRIENDLY! LIKE CHILDREN BEING BLOWN TO PIECES BY 'MURICAN DRONES!
FUCK'S SAKE, YOU TRYING TO GET ME FIRED!?
POST PICTURES OF SOMETHING ACCEPTABLE! SOMETHING WHOLESOME AND FAMILY-FRIENDLY! LIKE CHILDREN BEING BLOWN TO PIECES BY 'MURICAN DRONES!
FUCK'S SAKE, YOU TRYING TO GET ME FIRED!?
38
Apple Zone / Re: Liveblogging the Clusterfuck at Work
« on: April 24, 2013, 08:29:50 pm »Was it already a dead thing?
Yes I found it that way and I'm leaving it that way.
39
Apple Zone / Re: Liveblogging the Clusterfuck at Work
« on: April 24, 2013, 08:18:39 pm »
1:30 PM: Network is back up, and everything is quiet. Except for me, that is, because the only way to bring the network back up was to completely give up on the required configuration changes. What that means is that I get to stay late tonight until either the changes have been made successfully, or I can no longer smell New Jersey from here, neither of which is likely to occur in this decade.
Technically, it's a mouse, and it's plugged in to the power outlet behind his desk. I don't mind, though. They have hand sanitizer and decent soap in the bathroom, and this CEO is a snotty, spoiled New Yorker whose shit doesn't stink, and now that I've passed this image around to everyone else in the company, he is now the object of satisfying, if slightly unwitty, jokes and puns from everywhere.
Also since we purchased this company, he isn't technically the CEO anymore. He's more like, I dunno, just some guy with an ego that no longer fits inside his official title. He's like "Office Manager II" or something, which of course means he's redundant and will be downsized shortly.
Is that a rat plugged into your CEO's desk?
Technically, it's a mouse, and it's plugged in to the power outlet behind his desk. I don't mind, though. They have hand sanitizer and decent soap in the bathroom, and this CEO is a snotty, spoiled New Yorker whose shit doesn't stink, and now that I've passed this image around to everyone else in the company, he is now the object of satisfying, if slightly unwitty, jokes and puns from everywhere.
Also since we purchased this company, he isn't technically the CEO anymore. He's more like, I dunno, just some guy with an ego that no longer fits inside his official title. He's like "Office Manager II" or something, which of course means he's redundant and will be downsized shortly.
40
Apple Zone / Liveblogging the Clusterfuck at Work
« on: April 24, 2013, 06:02:45 pm »
6:38 AM: Woke up 7 minutes before the alarm goes off. Awesome! As a reward, I will allow myself to sleep until that alarm rings.
7:53 AM: Woke up again. Shit, supposed to be at work by 8. Fuck.
7:57 AM: Hotel lobby. Of course there's a line at the coffee machine. Oh well, I'm going to be late anyway, fuck it I'll wait.
8:05 AM: Ran down the stairs, swiped the MetroCard 6 times (oh good, looks like it's gonna be a banner day for technology!) and arrived at the platform in time to catch a glimpse of the train as it disappeared down the tunnel. Another 5 minute wait, oh well.
8:10 AM: Coffee on pants. Eh. Whatever.
8:25 AM: Arrive at the office. People are running around yelling and waving their arms, like one of those Simpsons episodes where they run out of ideas halfway through the script. "NETWORK IS DOWN OMG WHAT WILL WE DO!?" Nevermind that I informed them the network would be down until at least 8:45 this morning. Everything is on schedule despite my sleeping late... but these people do not seem to notice.
9:07 AM: Network finally back online. GO GO GO! Hit the spreadsheets, everyone! I'm going to find a Starbucks.
9:30 AM: CEO says "ARRGH WHAT ABOUT MY PRINTER?" It doesn't work with the new system, I'm sorry you're inconvenienced. I'll go downstairs and buy one at Staples.
9:35 AM: Staples does not sell printers at this location. Walking to nearest suitable store.
10:00 AM: Arrived back at the office with the new printer. Replace old printer. Set up new one. Fuck with network wires and find THIS behind the CEO's desk:
Well, looks like I found out why this place is plagued with so many issues...
10:30 AM: [Warning: technical] The Juniper guy says he's ready to apply the new network configuration so IP phones will work. Okay, I say, go ahead and do it. Five seconds later the whole network goes dark and there's a throng of angry villagers outside the server room door with pitchforks and torches, crying out for someone's head. I try to hold them off, but I can't. I throw the intern at them and let them work him over for a while, as I curse the Juniper guy over a staticky cell phone connection. He doesn't seem to understand that in a network, there are "routers" and "switches" for a reason. Routers route, and switches switch. He wants to make the switch do the routing. I call him a filthy carpetbagger from Texas, tell him to pack up his Trans-Am and go back to the trailer park where nobody cares about the proper way to build a network. He ends the phone call politely.
