I don't know who should be nominated, but whoever it is better amass an army to surround your awful compound in Tucson and TAKE the second half of the joke from you BY FORCE.
I'll burn it first.
. Your barely legitimate charade of democracy propped up by six-guns and the bones of Old West heroes will crumble soon enough, though, and then the People can sweep in victoriously and view the ENTIRE joke as it was meant to be in the beginning.
If elected Mexico, I will ask El Bueno Reverendo Rojelio what the second half of the joke is. And then I will maintain it as a state secret, like all of those dealings with Los Zetas Reticulanos we don't tell the Americans about because we don't want them to get all that sweet alien technology we're reverse engineering at all those old Aztec pyramids.
Don't worry, you won't get the chance. We've got a PAC with a rap sheet on you three miles long, and that's just up to the first grade. If you so much as form an exploratory committee, we'll drag your reputation through so much mud even the good people of MEXICO will demand you be deported.