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Topics - Dysfunctional Cunt

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16
Or Kill Me / The Apathy of Maybe....
« on: April 05, 2011, 03:34:16 pm »
Iím tired.  Iím tired of being told what to think, how to feel or what pill to take when I donít conform. 

Iím tired of watching the world around me fall into the great shithole of stupidity and knowing that while there have been great people in the past, who have set out to achieve change and to try to make things better and actually accomplished those goals, Iím not one of those people.  I used to be angry that I let things like that bother me, these days I just want to watch it all burn.

Maybe I should strive to be a world changer and itís quite possible my irritation with myself is over my own apathy rather than my impotence.  Maybe I do have the ability to make real changes in the world around me.  Maybe I can be the difference I want to see.

Then again, maybe the world isnít as terrible as I think it is and itís my own chaotic life I see going down the shithole.  Or maybe Iím sick after a long, cold, snowy winter and I just need a good dose of sunshine. 

Or maybe itís just time I stopped letting the monkeys get to me and work harder on enjoying the ride.

I can Ďmaybeí myself into or out of any situation and in truth donít we all?  Donít we all try to justify our activism or lack thereof, do we not all rage for or against The Machine ô at some time or another. 

Do we not Ďmaybeí ourselves thru the hour, day, week, monthÖ.. 

Yes there are terrible horrible things happening out there in the world.  Yes, if we banned enough together we might actually achieve change.  The real question is these days, ďDo we want to?Ē

So here is what Iíve decided for myself.  Iím getting back on that highway and Iím going to drive like there is no tomorrow until there is no tomorrow.  I canít fix the world and at this point, I no longer want to try.

But I am damn well going to enjoy its collapse. 

So what the fuck are you going to do?

17
ENOUGH IS FUCKING ENOUGH!!!


When I wake up in the morning at the end of fucking March, this is not what I expect to see, nor am I happy about the fucking sleet and freezing rain to follow this shit!  





I mean seriously, have I not been loyal?  Have I not harassed the harassable, tormented the tormentable, spread chaos and discord every where I go?  I mean seriously do you fucking want my oldest male child because lemme tell ya he ain't all that....

Please to be fixing the St. Louis weather as soon as possible!

Thank you!!!

18
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / I need me a man...
« on: March 11, 2011, 03:36:13 am »
...to explain the attraction, the humor of "JackAss". 

19
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / How Long?
« on: February 28, 2011, 06:38:01 pm »
This can be moved, I really debated which thread this belonged in and just couldn't decide....

How long before we see the kind of protesting that is/was going on in Egypt and Libya here in the US?


20
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Email Advice
« on: February 18, 2011, 05:34:06 pm »
I need a new email account to use for my contact with the kid's dad. 

Yahoo does not offer a read receipt.  Neither does GMail.

Do y'all know of any free emails out there that do have that option?

I want to be able to prove I've complied with the court order and so forth, so if anyone has a better suggestion or something..... 

CCing my lawyer is a GREAT idea, problem is he will charge me so not so great.

21
Or Kill Me / An Open Apology
« on: February 15, 2011, 08:51:17 pm »
To the world at large.....

PD I owe you an apology.

Iíve determined that while I was fully aware I wasnít the sharpest tool here at PD, the concept that I could still hold my own in a discussion was a sad mistake on my part.

I canít and it has become glaringly obvious to me.  I must come across as either a complete idiot with the biggest pile of crap for brains ever or an autistic three year old.  Either is possible considering the pats on the head and the ďoh you just donít get itĒ comments I keep getting.

So PD, I apologize and will, from this point forward, limit any and all of my comments to things I know about.  Food, children and well ummmm, yep thatís about it. 

So sorry to have wasted your and my time in all my years of comments, rants and other posts before today.  It took me a while to realize how stupid I come across but yanno what itís ok.  I get it now!

Better late than never right!!  :wink:

22
...wanted to know about me right here... IN THIS THREAD....

Seems I have been slipping up with my alt account.  I forgot who I was.  So as it is easier to be me than someone else and since my lawyer has said ok...  here you go on the trials and insanity of why I haven't been around, that you knew......   :wink:

Well, it sucks to be you guys today.  Iím fixing to give you more information than you have ever wanted to know about me.  Might explain a whole lot of why I am the bitch I am todayÖ..

First off, just a touch of background. 

http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2003/may/31/suspected-serial-killers-trial-begins-today-collie/

Yeah, it wasnít a pretty time in my life.  This is, thank god, one of only two articles still floating around out there that has my name in it.  The articles with the kidís names are finally lost in cyberspace. 