12:00 PM: Fuck this, the network is still down, but it's lunch time. This company needs to know what it means to be owned by a rag-tag bunch of ex-educators from Arizona, and they'll never be properly familiarized if we don't inconvenience them.
I am surrounded by imbeciles.
It's too early to start drinking.
....
7:53 AM: Woke up again. Shit, supposed to be at work by 8. Fuck.
7:57 AM: Hotel lobby. Of course there's a line at the coffee machine. Oh well, I'm going to be late anyway, fuck it I'll wait.
8:05 AM: Ran down the stairs, swiped the MetroCard 6 times (oh good, looks like it's gonna be a banner day for technology!) and arrived at the platform in time to catch a glimpse of the train as it disappeared down the tunnel. Another 5 minute wait, oh well.
8:10 AM: Coffee on pants. Eh. Whatever.
8:25 AM: Arrive at the office. People are running around yelling and waving their arms, like one of those Simpsons episodes where they run out of ideas halfway through the script. "NETWORK IS DOWN OMG WHAT WILL WE DO!?" Nevermind that I informed them the network would be down until at least 8:45 this morning. Everything is on schedule despite my sleeping late... but these people do not seem to notice.
9:07 AM: Network finally back online. GO GO GO! Hit the spreadsheets, everyone! I'm going to find a Starbucks.
9:30 AM: CEO says "ARRGH WHAT ABOUT MY PRINTER?" It doesn't work with the new system, I'm sorry you're inconvenienced. I'll go downstairs and buy one at Staples.
9:35 AM: Staples does not sell printers at this location. Walking to nearest suitable store.
10:00 AM: Arrived back at the office with the new printer. Replace old printer. Set up new one. Fuck with network wires and find THIS behind the CEO's desk:
Well, looks like I found out why this place is plagued with so many issues...
10:30 AM: [Warning: technical] The Juniper guy says he's ready to apply the new network configuration so IP phones will work. Okay, I say, go ahead and do it. Five seconds later the whole network goes dark and there's a throng of angry villagers outside the server room door with pitchforks and torches, crying out for someone's head. I try to hold them off, but I can't. I throw the intern at them and let them work him over for a while, as I curse the Juniper guy over a staticky cell phone connection. He doesn't seem to understand that in a network, there are "routers" and "switches" for a reason. Routers route, and switches switch. He wants to make the switch do the routing. I call him a filthy carpetbagger from Texas, tell him to pack up his Trans-Am and go back to the trailer park where nobody cares about the proper way to build a network. He ends the phone call politely.
12:00 PM: Fuck this, the network is still down, but it's lunch time. This company needs to know what it means to be owned by a rag-tag bunch of ex-educators from Arizona, and they'll never be properly familiarized if we don't inconvenience them.
I am surrounded by imbeciles.
It's too early to start drinking.
....
41
Apple Zone / Re: Things go boom
« on: April 24, 2013, 02:52:14 am »
GIVE ME LIBERTY
OR... don't, I guess.
It's up to you.
I'll just be in here taking a nap.
If that's OK.
OR... don't, I guess.
It's up to you.
I'll just be in here taking a nap.
If that's OK.
42
Apple Zone / Re: ITT - OFFICIAL VOTING FOR NEW MEXICO
« on: April 23, 2013, 03:54:34 am »
PROMISING HANDJOBS IS INSULTING AND DEGRADING TO THE OFFICE OF MEXICO, AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT.
I support TGRR for Mexico.
Not because I believe his lies about the second half of the joke, but because choosing a candidate out of you lot is disturbing enough to hope TGRR is the one with his finger on the Big Red Button when it's all over.
I support TGRR for Mexico.
Not because I believe his lies about the second half of the joke, but because choosing a candidate out of you lot is disturbing enough to hope TGRR is the one with his finger on the Big Red Button when it's all over.
43
Apple Zone / Re: I'm playing Nation States
« on: April 22, 2013, 01:52:00 pm »Tried playing it, got bored quickly.
Any game that does not have mechanics for conflict is of considerably less interest to me. I'd rather play Civ II.
This. What fun is there in a simulation that ignores the basic principal that governing, at all levels, is a struggle for supremacy?
Besides, NationStates isn't even a game, its a forum with overblown profile pages.
44
Apple Zone / Re: BRILLIANT FOOD CART IDEAS ITT
« on: April 21, 2013, 09:39:00 pm »A chickenfried lard cart. Just breaded, fried lard. For AMERICA.
WHAT NO CHEESE?
