6:38 AM: Woke up 7 minutes before the alarm goes off. Awesome! As a reward, I will allow myself to sleep until that alarm rings.
7:53 AM: Woke up again. Shit, supposed to be at work by 8. Fuck.
7:57 AM: Hotel lobby. Of course
there's a line at the coffee machine. Oh well, I'm going to be late anyway, fuck it I'll wait.
8:05 AM: Ran down the stairs, swiped the MetroCard 6 times (oh good, looks like it's gonna be a banner day for technology!) and arrived at the platform in time to catch a glimpse of the train as it disappeared down the tunnel. Another 5 minute wait, oh well.
8:10 AM: Coffee on pants. Eh. Whatever.
8:25 AM: Arrive at the office. People are running around yelling and waving their arms, like one of those Simpsons episodes where they run out of ideas halfway through the script. "NETWORK IS DOWN OMG WHAT WILL WE DO!?" Nevermind that I informed them the network would be down until at least 8:45 this morning. Everything is on schedule despite my sleeping late... but these people do not seem to notice.
9:07 AM: Network finally back online. GO GO GO! Hit the spreadsheets, everyone! I'm going to find a Starbucks.
9:30 AM: CEO says "ARRGH WHAT ABOUT MY PRINTER?" It doesn't work with the new system, I'm sorry you're inconvenienced. I'll go downstairs and buy one at Staples.
9:35 AM: Staples does not sell printers at this location. Walking to nearest suitable store.
10:00 AM: Arrived back at the office with the new printer. Replace old printer. Set up new one. Fuck with network wires and find THIS behind the CEO's desk:
Well, looks like I found out why this place is plagued with so many issues...
10:30 AM: [Warning: technical] The Juniper guy says he's ready to apply the new network configuration so IP phones will work. Okay, I say, go ahead and do it. Five seconds later the whole network goes dark and there's a throng of angry villagers outside the server room door with pitchforks and torches, crying out for someone's head. I try to hold them off, but I can't. I throw the intern at them and let them work him over for a while, as I curse the Juniper guy over a staticky cell phone connection. He doesn't seem to understand that in a network, there are "routers" and "switches" for a reason. Routers route, and switches switch. He wants to make the switch do the routing. I call him a filthy carpetbagger from Texas, tell him to pack up his Trans-Am and go back to the trailer park where nobody cares about the proper way to build a network. He ends the phone call politely.
12:00 PM: Fuck this, the network is still down, but it's lunch time. This company needs to know what it means to be owned by a rag-tag bunch of ex-educators from Arizona, and they'll never be properly familiarized if we don't inconvenience them.
I am surrounded by imbeciles.
It's too early to start drinking.