So life was crazy. I was paying off the husbandís debts trying to keep the crack dealing mother fuckers from hurting my kids.  I had finally gotten my shit into something resembling a life and thenÖ..

BAM

http://www.floridasupremecourt.org/decisions/2006/sc03-1012.pdf

They let the fucker go.  Yeah, the decision came over one day and he walked out of prison a free man the next. 

Victimís Assistance put us (me and the kids) in the local shelter.  When my sister-in-law tried to get my kids out of school a couple of days after their dad's release, we had to pull them out. 

That was when we were moved up north.  We went into the system.  Lived in this shelter and that shelter.  I basically homeschooled the kids for the rest of that year while we bounced around finally landing here in St. Louis and a ďtransitionalĒ program. 

For the first two years up here, we were terrified to say anything to anyone.  I had been told the next step if their dad found us was identity change and I would lose all contact with my family.  So I made no friends, the kids tried but it was difficult since the wrong slip and someone would Google one of the kids or me and Iíd end up putting them in yet another school.

The program we were put into was a very badly run program.  The damage to the kids and I both mentally and emotionally is something we are still working on.

Then their dad started trying to contact us.  He was sending letters to my dad who would in turn send everything to us here in St. Louis.  This worked really well until Dad died.  A letter sent, not forwarded, then returned and we were found.  Our only option with Victimís Assistance was to be moved to another state and put into another program.  Or I could stand my ground. 

So I stood. (Thanks Roger!!!)  I filed for divorce.  It has gotten really really ugly.  A stupid reference on my fucking facebook page gave him this place.  Then he started harassing me about everything I said or did here at PD, facebook.  Tried the sheís a witch I deserve custody trick, oh she admits to smoking weed online and so on.

Then came the day.  I had a court appearance for a restraining order.  While I was in court, he was in St. Louis trying to get my kids from their school.  That same day the PI we had out in California said he hadnít left the house since the Friday before.  But he wasnít in his house in California, he was in fucking St. Louis trying to get my fucking kids out of their school.  The judge denied the restraining order because he was no danger to me in California (fucking PI).  He didnít get the kids but he managed to piss me off royally.  It was a couple of days after that when the shit completely hit the fan and I had to start an account here at PD their dad wouldnít know was me.

Now in the course of all of this shit 2006 to current, both of my parents have died, and I had the summer from hell.  Iím not going to drag anyone into the whole insanity.  My blog http://kharaschaos.blogdrive.com/ is open to the public now.

So why, you ask, am I just now posting all of this?  Could it be my divorce is final after all this time?  No it isnít.  But the lawyers met yesterday over the separation, custody, child support and legal fee agreement and as long as I donít tell any lies about the kidís dad, there is nothing I post here he can use against me.  I go to court Monday to finalize this so the divorce can progress.  There are too many people along with the court system who know where I am now that he canít kill me.  So Iíve gotten another piece of my life back.

The funny part is, Iíve been here all along.  Posting, trying to play, being the same person Iíve always been, just new.  Iíve had my ass handed to me more than once and Iíve realized a lot about people I thought I knew better. 

Be that as it may, Iím fucking back.  Like me, hate me, or just donít give a flying fuck, itís all good.  Iím back and Iím me again.



23
Yeah, that's me.  You see I have a life or what can loosely be comapred to one.  And while I donít talk about it in detail, letís just say that for a while now it has sucked ass beyond comprehension.

Basically Iím just fucking toxic these days and Iím sure my posts and responses to people have reflected that.  Iím really sorry by the way, I hope it can be looked over or forgotten!! 

So Iím going to take a break.  Keep my shit together and plow through the next few months.  If I come back, you will know I survived and if I donít survive it, youíll read about it on the news.

Iím sure many of you really donít like me much, Iím sorry if itís because of my venom here lately.  It truly wasnít because of anyone here that Iím such a fucking cunt.  Life is kicking my ass 6 ways to Sunday and you know what, god doesnít give a flying fuck.  Or at least he doesnít return phone calls.

And to my friends here, some of you know the score, and if you donít thank your lucky stars because my garbage is not something you ever want to have to watch me sort through.  Itís rank and ugly and like me, not fit for human association.

Try and play nice with each other, and if you canít, try and let it roll.  Yíall have held me up during a shithole year and most of you didnít even know it!  So much love and GASM a bit for me! 

24
I have in my posession, well on my cell phone, 3 horribly terrific pictures from Fantasy Fest this weekend.  They've been kicked off photobucket 3 times now and I have an "official" warning!

I will gladly text them to anyone who can post them here! 

Giant penis aside, they are truly typical Key West behavior and nothing like your usual, It almost looks like the porn convention just partnered with Fantasy Fest!!!

PM me and I'll message them or email them to you!!! :lulz:

25
I am going out to buy a new laptop.  I really want one that I can use something like boingo or some such for the open wireless as I am surrounded by coffee shops, libraries and so on and don't necessarily need an actual service if I understand correctly.

So, tell me what it is I'm asking for so I don't look any more stupid than I have too!  :lulz:

Thanks in advance!!!

26
.....look so damn familiar?

http://video.yahoo.com/watch/7652891/20332683

 :lulz:

27
http://www.secularnewsdaily.com/2010/04/06/deepak-chopra-claim-he-caused-baja-quake-by-meditating/

Quote
Deepak Chopra, woo guru extraordinaire, accepted blame for the 7.2-magnitude earthquake in Baja California via Twitter. Seriously.

Tweeted this twit to his 179,000 followers:

Had a powerful meditation just now Ė caused an earthquake in Southern California.
3:56 PM Apr 4th via TweetDeck

Was meditating on Shiva mantra & earth began to shake. Sorry about that
3:59 PM Apr 4th via TweetDeck


http://www.secularnewsdaily.com/2010/04/08/huffington-post-ignores-deepak-chopras-bizarre-earthquake-claim/

Quote
Several days after the fact, there is no reference whatsoever to be found on the Huffington Post to HuffPo woo-guru Deepak Chopraís bizarre claim to have caused an earthquake through meditation.

Earlier this week, Deepak Chopra announced via Twitter that heíd caused an earthquake by meditating. He also promised not to do it again. At no point did he declare his comments a joke; considering the deaths, injuries, and property damage resulting from the Baja California temblor, a joke would certainly have been in poor taste.



I'm at the point of  :lulz: or  :argh!: and....  :horrormirth:

So can the victims sue this fucker?  Because he is loaded!!!

28
Or Kill Me / Even when you expect it....
« on: May 23, 2010, 03:17:59 pm »
I've said since my mom died I was just waiting for the phone call.  I've talked about it for almost 4 years now.  I've imagined almost every scenario.  I was prepared yanno?


Well I realized yesterday nothing prepares you for that call. You still have the shock, the confusion and for me, having to go home, this overwhelming fear.


I think a long as he was there I felt safe becuse there was one person left out there who had to love me.


So now I'm flying home tomorrow to do what I've been expecting to have to do for how long now. 


Only I wasn't prepared yanno?

29
You know, I really thought I had it under control.  Maybe not organized, or in any way efficient, but by god it seemed manageable.  You know how it goes Dok, you wake up one morning and there is nothing to give you a clue that everything is fixing to go right down the shitter. 

There arenít warning signs or unexplainable astrological events.  Unwashed prophets of doom really donít come up and warn you.  Shit just fucking happens.  You ride it through and hope youíre not broken at the end.  Thatís life right?  Just one ride after another?  Some days youíre on the monorail and some days youíre hanging upside down 100 miles per hours wishing you could just get the fuck off because otherwise youíre gonna puke all over those people down there.  Unfortunately, itís been too many years since I was able to enjoy the luxury of the monorail.  The last couple of weeks though, have been above and beyond the usual insanity of my normal chaos.

So Iíve gotten to the point of worrying that maybe Iím doing it all wrong

I have to wonder if itís really this hard for the monkeys?  I mean, maybe there is a safety net in the stupidity?  Maybe if you are just too damn dumb to realize the train is coming, it wonít hit you when you donít get off the track because the powers that be save the stupid.

Then I wonder if all the effort to remain upright is really worth it?  If you think about it, those damn monkeys sure seem awfully happy.  Of course sometimes itís hard to tell the difference between their laughing and my screaming.  But thatís just me right?

Look around at them.  They all seem to be doing fine.  Believing what they are told to believe.  Going where they are told to go and once there doing what they are told to do.  They will spend their entire lives following directions.  Of course that glazed look in their eyes, itís not because behind their eyes their brain is running around in their skull screaming for a bullet right?

Because after the last couple of years stuck on Mr. Toadís wild rideÖ.   Iím really beginning to wonder if a working brain is all itís cracked up to be!

Maybe I just need to shoot someoneÖ..  itís been a while!


30
First, let me start with I don't mind the banner advertising and this isn't me bitching about that.  Hell I get a kick out of some of them.  This one is new to me and I just had to share.....

http://www.thesecretofinvisibility.com/

 :lulz:

I just want to know which one of you spags did this because it's funny as hell!

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